Tuesday, December 02, 2008
The 5 Douchiest One Hit Wonders Ever
Let's start with who didn't make the list. Vanilla Ice was a gigantic douche, but he was more of a one album wonder. Limp Bizkit may have invented modern douchery, but they had a handful of successful songs. On the other side, Crash Test Dummies had one god awful hit, but they weren't really douchebags; just horrible musicians.



5. The Verve Pipe
There was already a band called The Verve, so they douchily called themselves the Verve Pipe. Does this mean I can cash in with a band named The Rolling Stones Pipe? Their one "hit", The Freshman, featured these brilliant lyrics:

When I was young and knew everything
And she a punk who rarely ever took advice
Now I'm guilt stricken
Sobbing with my head on the floor
Stop a baby's breath and a shoe full of rice no...

What? What? They are right about one thing, though...Those damn punks rarely ever take advice.

4. Snow
Snow was a douche for being a white Canadian who tried to sound Jamaican in the song Informer. And he called his record "Twelve Inches of Snow". You'd think someone with such a vivid imagination could write a decent song. You'd be wrong.

3. The Prodigy
Remember when electronica was supposed to be the "next big thing"? Neither do I. They played the video for Firestarter constantly on MTV, so you got to see these idiots in all their douchey glory.

2. LFO
In the late nineties, record executives sought the perfect marriage of sterile, soulless boy band music and rampant douchebaggery. They named their creation LFO, and the steaming shitburger they served America was called Summer Girls. No one has heard from these guys in a decade, but they still deserve Shovel Justice.

1. Crazy Town
This wasn't even close. This was the douchiest one hit wonder band ever, their song Butterfly was a tone-deaf ear rape, and their lead "singer" went by the name Shifty Shellshock. He should have called himself Douchey Fuckbrain. In the video he strikes a Messianic pose that proves he's the Jesus Christ of Douche.

Watch the video if you don't believe me. It's so douchey I smell Axe Body Spray whenever I see it. You'll have to watch it here because the fucking douchebags won't let anyone embed it.


9 Comments:

What about Millie Vanillie? They should have called their band "Summer's Eve" they were so douchey.

Didn't Larry Craig get into trouble for tokin' on the Verve Pipe?

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

I think you've only scratched the surface on this topic.

I think you can study the history of pop music and find douches from many eras.

Blogger Burfica said...

I'm hoping I have better class, cuz I didn't know any of those but one. I knew the Snow song, and that's only because my sister played it over and over and had the words memorized. I didn't even realize there were words in that song. hahahahhaa

Blogger Jenster said...

Didn't the lead singer from Crazy Town end up on Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab show on MTV?

Blogger Debra said...

...i don't feel so fresh now, grins, debra

Blogger Dale said...

I think 'Snow' had two or more hits here which was pretty douchey of him.

I'm still laughing at your Axe Body Spray and Rolling Stones Pipe remarks.

Douchily yours,

Dale

Blogger Gwen said...

No, you are wrong about Prodigy. Sorry, man. That album is completely bad-ass, and served as the best part of the soundtrack of many an early-2000s movie. "Smack My Bitch Up" and "Serial Thrilla" keep them from being one-hit wonders.

Blogger Kate said...

Okay, I just came across your blog on "Boobs, Injuries and Dr. Pepper" and thought that I would read through some of your older entries as a I appreciate your sarcasm and liberal use of the word "dousche" (props, too, on dropping the c-bomb on Anne Coulter)...I do, however, have to let you know that you're a prick after reading this entry because I'm now rotting here at my desk at work with a seriously horribly melody of "Butterfly" and "Freshman" running through my head. Damnit.

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