Wednesday, June 01, 2005
The Blame Game
This should not be your blog of choice for political insight. The good folks at Virtual Pus are the ones you should turn to for an infotaining look at societal issues. Today I am going to write something political, but keep in mind I'm a grown man who only yesterday blogged about Lindsay Lohan. Take whatever I say with a pillar rather than a grain of salt.

The whole "George W. Bush as two-term president" thing has been bothering me, so I decided I'd feel better if I found a scapegoat, someone to blame for his ever being elected in the first place. It's obvious the culprits are those who voted for Ralph Nader in 2000, turning a close election in favor of Bush.

I knew a lot of people just like you, Naderhead. While the 2000 election was too close to call, as the right-wing fraud machine prepared to steal Al Gore's victory, you pranced around with the kind of self-congratulatory smugness that makes me want to choke a motherfucker. "I voted my conscience," you crowed as James Baker assembled his Army of Human Garbage to cornhole Al Gore back to the fucking Stone Age. "Bush and Gore are practically the same," you spat out as Clarence Uncle Thomas made sure his wife got a job with a Republican administration.

Of course, it's your right as an American to vote however you see fit. Go ahead and cast a posthumous vote for Abbie Hoffman in 2008 for all I care. But please sit down, open wide, and take your bitter medicine. The next time President Bush does something that goes so against everything you stand for, it makes your mortal soul want to gnaw its way out of your body like a sewer rat through a rotted piece of housing project plywood...just sit there and shut the fuck up. You have no god damn right to bitch-n-complain. When you voted for Nader in 2000 you lost all B-n-C privledges.

And while you're sitting in quiet despair keeping your worthless fucking cakehole shut for once in your over-pontificating life, take stock in what is now yours. It's your war; enjoy it. Enjoy your stagnant economy, your shitty environment, your reverse-Robin Hood tax cuts, and your blatant disregard for the separation of church and state. They're all yours now. You bought them with your cute little Nader vote. How can I blame the people who voted for Bush? They were all blinded by greed, brainwashed by fundamentalism, or handicapped by stupidity. You were supposed to be the intelligent one.

The future does not bode well, my friends. The Democrats recently chose Howard Dean as their party chairman. Howard Dean, like it or not, is a national laughingstock. Unfair? Of course; it's always unfair to reduce a man's life to a sound bite. But in the immortal words of The Mole, "What do you think this is, kid, tv kiddie hour where we all sit around and lick Barney the Dinosaur's fucking pussy, heh? This is real life with consequences you take to the grave." In other words, it might have been a good idea to pick someone people don't think is crazy. And as tempting as it may be to blame Fox News for Dean's image problem, I first saw footage of his "meltdown" on The Daily Show, hardly a conservative propaganda machine.

If any Naderite reads this I'm sure I'll receive in response an eloquent, well-worded, painstakingly researched pile of horseshit. Like I give a fuck what they think.


Blogger Steve Caratzas said...

Bravo! That's calling a spade a spade. (Pun not intended, but feel free.)

Blogger Cincysundevil said...

SWEET post!!!! I'm on board with you. I'm looking for a "Don't blame me, I voted for Kerry" sticker for my car. I just don't get how people will actually vote against their own self-interest. I tell ya, people are mindless sheep!

Blogger Egan said...

I think this is a good post man. I am amazed the people of this country thought Bush did such a tremendous job that he deserved to be re-elected. As I type there are 1251 days until the next presidential election, but who the fuck is counting? You can see I am a bit bitter too.

I actually do think Dean is a wise choice, but respect your opinion. I am tired of catering to the those on the fucking fence. Sure Dean has his faults, but there's plenty of time to grown and seems open to criticism. Wish Mr. Bush was open to it also. I hear George didn't like what was said about his little prison camp in Cuba.

Blogger Evil Petting Zoo said...

I thought you mentioned Abe Frohman the Sausage King of Chicago...but you said Abbie Hoffman. I would vote for Abe Frohman if he ran.

Blogger Harley Quinn said...

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you

Anonymous BEAST! said... blogger account, linked by friends blog


i think the REAL person you should blame for bush's second term is does someone choose between an incompetent moron who we know will let us down, or an incompetent moron that most likely will let us down but we hooooooope he doesn't??

would you rather know you're screwed and take it, or have the sadness of being letdown and it ending up being just as bad?

and egan..i don't think it's that people think he did a tremendous job, it's just, he was running against someone equally as bad

Blogger Julie said...

Amen!! you say it brother!! Sing it to the rafters!
I always post a bushism of the day. I just came up w/ 'my bush makes love not war' and want to make it into a bumper sticker... isn't that cleaver?

Blogger Ruben said...

Blunt, refreshing honesty. You know Bush's moronic ice queen hag wife plagued Chicago with her presence yesterday and some idiots were actually in favor of her running against Hiliary Clinton in the @008 elections and she might win. If this country was stupid enough to vote for her husband twice then they would definitely be dumb enough to vote for her as well.

Blogger bikipatra said...

Ruben so true. Her career as an elementary school teacher certainly qualifies her! (Coughing fit!)

Blogger Evil Petting Zoo said...

I still think Abe Frohman would make a great president.

Blogger Egan said...

Beast, "equally as bad"? Did you fucking watch the debates or did you catch the recap on Fox News ticker? Give me a break. Bush is the laughing stock of the world, but who really gives a shit right?

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