Sunday, October 30, 2005
"With a Shiver in My Bones Just Thinking About the Weather"
The other day it was nice and sunny and about 80 degrees and someone said, "I wish the weather was like this all year." I agreed, because believe it or not I sometimes like to be agreeable, but as I gave the sentiment more thought, I decided I'd rather not have it sunny and perfect every day of the year. How boring would that be?

For one thing, I believe most of the people with the blinding senses of entitlement who make my every waking moment almost god damn unbearable moved here from a "perfect weather" climate. They grew up thinking that every aspect of their lives should always be flawless. "How the fuck did these peons run out of veal?" " Why do I have to obey traffic laws? I'M LATE." I think there's something about never being physically uncomfortable that brings out the worst in people.

Jesus, can you imagine how many fucknads would move to Las Vegas if it was eighty degrees year-'round? I think the three months of one-hundred-plus temperatures scares off some of my potential future irritants. Otherwise, twice as many douchebags from all over would flock here and further test our out-of-date-roads, crumbling infrastructure, and underfunded public services. I shudder to think of the crowd at the Henderson DMV. Give me a second to compose myself...it's that horrible an image.

I used to love October back home. October is just another month here. I'm grateful that the hot weather is gone, but does lack of a negative really equal a positive? I miss seeing the leaves change color and feel the crisp coolness in the air; I miss drinking hot cider at the St. James Art Fair; I miss Alisha's and Dave's Halloween party; and I really miss being able to wear a jacket to help mask my unsightly physique. I guess if I had an extra five-hundred dollars burning a hole in my pocket I could attend a massive Halloween bash along the lines of The Annual Pimp Show, Monster-Truck Rally, and Whore Auction. Of course, I'd be going BY MYSELF, but that's another problem for another post.

Damn, a post about the weather turned into another self-loathing diatribe. These are so much better when I write them out first.

Update: I just got back from a Halloween party. I was invited by local blog friends Shannon and Claudia. That's Shannon of Shannonosphere fame, not Shannon/Shaken. Shaken actually went to some big deal Body English shindig and didn't bother inviting me. I had a good time at the party but since I drove I took it easy on the booze.


29 Comments:

Blogger Egan said...

Agreed Todd. I love seasons. They aren't as pronounced here in Seattle as say the Northeast, but still love the foggy crisp mornings. Places like San Diego and Maui are nice for vacations because the weather's fairly reliable.... but I love the rain too much to give it up.

I have a Jack Handy book for you.

Blogger Ruben said...

Weather and seasons aren't that big of a deal in Chicago; we've accepted seasons:heat stroke, frost bite and construction.

Blogger The real me said...

4 seasons?
Take them and shove them.

Don't know where you're from originally, Toddles (can I still get away with that? hee hee), but here in the Northeast, it rained for 13 straight days.

Welcome to autumn.

Blogger Rachel said...

If I had known you were taking invitations for weekend plans I would have thrown my hat in the ring.

Love all the seasons in Montana except bitter fucking cold. ;)

Love you though!

Blogger Shannon said...

Hope you had fun at the party, Todd!

I love fall, even here in Vegas, but I do miss the chilly crisp in the air, jumping into piles of freshly raked leaves, and the way the dirt mixes with water to create the most delightful mud.

Blogger yournamehere said...

egan,
a Jack Handy book, eh? Cool.

ruben,
I only miss fall. Winter sucks, and I know Chicago winters are brutal.

real,
thirteen days of rain builds character.

rachel,
you have an open invitation to visit anytime.

shannon,
yes, I had a good time at the party. Thanks for the invite. Whenever I miss mud, I just go to a bar that features mud wrestling.

Blogger Blonde said...

I want to move to Vegas so bad.

We went straight from an ungodly hot summer to nipple hardening winter. Next we will face one of many blizzards. Mother Nature is a vindicitve cunt!

I will be in Vegas in 40 days, Todd! WOO HOO!

Glad you had fun at your party!

Blogger Blonde said...

10,000 Maniacs line for the title?!?!

Blogger yournamehere said...

blonde,
Kurt Cobain once said "Nature is a whore", but I like "Mother Nature is a vindictive cunt" much better.

And yes, that is a 10,000 Maniacs line. Gold star for you!

