Let's Play a Game With the Voices in My Head

The voices in my head were annoying me, so I tried to distract them by playing a game of $25,000 Pyramid. One of the voices gave the clues, the other had to answer. The answers, both correct and incorrect, are in red. I'll denote a correct answer with (ding).

Category One

"Rush Limbaugh, George Bush,.."

"Republicans."

"Jason Mraz, Jimmy Fallon,.."

"People who need to be hit in the face with a shovel."

"Karl Rove,.."

"People who'll taste the murky jizz of Beelezebub for all eternity." (ding).

Category Two

"Eva Mendes, Jessica Alba,.."

"Women who have restraining orders against me." (ding).

Category Three

"Lazy eye, club foot,.."

"People with disabilities."

"Low self-esteem, fear of intimacy, hatred of men in general,.."

"Common characteristics of women who are interested in me." (ding).

Category Four

"Entire large pizzas, whole pies, fifths of bourbon,.."

"Things I've consumed in one sitting while sobbing into a couch cushion." (ding).

Category Five

"'He had a lousy attitude', 'he was always late',.."

"What an employer might say."

"He set up a hidden camera in the ladies room,.."

"What my former employer might say." (ding).

Category Six -This is for the big money.

"Stupid, unnecessary,.."

"What people say about the Iraqi war."

"Pointless, unfunny,.."

"What readers will say about this post." (ding).

With that, the voices in my head celebrated. I had won 25 grand in nonexistent funds. Right now, in my mind, I'm totally buying a new car. Victory is sweet.