Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Yeah, he needs the publicity
Every once in a while I'll check out Blogger's "Blogs of Note". I don't know why I do it; Waiter Rant is the only one I've actually liked. The other day, though, I came across one entitled Boy Who Heard Music. The title intriqued me, so I went to the site.

The author of said blog is a guy named Pete Townshend, who happens to be lead guitarist and primary songwriter for an up-and-coming band called The Who. Yes, rock legend Pete Townshend has his own blog. He's my second favorite member of The Who, behind John Entwhisle, who died at the Hard Rock Hotel here in Vegas while snorting coke off a prostitute' s tits. I want to go that way, only replace "snorting coke" with "eating pizza" and "prostitute" with "two prostitutes".

My belabored point being, why does Blogger feel inclined to give Pete Townshend's blog free publicity? He should take out a full page ad in Billboard magazine if he wants people to read his vanity project. In the meantime, MY vanity project languishes in relative obscurity. I want to be a blog of note, damn it. I want legions of lemmings to flock to my musings, not because they think it's funny and understand my sense of humor, but because they were told it's the cool thing to do. That's when you know you've made it in Blogville, USA; when people come to your work thinking if they don't love it there must be something wrong with them. Personally, I think those who don't like my blog are a bunch of humorless Corkys, but that's a subjective opinion.

Someone asked me: "Todd, would fame and wealth change you?" Well, yes and no. Fame wouldn't change me at all. If a million people praise me and one criticizes me, I'll believe the lone critic; that's just the way I am. Money, on the other hand, would turn me into a Trump-like scrote. Hell, back in college I'd act like a prick when my student loan check cleared. I'd refer to myself in the third person: "Todd will supersize that Big Mac combo meal. Extra fries for Todd, knave. Apple pies for everyone, courtesy of Todd." I'd go through that money so fast I'd be selling my plasma by the time mid-terms came around.

I gave up on fame and fortune a hell of a long time ago; I don't even think happiness is obtainable at this point. All I ask for is a "Blog of Note" shout out, and they give it to a multi-millionaire rock god who sees more pussy than a vet with a "No Dog's Allowed" policy.

*******
NOTE: My friend Amie has written a story in which I'm portrayed as a drunken ass. It's probably true, I don't remember most of the night. Anyway, I heartily endorse this true story that casts me in a bad light. I tried to link to the story like a real blogger would, but it failed miserably. Go to screamingargonauts.blogspot.com.


36 Comments:

Blogger Sindy said...

I love this! Im first! And I think you are entirely "blog of the day" material for sure.. I dig ya!;o)

Blogger katarina said...

Your blog is certainly NOT obscure. You have more comment whores than I would know what to do with.
You're popular. Face it, dammit.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

I slavishly lap at the toilet bowl of your wit.

I will be your lemming; lead me where you will.

Blogger The real me said...

I want to be a blog of note, damn it. I want legions of lemmings to flock to my musings, not because they think it's funny and understand my sense of humor, but because they were told it's the cool thing to do.

GET IN LINE, TODD!

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Fuck Blogs of Note, have you checked your Technorati ranking?!

Blogger yournamehere said...

cindy,
Well, I dig you, too. Thanks for the compliment.

kat,
I said "relatively" obscure. Actually, I couldn't handle the pressure of real popularity, but I want the opportunity to crash and burn.

milf,
your vivid imagery both disgusts me and makes me horny.

real me,
did I strike a nerve?

ms. pants,
I'm 23,000 and something. I'll need a giant foam hand with a hell of a lot of fingers. Most of those links are people who've grown tired of me and never comment on my blog anymore.

Blogger Nick said...

Can I, henceforth, call you "My Foul-Mouthed Jessica Tandy"?

I think blogger is just afraid of advertising blogs like this one and the ever-awesome Sacrelicious. They can't handle the sheer vulgarity of it. Buncha pussies, if you ask me.

The Who rules.

Blogger Blonde said...

You are one of my favorite bloggers and I will give you a shout anytime you want on mine!

I wouldn't want to be one of those "Blogs of Note" only because I have been fucking flagged by people who keep hitting the next button to read the next blog. You don't like me, then go to the next blog cunts! I didn't exactly invite them there! Those nasty twats can shrivel up and die, I tell you!

Blogger WhiteBoyBob said...

Whoooooo are you? Who, who, who, who!

Sorry came over all CSI just then,

Awesome blog man and keep up the good work. One request. More fucking swearing please!

Blogger WhiteBoyBob said...

The I laughed because i said "came all over"

Blogger The DogGrrrrl said...

