The empty gossip industry was stunned when R and B singer Rhianna, less than three weeks after being beaten and choked senseless by Chris Brown, hooked up with her boyfriend/assailant during a weekend in Miami. However, this news was trumped during a seance in Los Angeles last night, when the ghost of Nicole Brown Simpson announced her plans to return to the earthly realm and reunite with her ex-husband and "alleged" killer, OJ Simpson.
"I've talked to OJ," Nicole's spectre told a group of stunned reporters. "I've been haunting his dreams lately, and I think he's really changed. He told me he's sorry for slitting my throat and getting away with it, and I believe him."
When asked how she and Mr. Simpson would maintain a relationship while he remains in prison on an armed robbery conviction, Nicole quipped "Hey, I'm a ghost; I think I can get in and out of a jail cell."
When asked for a comment on the reconciliation of OJ Simpson and the woman he murdered, Rhianna stated "I wish them luck. Everyone deserves a second chance."
Chris Brown then shouted from an adjoining room, "Bitch, shut up and fix me a turkey pot pie!"
"I've talked to OJ," Nicole's spectre told a group of stunned reporters. "I've been haunting his dreams lately, and I think he's really changed. He told me he's sorry for slitting my throat and getting away with it, and I believe him."
When asked how she and Mr. Simpson would maintain a relationship while he remains in prison on an armed robbery conviction, Nicole quipped "Hey, I'm a ghost; I think I can get in and out of a jail cell."
When asked for a comment on the reconciliation of OJ Simpson and the woman he murdered, Rhianna stated "I wish them luck. Everyone deserves a second chance."
Chris Brown then shouted from an adjoining room, "Bitch, shut up and fix me a turkey pot pie!"
4 Comments:
You realize your younger readers might not catch that "Breakfast Club" reference.
I'm older than y'all and I don't get the Breakfast Club reference. But then again, I was more into the Pretty in Pink and Sixteen Candles movies.
Funny stuff.
A friend of mine in college worked at a battered women's shelter for an internship. She told me about the training they got-- that there was a cycle going on, where the guy would apologize, swear it will never happen again, and then be on his best behavior for a while-- until it happens again. The cycle starts getting shorter and shorter, until it ends up with the woman's death-- unless she gets out of the relationship. This couldn't be a clearer example of that.
Classic.
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