I'm going to see comedian Patton Oswalt tonight. He's great because:
-He says "I'm a man without a country because I hate both George Bush AND hippies." That's my world view, people.
-His rant on KFC Famous Bowls is classic: "America has spoken: 'Pile my food in a fucking bowl. I don't give a shit anymore. If there's any way you could put my dinner in a blender and liquify it and then put it in a caulking gun and inject it into my femoral artery, that would be even better; but I know you don't have a lunch gun yet, so until you invent that, just make me a fucking failure pile in a sadness bowl.'"
There are other reasons he's great, but I gotta go.
-He says "I'm a man without a country because I hate both George Bush AND hippies." That's my world view, people.
-His rant on KFC Famous Bowls is classic: "America has spoken: 'Pile my food in a fucking bowl. I don't give a shit anymore. If there's any way you could put my dinner in a blender and liquify it and then put it in a caulking gun and inject it into my femoral artery, that would be even better; but I know you don't have a lunch gun yet, so until you invent that, just make me a fucking failure pile in a sadness bowl.'"
There are other reasons he's great, but I gotta go.
11 Comments:
Enjoy the show large fellow!
LOL.
I had not heard his rant about the "Famous Bowls" but I now must go see him if he ever comes to town. Friends of mine and I have been talking crap about those things since their conception.
That "bowl" bit was funny as hell. It's like people want to be slopped instead of actually eating their food these days.
Not that it comes as any surprise, but I also hate hippies.
that rant about the kfc bowls had me on the floor. he actually opened with that, yet the rest of his stuff was even funnier. and yet dane cook was somehow the headliner that night. go figure.
ok i just caught up on all the posts i missed while on the east coast.
i just wanted to check in and say hi.
also, patton oswalt is funny. you're right. he should come over for pie.
you too!!! PIE!
I thought the bits with the audience went on waaaay too long. Was he drunk?
I have 4 failure bowls at my apartment.
flounder,
thank you, Republican gent!
ubie,
he's a Scotch drinker.
stormin,
he added that they now add a biscuit to the bowls, that they "stick upright on the side of the bowl like a little tombstone. And if you want they'll write 'My Hopes' on it in ketchup."
vast,
you hate hippies? No way.
dan-e,
no Dane Cook here, thank god!
kendra,
hi. hope you had a great time on vacation. PIE!
erin,
he was obviously drunk. I found it hilarious. I've had many concerts in Louisville and especially Headliners ruined by showy assholes who want to be the center of attention. I'm glad he went off on that one guy. We need to hire Patton the next time Low plays in town (long story).
nick,
figuratively, I eat all of my food from a failure bowl/plate.
Today is Tuesday.
I have until 11:59 eastern standard time to post again.
Why should you hate hippies? Sounds a bit hypocritical. Hate the man that lives by whatever ridiculous ideals he desires and still survives, compared to a bunch of corporate minions that love to give lip service (I pretty much mean blow the man in their spare time.) to fighting the cause but still love to work for shit wages, deal with other asshole customers that share your consumerist heart, and follow the get skinny with Jenny Craig mantra of life. I'm only bulimic when I'm drinking; I swear. Brew your own beer, microbrews are a hipsters paradise. Acid is for the 70's. Prozac is for the now. It is all the same. Religion is for the future. Please drink the KoolAid.
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