Blogger Brookelina said...

Todd - I completely agree with your point about people who live in year round good weather. It's as if they have an altered - and obnoxious - view of reality.
It's time for the both of us to move on to places where weather actually changes according to season. Either that or we start hurting people.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Your night beats mine; I studied and did some knitting.

aww, I'm sorry, you totally could have come, but somehow, from reading your blog, I got the feeling that Body English wouldn't exactly be your cup of tea, but I was an ass in assuming that, so I apologize.

You didn't miss too much. Christina was whorin' it up, making out with her fiance pretty much all night, and I was stationed by the bar doing shots of patron between ass shakings on the dance floor.

That place was fucking packed.

Blogger yournamehere said...

brooke,
I think we should move to places where weather changes according to season AND start hurting people.

pants,
if you knitted a sack in which to house the severed head of Karl Rove, that would be pretty cool.

shaken,
I was just kidding. You don't owe me any invites. I've never been to Body English and would like to see it sometimes, but you were right in assuming I didn't actually want to go to Christina's shindig.

I was at Light once and it was so crowded short people couldn't get enough air and were passing out. I was drunk and kept screaming, "Doesn't this town have a fire marshall, for fuck's sake?"

Body English is actually my favorite club in town. And I've been to them all. I used to be a regular at Baby's and I was really sad about the rennovation, but it's quite awesome. I highly recommend checking it out. I just hate the production of going to clubs, I'm too old for this shit.

lol, the one and only time I ever went to Light, Mario Lopez was sitting at the table next to us and I yelped "SLATER!" He's awfully short in person, I wonder if they had oxygen on hand for him nearby.

Blogger Calzone said...

Okay..did you say "I miss drinking hot cider at the St. James art fair"? Is this Oscar Wildes' blog?

(I mean it...you can shit on me. we're cool now)

Blogger yournamehere said...

shaken,
isn't Slater married to Ali Landry? Christ, she's hot.

calzone,
When I read "Is this Oscar Wilde's blog?" I actually spit water all over my computer, so I'll have to insult you at a later date.

Seriously, cider is tasty. Also, a bit of chicory improves the taste of a cup of coffee.

He was for about a week, and then the ass cheated on her and she divorced him. Who cheats on Ali Landry?

I just realized, I'm one of those people that always says "I wish the weather would stay like this all year around." I'm sorry. It really is delightful out lately though.

Blogger Brookelina said...

I like that plan! Can we use nunchucks? I've always wanted to use nunchucks. I had to google them to figure out the spelling. I always thought they were nuMchucks. Did nuns invent nunchucks?

What was I saying?

Blogger yournamehere said...

shaken,
don't apologize because I like things cold and dreary.

brooke,
have you been drinking?

Blogger Nick said...

Isn't she always?

Blogger katarina said...

Hot and sunny everyday.
You are incredibly close to Arizona Bay.

This morning it's 33 degrees. This afternoon it's supposed to be 70. It's confusing. How do you dress? Do you wear a winter coat? A jacket? Nothing? It's too much stress...
Actually, I love this time of year. It gives me a warm happy feeling.

Blogger Livia said...

Hey Todd email me I cant find your email address on your site.

Blogger MsHellion said...

How much wood could a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck wood?

Blogger Princess Steph said...

sigh - oh todd.....

Blogger Cladeedah said...

It was cool having you at the party Todd! It would have been even cooler if you'd actually worn a costume!! I'm telling you, you could totally pull off Vegas tourist. Anyway, see you at the next one..

Blogger Kris said...

I love the seasons. It would be nice to see Jessica Alba covered only in orange and red leaves.


I knew that one would get you.

Blogger ETaylor said...

Who goes to a Halloween party and doesnt wear a costume?

Blogger yournamehere said...

Nick,
an intervention might be in order.

kat,
warm, happy feelings are good.

livi,
the emails on the way.

mshellion,
I believe the correct answer is "a cord. A cord of wood."

Blogger yournamehere said...

steph,
Was that a sigh of admiration?

claudia,
My costume was "Socially awkward party-goer".

kris,
I'm at Home Depot buying a leaf blower.

etaylor,
I was going as "Peter, Pumpkin Eater" but I couldn't find a lady to go as "Pumpkin".

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