I just read Nick's post about his high school reunion. It was a memorable entry because Nick had a positive experience, and Nick has a positive experience about as often as I have a sensible meal.
However, it didn't make me ever want to go to a high school reunion. I've avoided my various high school reunions the way Paris Hilton avoids not sucking cock when a camera's rolling. I have no interest in seeing anyone from high school, even the people I was friends with back in the day. We obviously weren't good friends or I'd have heard from them in the past century or so.
Do I have any perverse interest in seeing the ravages of middle-age on the various jocks and cheerleaders who made high school life so god damn interminable? Yeah, sure; but not enough to get dressed up and hang out with them in some rental room at a suburban hotel. I hate small talk and social niceties and Southern pseudo-politeness. And I'm not dancing to any god damn Phil Collins songs!
A few months ago I went to a good friend's parents' fiftieth wedding anniversary. I saw a lady I hadn't seen since I was fifteen years old, and for some reason I walked over and reintroduced myself. This girl was always very pretty and time has been very very kind to her.
The conversation didn't last very long, not because she isn't a nice person, but because I had nothing to say. Nothing. What could I say? "Hey, you're still hot. Uh, yeah, I'm still fat but I'm much taller now. Um, I still have all my hair. Bye now." Nope, not even an option.
Why do I have absolutely no interest in reunions? My mom's side of the family is having a reunion tomorrow and I really don't want to waste a day off talking to those people and eating casseroles. I'd rather be at the brewpub.
Do any of you people like forced social situations? If so, please explain why.
However, it didn't make me ever want to go to a high school reunion. I've avoided my various high school reunions the way Paris Hilton avoids not sucking cock when a camera's rolling. I have no interest in seeing anyone from high school, even the people I was friends with back in the day. We obviously weren't good friends or I'd have heard from them in the past century or so.
Do I have any perverse interest in seeing the ravages of middle-age on the various jocks and cheerleaders who made high school life so god damn interminable? Yeah, sure; but not enough to get dressed up and hang out with them in some rental room at a suburban hotel. I hate small talk and social niceties and Southern pseudo-politeness. And I'm not dancing to any god damn Phil Collins songs!
A few months ago I went to a good friend's parents' fiftieth wedding anniversary. I saw a lady I hadn't seen since I was fifteen years old, and for some reason I walked over and reintroduced myself. This girl was always very pretty and time has been very very kind to her.
The conversation didn't last very long, not because she isn't a nice person, but because I had nothing to say. Nothing. What could I say? "Hey, you're still hot. Uh, yeah, I'm still fat but I'm much taller now. Um, I still have all my hair. Bye now." Nope, not even an option.
Why do I have absolutely no interest in reunions? My mom's side of the family is having a reunion tomorrow and I really don't want to waste a day off talking to those people and eating casseroles. I'd rather be at the brewpub.
Do any of you people like forced social situations? If so, please explain why.
17 Comments:
but casseroles are awesome
i don't think i'll go to my reunion either. unless they book me as a performer. :)
I missed my 10 year because I was on my honeymoon. I want to go to my 20 year reunion which is fast approaching out of morbid curiosity. Plus I want to see if the hotties are still hot. Unfortunatley, my closest high-school friends have vowed an oath to God that they will never go to a class reunion.
I've got less than zero desire to do the high school reunion thing and have let them pass me by. I'd be in the same boat, what do I say to these people? I wouldn't mind seeing say an updated yearbook so I could have a laugh though.
I didn't go to either of my reunions. The only way I'm going to the next one is if I'm married to one of my many celebrity crushes.
Or at least divorced from him.
I went to both my 10 and 20 year reunion. Admittedly, i graduated from a class of 62 (girls, not the year)
At year 10 - Our class "hottie" was obese and the class bitch was still a complete bitch. The class goody two shoes had a baby 7mos after prom (he was a preemie).
But i did have a good time at both events.
the sublime combo of two things: free food and no shame.
nick,
yes they are.
kendra,
I want to hire you. Will you work for pie and burritos?
greensun,
you call her "developmentally delayed", I call her "boobie aficionado".
dr. c,
they should have your 20 year at the Tuna Canoe.
dale,
I once thought reunion.com could be used for that, but only successful people who've aged well seem to post there.
scar bro,
just tell people you're divorced from a celebrity. Sure, they'll laugh at you behind your back like "Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion", but hey, you could blog about it.
tracy,
you are a twenty-four hour party person.
I don't need to attend any school reunions because Facebook has done all the legwork for me. So I already possess a sense of superiority over my former classmates, and I've been spared a very long drive and a lot of awkward hugs.
I enjoy forced social situations because they make good blog fodder.
I just want to go to set the gym on fire. With all of them in it.
Late for my therapy appointment.
I would just like to add two things to this conversation:
1. I am a genius, I mean did you read my post? Wow.
and
2. I will work for burritos and pie. No question.
But what kind of pie?
I think I'm in love with Nick
My 30th class reunion is coming up, but my crowd isn't going. Just not anybody we're interested in running into.
Reunions blow.
Bring on the pie and burritos.
I don't go to any school reunions for the reasons you've stated.
We are having a first family reunion next weekend and I will be there. I also love family weddings. I think it's a girl thing.
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