Monday, October 17, 2005
Let's Play a Game With the Voices in My Head
The voices in my head were annoying me, so I tried to distract them by playing a game of $25,000 Pyramid. One of the voices gave the clues, the other had to answer. The answers, both correct and incorrect, are in red. I'll denote a correct answer with (ding).

Category One

"Rush Limbaugh, George Bush,.."

"Republicans."

"Jason Mraz, Jimmy Fallon,.."

"People who need to be hit in the face with a shovel."

"Karl Rove,.."

"People who'll taste the murky jizz of Beelezebub for all eternity." (ding).

Category Two

"Eva Mendes, Jessica Alba,.."

"Women who have restraining orders against me." (ding).

Category Three

"Lazy eye, club foot,.."

"People with disabilities."

"Low self-esteem, fear of intimacy, hatred of men in general,.."

"Common characteristics of women who are interested in me." (ding).

Category Four

"Entire large pizzas, whole pies, fifths of bourbon,.."

"Things I've consumed in one sitting while sobbing into a couch cushion." (ding).

Category Five

"'He had a lousy attitude', 'he was always late',.."

"What an employer might say."

"He set up a hidden camera in the ladies room,.."

"What my former employer might say." (ding).

Category Six -This is for the big money.

"Stupid, unnecessary,.."

"What people say about the Iraqi war."

"Pointless, unfunny,.."

"What readers will say about this post." (ding).

With that, the voices in my head celebrated. I had won 25 grand in nonexistent funds. Right now, in my mind, I'm totally buying a new car. Victory is sweet.


26 Comments:

Blogger Princess Steph said...

Victory is ever so sweet.

"Eva Mendes, Jessica Alba,.."

"Women who have restraining orders against me." (ding).

Ha!!!

That Jason Mraz really is just a total douche.

Blogger Egan said...

Shaken & Todd, I couldn't agree with you more about Mraz-matazz. That Mendes chica is quite nice on the eyes too. What's Wink Martindale up to these days?

Blogger Nick said...

I was sure that Catergory Number Two was "Ponies I would fuck the saddles off of."

Blogger Kath said...

Curious...if you were to buy a new car, what make and model would you buy? Let's say money is no object!

Blogger The real me said...

If you're living the fantasy, why not buy a convertible and ride around with Jessica and Eva?

Dream big!

Blogger yournamehere said...

Steph,
"Eva Mendes, Jessica Alba, Princess Steph,"

"Chicks who are hot." (ding).

shaken,
I hate the way he wears his hat. And you are also hot.

egan,
Wink Martindale built my hot rod.

nick,
even the voices in my head know that's never gonna happen.

kath,
I hate flashy cars. I would buy a fully-loaded Accord or Camry, swear to God.

real,
the voices in my head have self-esteem issues.

Blogger Rachel said...

Todd, can I play?




with you I mean.

Blogger Brookelina said...

Will you please tell the voices in your head to stop talking to the voices in my head? It's very distracting, Besides, I'm not at all into Jessica Alba.

seriously, his hat might as well just say "I'm Jason Mraz, and I'm a douchewrap"

and thanks, ffs.

Blogger Nick said...

Is that bird flipping me off, where's my shotgun?

Blogger yournamehere said...

rachel,
oh my god, yes.

brooke,
sorry. The voices in my head think the voices in your head sound sexy.

shaken,
He thinks he's "street" or something. It's so pathetic. He's such a psuedo-gangsta I'll bet he went to Green Valley High.

Nick,
if you shot everyone who gave you the finger you'd kill more people than Hitler.

My bets were on Bishop Gormon.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

You're so cute.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

I like the Jason Mraz is a douche theme. He is such a fucktard.

Best of luck on the imaginary car. My imaginary husband (and imaginary baby) and I are car shopping right now. He keeps insisting we buy a mini van but I refuse to be seen in one, even if it is imaginary. I'd sooner sport a scooter.

Blogger katarina said...

My imaginary husband's job transferred him to another state. I say, "Bye-Bye!"

Nick's killing me. You guys should have a joint blog.
Not that kind of joint.

Blogger aughra said...

No, no, no, that was awesome!

When I read the dings I kept thinking of Groundhog Day. Bing!

Blogger MollyNormal said...

What exactly does the murky jizz of Beelezebub taste like? I heard it was kind of chalky.

Blogger The DogGrrrrl said...

I think I love you. If I didnt have such low self esteem and more confidence, I'd know for sure.

Blogger Kris said...

Brooke - how can you not LOVE the Alba? I'll give everyone the Mraz thing, but Alba? Smokin'.

Blogger Brookelina said...

I googled Jason Mraz and I still don't know who he is.

Blogger yournamehere said...

shaken,
I used to work near Green Valley High. Every day looked like an open casting call for an Eminem video.

ubermilf,
(Using best 'Rudolph wearing a false nose' voice): "She thinks I'm cute. She thinks I'm cuuuuute."

m.p.,
will you pretend to cheat on your imaginary husband with me?

kat,
you can't even get along with an imaginary husband? You ARE the perfect girl for me.

aughra,
I love Groundhog Day, especially when he punches the insurance salesman.

Blogger yournamehere said...

mollyn.,
I hope I never find out.

doggrrrrl,
If you have low self-esteem, we would be perfect for one another.

kris,
I didn't think I could be any more in awe of you, but now that I know you love the Alba...

brooke,
I wish I didn't about him.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

As long as it's imaginary.

Blogger yournamehere said...

Ms. pants,
yeah, too late. I've already pretended to dump you for another imaginary woman.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Story of my life.

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