Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Obama has a problem with Vegass
NOTE: The following criticism is not an open invitation for conservatives to write "Ha, we told you so. Obama is a Communist/terrorist/double dipper/poor tipper/baby killer/pill popper/obstructionist/rabble rouser/not nice guy." This is about one specific thing he said. I have a problem with part of it, so I'm going to vent. That is all.

A few days ago President Obama said in a speech, "When times are tough, you tighten your belts. You don't blow a bunch of cash in Vegas when you're trying to save for college. You prioritize. You make tough choices."

Of course this is true on the surface. I'd love to have a big screen TV and a mac notebook, but I can't afford them. And nobody should blow the college fund on the Wheel of Fortune slot. However, this is the second time the Prez has singled out Las Vegas as a place you shouldn't spend your hard earned money. Since the Las Vegas economy is in the shitter and I still have friends and family who live there, I take offense at his selective criticism.

Is the President suggesting no one take vacations? Is he a fan of workplace violence? Because there would be a spike of "Bob from the mail room" shooting the place up if people stopped taking breaks from their shitty everyday lives. Or, as it seems, does he just have a problem with Las Vegas? A dollar spent in Generic Tourist Trap, USA is as "lost" as a dollar spent in Vegas, right?

To counteract Obama's bias in this matter, I'd like to suggest reasons why people shouldn't spend their money in tourist destinations across the country. Because, you know, the two of us have equal influence among the citizenry.

In a tough global economy you need to keep your kids grounded in stark reality. Seriously, they don't need to think life is a never-ending parade lead by a giant, effeminate mouse.

Branson, Missouri
This town is responsible for the continued success of Andy Williams and Yakov Smirnoff. You know who likes Branson? Your annoying aunt, the one who collects Thomas Kinkade paintings and gave you a Sarah Palin commemorative plate for Christmas.

Southern California
Perfect weather, beautiful women...uh, what was my point again? Oh yeah...don't visit because they elected Ahnuld governor...TWICE!

New York City
On January 1, 2010, an important milestone occurred. It officially became acceptable to once again actively dislike New York. Yes, you heard it here first. These are the people who RUINED clam chowder; and the city has rats the size of Shetland Ponies.

It still is NOT acceptable to actively dislike New Orleans, so GO SAINTS!!!

Any ski lodge
Do you really want to hang out in an overpriced log cabin with a bunch of trust fund kids who listen to Vampire Weekend and have twenty different North Face jackets? You do? Eat shit.

Louisville, KY
People only come to Louisville for one reason: The Kentucky Derby. It's usually East Coast frat types who briefly turn our sleepy river town into an episode of Jersey Shore. Come if you will, but know this: We'll smile, turn our accents up a notch to patronize your condescending notion of "Southern Hospitality", and gladly take your money; but we hate you. Really, we hate your fucking guts. If you all die in our gutters we'll coldly sweep your collective remains into the Ohio River and you'll be replaced by a new group of assholes next year. Uh...I mean, "Come on back and see us, y'all!"


Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

"It still is NOT acceptable to actively dislike New Orleans, so GO SAINTS!!!"

LOVE it!

The rest is great too. I'm sure Obama means well, just a case of having to need a metaphor.

Blogger kate said...

Eeh...sorry, Mr. President. I spent a whole big pile of money getting married in Las Vegas last year and would do it all over again if I could. Having a vacation to look foward to is the only thing that makes going to a horrible job every day even slightly tolerable.

Blogger Eric Riback said...

Unfortunately, Obama isn't esplaining himself well. I'm sure he's referring to gambling, and as everyone else knows 1/ there are hundreds of places to gamble besides LV now and 2/many people go to LV and hardly if at all gamble; they're going there for glitz and restaurants these days.

Blogger Room Mom Helper said...

I think Branson is a brilliant substitute.

He could also say "the gambling 'boats' in Tunica, MS" but that might be too specific

(This is Ubie on a strange and foreign computer. My laptop is in the shop)

Blogger Scott said...

Vegas Mayor for life Oscar Goodman is PISSED:

Blogger country roads said...

I like to think of gambling as my retirement plan since my 401K has hit the shitter. What do you think of that Obama? ha!

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

The mayor's comments reminded me of the Family Guy episode where Lois is running for office and starts to do well when she replies "9/11" to every question.

Clearly, Obama was implying that people shouldn't be tempted to spend money they don't have on risky, wasteful ventures. He singled out Vegas, but he could have chosen any of a variety of personifications. Whoever it would have been would be mad over it, missing the point completely (deliberately or not).

Blogger Kenmeer livermaile said...

Manhattan-style clam chowder is very good, and I say that in the most conciliatory bipartisan spirit. Um... do I bend over or do you? This is new to me.

Blogger Kenmeer livermaile said...

P.S. My wife went to Vegas on a bizz trip last fall but also spent $400 we can't afford (due to crushing medical reasons even thought we have "good" insurance). But her (fortunately mild) gambling addiction of recent years, mostly brought on by all the stress of illness and medical expense and me not being able to work, was inspired by local Native American-run casinos, so I can't blame Vegas.

But I sure would like to have that $400 back even if we would just have spent it on silly Xmas shit. That way I could blame Santa Claus.

No matter, most states fund a decent chunk of their budget via something called "the Lottery", so Vegas is actually brilliantly ahead of the curve in that respect.

I hear Vegas has cockroaches the size of rats?

(I am being sarcastic and faux vitriolic because this is the blogosphere and that's what we do, right? And I sincerely mourn the economic decline of Vegas. Never been there myself but back in the day when I was a lost vagrant soul, Reno (and Vegas, I presume) were where a person could ALWAYS find work in the casino and eat for free, and the cops kept the streets safe enough you could sleep in a decent hedgerow with few worries.

Viva Las vegas!

Blogger ThatGirl said...

Thank you for not sending tourists to Chicago. summertime brings out the murderous rage in us who work on Michigan Avenue and have to squeeze past 14 European/Asian etc tourists walking side by side at a snails pace stopping dead to take a group photo on a narrow bridge....geez i hate those fuckers.

Blogger Kenmeer livermaile said...

Especially since, per what the media shows us, Chicago is nothing BUT the Michigan Avenue bridge. (I grew up in Albany Park.)

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