The very lovely independent girl tagged me (I wish), so I am now contractually obligated to answer questions. Indie is another recent edition to my VIP list, but she falls under the "Hot Chick" category rather than the "Handed the doorman a fifty" category. The first question is a doosey.
1. What is the ratio of sexy panties to granny panties currently in your possession?
I can see why she immediately thought of me after reading this question. Okay, I'll assume boxer shorts are the male equivalent of granny panties. I own absolutely no ball hugging banana hammocks. In fact, I am forbidden to own them under federal law. I own about ten or so pairs of boxer shorts. There you go, I've once again embarrassed myself for the amusement of a small handful of people.
2. Pretend you won one of those "Make your dream come true" deals that Oprah is always giving away. What would you ask for?
I'd ask for a new car and the money to have it registered and licensed. Then I'd get Dr. Phil's home address so I could go hit him in the face with a shovel.
3. Describe your high school days in one word.
Tragicomic.
4. If you could shag any celebrity in the world, who would be your top three picks?
Man, I really have to think about number one...Jessica Alba! Number two would be Eva Mendes, and number three would be Lois Griffin. At least I'm not as fat as her husband.
5. If you had all the money in the world, more than you could ever spend in four lifetimes, would you eat some?
Just when I thought the panties question was the dumbest inquiry ever, along comes this gem. I assume by "eat some" they mean eat some money. No, I would not consume currency just because I had a lot of it. I take a lot of craps, but I've somehow restrained myself from eating shit.
6. Tag three people.
Big Willy, Whoreforrent, and Cap'n Molesto, get to work.
1. What is the ratio of sexy panties to granny panties currently in your possession?
I can see why she immediately thought of me after reading this question. Okay, I'll assume boxer shorts are the male equivalent of granny panties. I own absolutely no ball hugging banana hammocks. In fact, I am forbidden to own them under federal law. I own about ten or so pairs of boxer shorts. There you go, I've once again embarrassed myself for the amusement of a small handful of people.
2. Pretend you won one of those "Make your dream come true" deals that Oprah is always giving away. What would you ask for?
I'd ask for a new car and the money to have it registered and licensed. Then I'd get Dr. Phil's home address so I could go hit him in the face with a shovel.
3. Describe your high school days in one word.
Tragicomic.
4. If you could shag any celebrity in the world, who would be your top three picks?
Man, I really have to think about number one...Jessica Alba! Number two would be Eva Mendes, and number three would be Lois Griffin. At least I'm not as fat as her husband.
5. If you had all the money in the world, more than you could ever spend in four lifetimes, would you eat some?
Just when I thought the panties question was the dumbest inquiry ever, along comes this gem. I assume by "eat some" they mean eat some money. No, I would not consume currency just because I had a lot of it. I take a lot of craps, but I've somehow restrained myself from eating shit.
6. Tag three people.
Big Willy, Whoreforrent, and Cap'n Molesto, get to work.
8 Comments:
Oh man, boxers are the male equivalent of granny panties? Then granny panties have suddenly been elevated to SEXY AS HELL!
Boxers all the way hon, please don't ever wear anything else.
You only own 10 pairs of underwear?
Yeah, I only own ten pair of underwear. I think that's enough. When I wear more than one pair at a time, they tend to make my balls sweat.
I'm with Rachel...never stray from the boxers. Banana hammocks are the devil's spawn.
Like the eating shit metaphor. Very appropo.
Boxers are sexy. So is hitting Dr. Phil with a shovel. Make sure his son gets a couple of shots too.
boxers are much more sexier than nuthuggers, altho those calvin klein models are hot...but gay....but they are still hot...
Hitting Dr. Phil with a shovel is sexy.
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