By now everyone has been hit by those cocksucking spamholes. I don't allow anonymous comments and they bypassed that by creating fake blogger accounts. I now officially declare war on the spam sending stroke-offs!
Hey, I'm an American; I'm used to corporate whores sponge-bathing their diseased cooters with the things I love. This blog-spam, however, goes too far. As my friend Alisha put it, "It's like someone putting their bumper sticker on your car." These blogs are our creative outlets. Some people write eloquent essays, post magnificent poetry, display gorgeous photographs. This blog is just a guy rambling about stupid people, bowel movements, and girls kissing; but it's MINE, goddammit. I take the time to post this meaningless shit and I should be able to decide whether or not I want someone's ad in MY comments section.
What really pisses me off is they try to hide their true intentions, but they do so poor a job of it as to insult our intelligence. It usually looks something like this:
jizzbucket corporate slurp says:
Wow, I really like your blog! I'm definitely adding a link to my site. Do your armpits smell like someone gutted a trout and filled the carcass with septic tank floaties? If so, try an amazing new deodorant at stinkyfuck.blogspot.com.
Am I supposed to read this intrusion and exclaim, "Hot fuckin' damn, jizzbucket corporate slurp likes my blog!"? Is that the reaction they're aiming for? "Since the jizz man likes my blog, I'll buy his useless products. No one who likes my blog is capable of dishonesty." Fuck them.
I hereby wish the following on the spammers: I hope they get bloody anal warts. I want their children to develop heroin addictions and take to servicing strangers in abandoned buildings for spare change. I want them to accidentally shit their pants every time they sneeze. I pray to god they live useless, uncelebrated lives and die painful, unmourned deaths. Is that asking too much?
Hey, I'm an American; I'm used to corporate whores sponge-bathing their diseased cooters with the things I love. This blog-spam, however, goes too far. As my friend Alisha put it, "It's like someone putting their bumper sticker on your car." These blogs are our creative outlets. Some people write eloquent essays, post magnificent poetry, display gorgeous photographs. This blog is just a guy rambling about stupid people, bowel movements, and girls kissing; but it's MINE, goddammit. I take the time to post this meaningless shit and I should be able to decide whether or not I want someone's ad in MY comments section.
What really pisses me off is they try to hide their true intentions, but they do so poor a job of it as to insult our intelligence. It usually looks something like this:
jizzbucket corporate slurp says:
Wow, I really like your blog! I'm definitely adding a link to my site. Do your armpits smell like someone gutted a trout and filled the carcass with septic tank floaties? If so, try an amazing new deodorant at stinkyfuck.blogspot.com.
Am I supposed to read this intrusion and exclaim, "Hot fuckin' damn, jizzbucket corporate slurp likes my blog!"? Is that the reaction they're aiming for? "Since the jizz man likes my blog, I'll buy his useless products. No one who likes my blog is capable of dishonesty." Fuck them.
I hereby wish the following on the spammers: I hope they get bloody anal warts. I want their children to develop heroin addictions and take to servicing strangers in abandoned buildings for spare change. I want them to accidentally shit their pants every time they sneeze. I pray to god they live useless, uncelebrated lives and die painful, unmourned deaths. Is that asking too much?
7 Comments:
Yay! I'm first. It's all about being your first baby. Now what were you saying? Oh yeah, blog-spammers and anal warts. Hmm, yeah, those two go together.
Thanks for the laugh sweet pea and keep it coming...the laughs, not the jizzbucket.
(I'm on the VIP list? I love you man, I really love you!)
Me first!!!
I felt the same way you did when it first started. But I now have chosen to make the most of the situation. I take these opportunities to utilize my potty mouth and curse the spammers out in my commentes - and then I delete them. It's actually quite satisfying. Try it.
Dammit Rachel! I thought I was first!
Great minds think alike on blogging re: spamming . . .
How/why/where do those dastardly spammers do this? Clearly deep within the bowels of their headquarters next to the Hall of Justice.
Hearty agreement and applause.
Have you considered doing the word verification blogger offers for comments?
I hear it's supposed to cut down on spam.
Blogger hates spammers, too.
Totally feeling you on this topic!!!
I added the word verification and it has worked wonders! LOVE IT!
I was getting like 10 spam comments on one post!! How effed up is that BS?
bleeding anal warts isn't good enough for them! They need bleeding anal warts to break out on every inch of their body! LOL !
Post a Comment
<< Home