Sunday, November 11, 2007
Fuck a bunch of "melty"
I was watching football this afternoon and two things stuck out: First of all, as a Dallas Cowboys fan I hope the New York Giants keep depending on Eli Manning to lead their team. He had three delay of game penalties today; at home, where the crowd shuts up when you have the ball. He looked like he was all loopy on horse tranquilizers. If Peyton Manning wasn't his brother, the dude would be playing in Canada.

Second, and even more disturbing, there are now two (2) inferior food merchants who describe their products as "melty". First Taco Bell, which is to authentic Mexican cuisine what Domino's is to good pizza; and now Domino's, which is to good pizza what Taco Bell is to authentic Mexican cuisine, have used this stupid made up word to peddle their respective prison chow.

Well, STOP IT! Stop using the word "melty"! And I've arranged it that anyone who repeats the word "melty" over and over in the comments has to give Dane Cook a rimjob. While he does his routine.


Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

belty! felty! smelty!

Blogger yournamehere said...

now you have to give Dane Cook a brimbob. It still involves you licking his asshole.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...


Blogger Jo said...

Maybe Eli had a head cold or something today. Be nice.

People who use the the non word "melty" deserve shovel justice. I think Taco Smell and Domino's should be forced to replace that word in their commercials with "Felchy."

Blogger Tracy said...

whenever i read your blog i feel all melty inside

Blogger Johnny Yen said...

I just love it when mass media grabs a buzz phrase or word and overuses it.

Back about four years ago, remember when they did that to "extreme" (or even worse, "xtreme")? I knew that the phrase had jumped the shark when I got an advertising flyer from Chicago's main grocery chain advertising "Extreme Values!" Broccoli for 79 cents a pound! Extreme!

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

I'd like one melty pizza chalupa xtreme, please.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Damn it, Todd. Why did you have to go and sully the thought of something as lovely as rimjobs with something as icky as Dane Cook?

Blogger miss kendra said...

esmerelty made me LOL.

logically, this means esmerelty > dane cook.

I was going to blog about this very topic!!!! Damn it for being too lazy, now you've beaten me to it. I agree, melty is a horrible word and should be immediately and forever taken out of the English language. By the way, it's more than Taco Bell and Dominos. I bought one of those new deli in a box sandwiches and it described the cheese as "melty". It was almost enough to make me not eat it. Almost.

Blogger Rachel Schell said...

ugh! Taco Bell and Dominoes! I think my stomach just started bubbling at the thought.

Blogger Yendor said...

What has been seen cannot be un-seen. So if that word now must exist... the "m" word (yes, let's be civil here) should be relegated to only be used in describing fecal matter, and the viscosity thereof.

That's a word association that will "stick", and drag down this most vile word with it.

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