Friday, August 08, 2008
John Edwards been doin' the devil's bizness

I never liked John Edwards, the Southerner who delivered ZERO Southern states for the Dems in 2004, and now my dislike has been validated!

A few years ago, as his wife battled cancer, John Edwards was busy banging this lady. Settle down, I'm not invading her privacy; this blog doesn't break news, it repeats it half-assedly, so she's been all over the internet.

Jesus, whatever happened to cheating on your wife with twenty-two-year-old cocktail waitresses? This woman is attractive, sure; but she isn't "Drop the spouse off for radiation treatment and commence fornicating" hot.

For the record, I'm anti-adultery, but since John Edwards pretty much secured his place in hell by gettin' some strange while his wife was sick, he should have gone Derek Jeter on some hot young ass.

At least I don't have to worry about this small-timer ruining the ticket this time around; Obama won't allow himself to be seen in the same state as ol' Wanderin' Gomer. Too bad Amy Winehouse isn't a United States citizen. That would be a hoot.


She's more "make sure the wife is asleep after a long session of chemo then go bang the blond harlot" type of chick.

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

Did he have to go this far out of his way to disprove Ann Coulter?

Blogger Jo said...

According to Elizabeth Edwards, the affair actually took place before she was diagnosed with cancer. Not that the timing makes it less adulterous, but, yanno.

Blogger Jo said...

Oh, and remember the lying thing I was talking about last night? I confused John Kerry with John Edwards. Democrats all look alike to me ;-)

Blogger Übermilf said...

I used to think "staffers" were people who had jobs, like a roadie. But more and more news stories seem to suggest they are more like groupies. I wonder if they lift up their business-y blouses to show their ta-tas in order to get "hired."

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

Politicians are adulterous. Shocking. Film at 11.

I'm just surprised it wasn't a dude he was banging.

Blogger Übermilf said...

Silly VRWC! You're thinking of Republicans.

You've not been making a whole lot of sense lately Uber lady. Lay off the glue sniffing for a day or two.

Blogger Jo said...

I think my future brother-in-law and John should make an effort to be nicer to Ubie. Let's take a vote!

Blogger Tracy said...

I wonder what it is about dames who look like Camilla Parker Bowles that gets men all tight in the drawers. Anyone care to elaborate?

If you're going to destroy every last shred of your reputation and career, i'm with Todd...Go out Derek Jeter style and shag some serious hottie cross eyed.

Oh well. Either way, JE is still a pig.

Blogger yournamehere said...

actually, Ubie makes sense. In the past few years, Republican Congressman Mark Foley, Conservative evangelist Ted Haggard, Republican Senator Larry Craig, Republican Congressman Bob Allen, and Glenn Murphy, Jr., head of the National Young Republicans, have all been involved in same-sex scandals. See, her comment made perfect sense.

You're right, those guys should be damn dirty liberals. My mind was clouded with the memory of Democrats Barney Frank banging a male escort and Stan McGhee raping a 15 year old boy, and James McGreevey being on the business end of a glory hole, to name just a few.

Blogger yournamehere said...

Barney Frank is openly gay, so there's no hypocrisy there. He never preached a sermon condemning homosexuals to hell, like Ted Haggard did about a million times, and THEN went off to have sex with a man.

I have no idea who Stan McGhee is; even a google search didn't help. However, if he raped a kid, he should be shot in the face with a high caliber weapon.

Hey bro, when you come to visit next month I have front row tickets to Obama's sold out appearance at Cardinal Stadium. And to be fair, I also reserved two spots at John McCain's "Town Hall" question and answers session at a nursing home in Okolona.

Kidding. Looking forward to seeing you.

Blogger Übermilf said...

While I appreciate the support, I picture VRWC as a big gruff cuddly teddy bear.

Who is brainwashed.

I generally think lying cheating hypocritical scum should be exposed for what they are (Spitzer) but I question the need for this to come out now. His wife is dying.

Blogger John said...

It's my birthday.

Sorry, it's McGee, not McGhee.

I'm brainwashed huh Uber? Yep, I've been indoctrinated by the GOP to think wacky things like taking 65% of my income in taxes is wrong. What the hell am I thinking?!

See ya at the nursing home bro. I heard they'll have all the tapeoka we can eat!

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

Apparently they take away your ability to spell along with your taxes.

Blogger Lil Sass said...

Hey, I hear you're in the business of offering man meat. I'M IN!

I can believe John Edwards cheated. I can't believe the timing of it - whether it was during 'wife may be dying round 1' or during the current 'wife IS dying round 2' it's all awful.

And for the record, 'staffers' are whorish sluts, the whole lot of 'em.

Blogger yournamehere said...

Lil' Sas, thank you for not insulting fellow readers. We at Death Wore a Feathered Mullet thank you.

Must be Ian. Maybe it's my KY public school education. You know, those damned liberal teachers unions. It must eat you up inside to know that a guy that can't spell is more successful than you can ever dream of becoming. I'm going to bite my tongue out of respect for my brother, but if I were you, I'd watch my mouth next time.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

When you say, "We at Death Wore a Feathered Mullet thank you." I picture an entire staff dressed up like old time newsmen drinking bourbon. Please don't destroy my fantasy.

Blogger yournamehere said...


we're all wearing those Clark Kent hats with "Press" written on them.

Blogger lostinutah said...

Unlike you I LIKE John Edwards. Maybe I really like his wife. Either way, I'm disappointed because you're right, Obama can't be seen anywhere near him now. Oh, well, another human being who made a mistake off the list.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

None of this has anything to do with being a Democrat or a Republican. This is just yet another example of a man who can't keep it in his pants.

Blogger John said...

It's the day after my birthday.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

I guess what I want to know is why everyone's acting like Edwards' political career is all over now. I mean, John McCain cheated on his wife after a car accident left her disfigured and overweight and then ultimately left her for the woman he'd been cheating with. Obviously his political career isn't over.

Not that I condone Edwards cheating on his wife - it's inexcusably self-absorbed and disrespectful - but I do find the preachiness of the media coverage of this story more than a little ridiculous.

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

If the "john" of this message board is John Edwards, then I can understand Todd's intense loathing.

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