Sunday, August 07, 2005
I am fucking drunk
I drank enough bourbon tonight to make Willie Nelson piss in three different directions at the same time. And now I'm drinking beer. Here are some incoherent ramblings based on what I've experienced on this trip thus far:

According to a tourist guide I picked up in the airport {Louisville has tourists?) ninety percent of the country's disco balls are made right here in Louisville. First of all, who are these interloping mother fuckers making the other ten percent? Get off of our turf, fucknuts. Also, is there really a market for disco balls? Do they sell them to VFW posts and bad high school prom committees?

I was at a bar tonight and the band had a one-legged guitarist. They used his removed titanium leg as a tip jar. Swear to God.

I haven't been on the right side of town to see mullets. I'll have to look for some tomorrow.

After we left the bar we ate at a place called LaBamba's whose slogan is "Burritos as Big as Your Head." The place is open from 11am till 5am and I think it's only one shift. Those are some hard working mother fuckers.

Really, once you turn thirty you should lose the high school class ring.

I see three keyboards right now but I'm aiming for the one in the middle.

I'm at my friends Dave and Alisha's house typing this. It's Alisha's birthday. She's as drunk as I am, but she's too smart to try to blog in this condition.

I've been driving my mom's Rav 4 around town. My knees touch my chin in this car. That's safe to drive, right?

All right, despite heavy competition this is my worst post ever. See you guys on Tuesday.


21 Comments:

Blogger Jason said...

I just got home from the DrunkFest, and realised that my button-flys are Un-Button-Flys. Now, I'm curious exactly when and how that happened. I'm also happy that I wasn't in charge of the drive home.

Blogger kevin said...

nice blog, dude :)

Blogger Rachel said...

Sounds like a good time is being had by all darlin', you deserve it.

Hope you will be up for hitting the town with us in October when we roadtrip to Vegas. I don't think I'm going to be hitting it that hard though.

Have fun, be safe (kinda like to keep you around if that's ok).

Blogger katarina said...

Wow, for as drunk as you claim to be, I understood all of that.

I took off my class ring the day I graduated.

"Get off of our turf, fucknuts." This made me laugh very loud.

Please find the mullets. Take pictures.

Can you shift gears when you're in the shape of a dough ball?

Blogger Steve Caratzas said...

Why is the mullet so maligned?

Blogger Kris said...

Why is everybody so mothergrubbing funny today?

Come on, give yourself some credit here: "I drank enough bourbon tonight to make Willie Nelson piss in three different directions at the same time." THAT'S FUNNY.

sounds like someone is having a great time!

have fun and be safe :)

Blogger Murphy said...

la bamba is the bane of my existance.

mostly because it's open when i'm at my weakest and because the dudes who work it always end up making fun of me because i got confused about whether i ordered one or nine.

Blogger Blonde said...

I love you drunk posting!

Enjoy your trip home.

Get some mullet pics for me...love mullets!

Blogger EEK! said...

Thought about going to the Heart of Fire Church today.

Went to the liquor store instead.

I think they instituted the Sunday Sales this weekend in your honor.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

Your blog is a trip to read.

Blogger spoonfed said...

no really...lets get married....

Blogger Kristine said...

Hrm, this sounds a lot like my weekend in Nashville...

Blogger JJ said...

If you get a chance when you are on the right side of town, try to revive my custom made epithet "Peckermullet!" if you get a chance.

Thanks.

You're the best drunken speller I've ever seen.

Blogger Crystal said...

Omigod I used to love eating at LaBamba's back when I was at college! It's so funny that you mention that slogan--"Burritos as Big as Your Head"-- because just last night when I was uploading my digipics from the weekend to post to my blog, I said to my husband "Should I leave off the one of me in the bikini? My boobs look as big as my head!" ;-) You see, I gained about 8 lbs last Spring, and it all got deposited in the "wrong" place.

Blogger Ruben said...

I had such a bad hangover about a month ago that even reading about someone drinking makes my head hurt.

Blogger n.v. said...

Miss you, Todderick!

Blogger MoDigli said...

Wow! What a trip! .... best part had to be the fake leg tip jar! LMAO!

Blogger Rachel said...

eway too much to drink tonightw

Blogger im here somewhere said...

i actually think this is quite funny. pictures of mullets wouldve been a nice touch though.

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