Friday, April 16, 2010
"That what you fear the most, could meet you halfway..."
Let's look into the future, shall we?

911 Call, November 3, 2011

Caller
"My house is on fire! Please...please send someone."

911 Operator
"Could I have your address, ma'am?"

Caller
"2368 Edmond Way."

911
"I have a truck headed there right now. Oh....wait a minute...."

Caller
"What? What?!"

911
"Says here you're a member of the Tea Party."

Caller
"How do you know....uh, what difference does it make? My house is burning down! Everything I own! My cat is in there!"

911
"Yeah, well Tea Party members are no longer eligible for 'socialist' services such as police, EMS, fire department, etc. We wouldn't want to compromise your deeply held beliefs."

Caller
"Is this some kind of a joke?"

911
"Well, I'm laughing on the inside, but I'm not joking. The government you hate so much is going to let your house burn to the ground."

Caller
"This is Obama's fault!"

911
"Oh, totally. It was his idea. And tomorrow he's going to fly in on Airforce One and personally take a piss on the charred remnants of your dwelling. Then he's going to put his black cock in your daughter and/or younger sister."

Caller
"WHAT THE..."

911
"Not really, I'm just playing on your worst fears. If he has time he might piss on your house, but he's not going to rape anyone."

Caller
"THIS IS BULLSHIT! I DEMAND YOU SEND SOMEONE TO PUT OUT THIS FIRE!!"

911
"Why don't you get Sarah Palin to help you out?"

(hangs up)

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7 Comments:

I'm of a mind that the whole teabagger thing is satire. Victoria Jackson as well.

I employ my own private fire fighting service.

can't. stop. giggling.

Blogger Laura said...

You should post this over at Free Republic- I bet they love satire. I will make the popcorn.

Blogger foundinidaho said...

Sadly, this might teach those idiots a lesson, to suspend those "socialist" programs they depend on - ambulance, fire, snowplows, garbage service...

Blogger Christine said...

On point, as usual. Awesome.

Blogger Lsamsa said...

Oh, I so want this to happen...well, the conversation, not the house burning down part.
These flag-wearing dolts need a wake-up call very very badly!!

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