Sunday, December 07, 2008
Can we please get rid of this guy?

I've written before about the utter suckitude of University of Louisville football coach Steve Kragthorpe, who in two short years has taken the team from Orange Bowl champions (under the superior coaching of his predecessor) to national laughingstock. This past Thursday night they lost to Rutgers 63-14. Yes, that score is correct; and yes, Louisville's football players all have their sight and full allotment of limbs. Steve Kragthorpe is to motivation what Ike Turner was to domestic tranquility.

Unfortunately, Louisville's athletic director, Turtleneck Tom Jurich, is Kragthorpe's BFF, so this sorry excuse for a coach isn't going anywere. *I've never, ever seen Tom Jurich without a black turtleneck, but I can't find a picture of him wearing one! Fuck you, Google Images!*

Anyway, since the athletic director refuses to do his job and get rid of an incompetent employee, the Louisville fans are going to have to start some shit. And by "fans" I mean "people who give a lot of money to the football program". Tom Jurich doesn't care what my poor ass thinks, but he has to at least pretend to care when it comes to local richies. The next time he comes to them with a bucket to fill with money, they should instead overload said bucket with their own upper-crust excrement.

There has been message board talk about fans turning in their season tickets. I don't think this is a good idea, because eventually they'll hire a less pathetic coach, and you'll want those tickets when someone who knows his dick from a doughnut is in charge. Besides, the university FORCES you to buy the football package if you want basketball tickets, which are in high demand because Steve Kragthorpe has nothing to do with basketball.

I think the season ticket holders should just not show up to the games. 30,000 empty seats at next year's home opener will send a loud message. If the tickets aren't turned in, the athletic department can't resell them; and there will be 30,000 less people eating stale nachos and drinking overpriced, watery beer. When the owner of Papa John's sees that the stadium named after his company is 3/4ths empty, I'm guessing Kragthorpe will be gone by halftime. Yes, this city's most powerful private citizen is a pizza magnate. And the pizza in question is lousy.

I didn't come up with that picture of Kragthorpe, and I don't want to be sued, so allow me to tell you that I found it here. If they stole it from someone, well that's their problem.


7 Comments:

Blogger jazzbonejoe said...

You know, the owner of Papa John's kid is in my 5th grade band...

Blogger yournamehere said...

The owner of Papa John's sold his kid into slavery? To a fifth grader?

Krapthorpe sucks ass.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

I've always said that the most important quality in a coach is that he knows his dick from a doughnut.

Blogger jazzbonejoe said...

Well played, sir.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

Louisville has a football team?

Blogger Dr. Chingasa said...

Steve Kragthorpe is to motivation what Ike Turner was to domestic tranquility. Priceless...Let's get drunk and bitch about this moron soon.

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