Sunday, May 22, 2005
You Can't Spell "Sucks" Without UK
In my native state of Kentucky, college basketball is a religion. I guess that's why, as a University of Louisville fan, I've always had a passionate hatred for University of Kentucky basketball.

The thing I miss least about Louisville is the sight of all of those UK car flags. I'd rather watch rats eat a baby than look at one of those fucking flags. I've said it before and I'll state it for the record here: The city of Louisville, to my knowledge the only city in Kentucky with paved roads, should be UK-fan free. All University of Kentucky fans should be forced, at gunpoint if necessary, to evacuate the Louisville Metro area.

I don't live there anymore, but remaining Louisville residents should demand their expulsion. How dare these treasonous ne'er-do-wells take advantage of Louisville's fine affordable restaurants, abundant drinking establishments, lovely parks, and other things I'm sure are great about the city but I can't recall right now; and at the same time badmouth the beloved Louisville Cardinals?

This is my FINAL SOLUTION, and we don't have to build concentration camps. They already exist in the form of towns with names like Pikeville and Hazard and Rineyville. Make the UK hillbillys live with their brethren in run-down little shitholes where the only place to find a decent job closed five years ago, everyone over forty-five is dead of black lung, all the teenage girls are pregnant with their own siblings, and the nearest place to buy liquor is a hundred miles away. Make them rot there until they come to their senses or hang themselves from boredom.

Also, to be a fan of college sports shouldn't you have at least seen the inside of a college?


Blogger katarina said...

Wow, how do you really feel?
If it's such a nice place, how come you moved? The flags?

Blogger Evil Petting Zoo said...

You do realize you ruined any chance you ever had to marry Ashley Judd right?

Blogger Ruben said...

This is similar to the way Chicago fans are divided between loving the Cubs and White- sox. I have actually seen bar brawls of this controversy.

Anonymous Chef Lil said...

How about the UL Flaggers who used to be UK flaggers but changed teams because their beloved Rick Pitino came to town. Those people should have to live out scenes from Deliverance for the resto of their natural born lives.

Blogger yournamehere said...

What up, Chef Lil? You should set up your own blogsite. The tales of your husband's flatulence would make a hell of a read. And you could post recipes.

If by some chance you aren't the Chef Lil I think you are, please disregard the flatulence remark.

Blogger PusBoy said...

I went to a Division II school in KY. Imagine how I feel! My school has no goddamned flags!

Blogger Cincysundevil said...

Wow .. in one post, you've summed up my feelings about Ohio State fans here in Ohio. Every fucking week, there is another player getting arrested or some alumni scandal and yet the local news acts as if they're victims of a vindictive press. Give me a fucking break ... I always tell my friends who are OSU fans "Ohio State, the best team money can buy." They don't like that one too much.

Anonymous tigerlily and bbstirrd said...

Love ya T, but we have to disagree(even tho we're Louisvillians too)...Rick's goin' down! ;)

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