Blogging is #376 on the What Gets You Pussy list. Up from #583 in 2003.

You have a lot of chicks diggin you here... the hell with Pete. His balls are down to his knees by now any way. Ecch.

Blogger Crystal said...

Todd,

We need to collaborate on one blog, post-haste. Then we double our chances of some pimply kid in Goose Taint, Idaho, starting a fan club in our honor.

Blogger Egan said...

Todd, your blogs sucks ass man! As if you could ever get on the Blogs of Note list.

Seriously, that list is for meatheaded blogs which need publicity to increase their readership. Fuck them. Word of mouth advertising is the best and most lasting type of customer. Therefore the most loyal. Don't believe the hype.

Oh man, I used to do that with my student loans too. Boy am I ever regretting that now when I pay my monthly student loan payment.

Blogger Nick said...

goose taint! Ha!

Blogger Egan said...

Sorry, I was obviously listening to Public Enemy this morning.

Shaken - I did the same thing with my student loans. I think I used some it for a down payment on a car once.

Blogger Lulu said...

I want to be a blog of note, too. If your checking those out though, you should check out the one by the med student. The links take you to some pretty special pictures.

Blogger Egan said...

Crapola Todd, I just looked at the list of Blogs of Note and I have to take back my disparaging remarks. Amanda UnBoomed in on there and she's hella clever. Funny, smart, and rather hot. www.rocketboom.com rules.

Blogger MollyNormal said...

Just thought you might like to know that you are on my shitlist.

Blogger Brookelina said...

Yeah, you're on my shitlist too!

Blogger yournamehere said...

nick,
I should have gone with my original blog title, "Puppy Dogs and Butterflies".

blonde,
you're a great blogger and whoever flags you should eat shit in hell.

bob,
no one's ever asked me to swear more.

doggrrrl,
inexpicably, I do have a lot of great female readers, and I love them all.

canoworms,
the question remains, can we convince the kid from Idaho to do our evil bidding?

Blogger yournamehere said...

egan,
I was going to post a list of people who used to read my blog but now don't, and ask them what's up, but if they don't read my blog they'll never see it.

shaken,
I'm old, so my student loan is paid off.

nick,
the word taint is wonderous.

egan,
I bought a lot of useless junk with my student loan.

Blogger WhiteBoyBob said...

Doooo it. Peter Griffi would be proud.

Ass!

Blogger yournamehere said...

lipstick,
I don't know if I can handle gross photos today.

egan,
I'll have to check it out.

mollyn.,
and by "shitlist", you mean list of guys you think are the shit, right?

brooke,
bandwagon jumper!!

Blogger Brookelina said...

I'm breaking up with you. You never come see me anymore. And tell JJ I'm breaking up with him too.

Blogger The real me said...

Brooke's a greedy slut!
Andy Dick, Donald Trump et al... and now she wants JJ and Todd too?

Bitch!

No dear, you didn't hit a nerve, but do you think you're the only one with visions of grandeur?

Blogger yournamehere said...

bob,
Peter Griffin doesn't like me. He thinks my profile pic exploits his son.

Brooke,
Please don't dump me. I've been dumped enough in the real world without the blogger world following suit.

Blogger yournamehere said...

real,
thanks for lumping me in with Trump and Andy Dick.

I'm putty in Brooke's hand, and she knows this.

Blogger Brookelina said...

Todd - you're forgiven. And now you can have JJ's Tuesday and Thursday nights too.

And don't worry about TRM - she and I are always competing over men.

Blogger tango jellybean said...

Todd, you are my sunshine. I wasn't going so much for the "Giant Ass" effect as illuminating how one really does not want to receive a tongue-lashing from you. Heehee. I said tongue-lashing.

Blogger Nick said...

Lump, Trump and Dick should be the name of a band.

Blogger Girl With An Alibi said...

Well I've only been to your blog a couple times and I don't I've ever commented but I see your comments all over the place. I definitely consider you a "Blog Commentor of Note." Does that work for ya?

Blogger FRITZ said...

Well, I CERTAINLY think your blog is one of note! And it appears to me that Bloggy Popularity has more to do with QUANTITY, not necessarily QUALITY. Which is what I tell myself all the time.

Either that, or you have a blog of quality while I simply have a blog of...tedium.

Blogger The real me said...

Always the competitor, seldom the victor... poor Brooke!

And Todd, don't ignore my tag!

Blogger The real me said...

PS What do I gotta do to get on your roll?

Oh wait a sec... don't answer that.

Blogger The Blah Brain said...

Hey, nice blog you've got here. :)

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