Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Is he human, or is he dancer?

The gullible public, this time in England, is giving Michael Jackson its hard earned money once again; so he can spend it on important things like nose jobs, skin bleaching, and building a boy-luring water park outside of his mansion.

I've wasted enough time ranting about how this freak should be in prison, but can we at least stop making him rich?!? Look at him. He looks like Mrs. Berman, my fourth grade teacher. The guy who made Off the Wall and Thriller is long gone, folks. He's been replaced by the pointy-nosed ghoul pictured here.

This summer, instead of begging for change in front of a plasma center, which would happen if God still cared about justice, Michael Jackson will be playing FIFTY arena shows in London. Yes, fifty shows of the same tired dance moves he's been doing since the late seventies. While non-child-fucking citizens all across the world struggle to pay their bills, Michael Jackson will be paying tens of thousands of dollars so surgeons can make him look even less human; and if the fossilized skull of JoJo the Dog-Faced Boy becomes available, look for him to get out the ol' checkbook.

That's right, when you're deciding if you can afford to take the family on a weekend vacation to a miniature golf and outlet shopping tourist trap, Michael Jackson will be lounging at a five star hotel in London, wearing a robe made of living ten-year-old boys. Yeah, that's fair.


10 Comments:

Blogger Devan said...

Ahhhh, loved the 'old' Michael - still do, but really - WTF happened!?!

Anyways, why aren't you complaining about the 'delay' on that Louisville game, when it switched over for approx. 3 minutes?

Cough, gag . . . Pitino, puke . . . honestly, I would have complained too . . . if it were KENTUCKY! But, alas, we are in the NIT (Not-Invited-Tournament)this year for the first time since I was 5 years old . . .

Thinking I am on Vast's side for the first time . . .

Blogger Christine said...

Great entry but this gem, "...a robe made of living ten year old boys...", that is the stuff of classic literature right there.

My God, you're funny.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

I bet you could crack all his bones if you sat on him.

I'd pay to see THAT.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

Good God, that is one ugly woman.

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

Actually not that bad for Michael, though. At least his skin is staying on here.

Blogger Pyzahn said...

Really, how did he do that to his skin?

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

Way too much Black Hole Sun?

I've been trying to block that effed MJ face and try to keep the 'Off the Wall' MJ in my special imagination world. Don't mess with my world!

Blogger foundinidaho said...

If only he'd left his face, and little boys, alone.

Blogger disa said...

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