Hey, remember the infamous "shirtless father and son duo" who attacked a coach at a White Sox game a few years ago? They rushed onto the field and beat him like he was some sort of disco record!
Well, the "son" of the duo is now a 22-year-old white trash wannabe gangsta. How do I know? I checked out his myspace page via Deadspin. If you don't want to make yourself retarded just looking at that, I'll summarize: He lists his mood as "servin" (which I don't believe is an actual mood but whatever), he refers to Chicago as "Chi Town", his occupation is noted as HUSTLA (white trash for "unemployed") and - brace yourselves - he is "Anticipatin the birth of my shorty."
But of course someone is breeding with this dude. "Oh, you're the guy who attacked a defenseless man when you were 15? I must have your children. I want the world to be as heartless and stupid as possible."
Why, girl who fucked "son", why? Was Robert John Bardo unavailable for conjugal visits? Did your letters to Monica Seles-stabber Gunter Parche go unanswered? Did freeway sniper John Lee Malvo play hard to get?
They're expecting a girl, so who knows what the future holds. Will she grow up to attack an aging Mia Hamm at a Legends of Soccer event? Will the "shirtless father and daughter duo" be charged with aggravated assault AND public indecency? Will the government finally call for the mass slaughter of people who wear tilted, non-cootered hats? I demand answers!
Well, the "son" of the duo is now a 22-year-old white trash wannabe gangsta. How do I know? I checked out his myspace page via Deadspin. If you don't want to make yourself retarded just looking at that, I'll summarize: He lists his mood as "servin" (which I don't believe is an actual mood but whatever), he refers to Chicago as "Chi Town", his occupation is noted as HUSTLA (white trash for "unemployed") and - brace yourselves - he is "Anticipatin the birth of my shorty."
But of course someone is breeding with this dude. "Oh, you're the guy who attacked a defenseless man when you were 15? I must have your children. I want the world to be as heartless and stupid as possible."
Why, girl who fucked "son", why? Was Robert John Bardo unavailable for conjugal visits? Did your letters to Monica Seles-stabber Gunter Parche go unanswered? Did freeway sniper John Lee Malvo play hard to get?
They're expecting a girl, so who knows what the future holds. Will she grow up to attack an aging Mia Hamm at a Legends of Soccer event? Will the "shirtless father and daughter duo" be charged with aggravated assault AND public indecency? Will the government finally call for the mass slaughter of people who wear tilted, non-cootered hats? I demand answers!
6 Comments:
for those of us who lead sheltered lives, what exactly is a non-cootered hat?
Non-cootered: http://www.campussqueeze.com/userfiles/flatbrimmedhat.jpg
Cootered: http://www.indiana.edu/~iuems/Images/Merchandise/Torso/Baseball%20Cap.JPG
Basically, non-cootered (and crooked) is the preferred hat-wearing method of douchebags and assholes across the land who think it looks cool. Mostly, it makes them look like a douchebag.
I couldn't have said it better, GBN.
Can you imagine what kind of upbringing that poor kid is gonna have? She doesn't have a fucking chance.
She'll have a chance when I kidnap her and raise her as my own.
Something tells me that his "shorty" will have a decent shot at growing up with some daddy issues and will make a fine stripped someday.
My favorite pic from his MySpace page is of him and his dad in the cop car after the beating incident, which he has (of course) labeled, " ME AND DAD IN THA BACKK OF DA COP CAR." The lone comment reads:
"You are so fucking sexy, I would have so been your cutie back in the day!You are so looking at me, you bad boy! Yummy, I love your tummy, it's nice with no tattoies! ~LadyTiger*~"
The punch line is, Billy added it HIMSELF!
If ever there was an argument for making a profile private, this is it. I'm surprised it hasn't been spammed by now.
Post a Comment
<< Home