Friday, March 20, 2009
A plea to In-n-Out

I don't remember the exact date, because at the time I didn't realize the historic significance, but one day in late 2002 I ate at the In-n-Out Burger pictured here, located on Sunset Rd. in Henderson, NV. It would be the first of many trips to this fast food paradise.

Is In-n-Out the best burger I've ever had? No. But it is BY FAR the best fast food burger. On my recent trip to Las Vegas my brother and his lovely wife took me to an In-n-Out* and I had a Double Double with grilled onions, hold the tomato. Boy, those are some good burgers.

I have now decided to publicly lobby to have an In-n-Out open in Louisville. Yes, I realize that In-n-Out has been around since 1948 and are only located in California, Nevada, Arizona, and parts of Utah. It would be crazy of them to expand eastward and ignore New York, Chicago, Philly, Boston, etc.

But that's what I'm asking them to do.

In-n-Out is not your typical fast food chain. They use quality ingredients, keep their locations spotlessly clean, pay their employees much better than average, and offer benefits. They like to go against the flow, so I think expanding to Louisville is the next illogical step.

Yeah, they could open in NYC. Oh, how bold that would be! "Look, there's an In-n-Out in Manhattan. Maybe Alex Rodriguez will take a stripper here and go all 'roid-ragey on the counter help." The fine people at In-n-Out don't need a chemically hazed, overpaid douchebag and his hookers-in-training tramping up their establishment.

-Chicago? They'd have to deal with Nick.

-Philly? They don't need that kind of heartache.

-Boston? Two words: Dane Cunting Cook.

Why Louisville? Because I'm asking nicely, that's why. And Louisville is the home of Lebowski Fest, and In-n-Out is referenced in The Big Lebowski. You can't have a Lebowski Fest and then have a bunch of drunks head over to Steak and Shake. It's just wrong.


*While I was enjoying my burger, I could hear a guy at the next table say to a female dining companion "I'll tell you who has a good burger...Del Taco."

DEL FUCKING TACO?!?!? To say that place serves dog food is an insult to the hard working men and women who grind up horse intestines to make food for dogs. I know it's an opinion, but sometimes an opinion is just plain stupid!

Really? Del Taco? To the uninitiated, Del Taco is a West Coast "Mexican" fast food chain that makes a bean burrito from Taco Bell taste like the culinary masterworks of renowned chef Rick Bayless. Unlike Taco Bell, they also feel the need to bastardize hamburgers and fries.

I wanted to punch that guy in the throat. But I didn't, because that's not behavior befitting Louisville's No. 1 In-n-Out Burger advocate.


Blogger Chris said...

Better than an A&W teen burger?

sounds like a good burger.

Dammit I'm hungry now.

Blogger TubbyAZ said...

Make mine a Double-double, Animal-style please...

There's just something special about a place that has just three fucking things on the menu. Burgers, fries, shakes. No chicken nuggets, no croissammich, no double-shot half-fat, no-foam McCoffees.

Blogger Kate said...

I'll join your plea only if that means that we get one in Kansas City, too...I'm excited to go to Vegas in September just for In-n-Out (oh, yeah...and my wedding, but whatever...mmm, burgers).

Blogger Udi said...

Have you ever had 5 guys. Best burger ever.

Blogger foundinidaho said...

I must disagree. Taco Bell burritos suck. Del Taco's burritos are good. And their fries are to die for.

I haven't had the burger.

I've heard In n Out is good. Not been to one.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

Thanks for ruining any chance of getting an In-n-Out near me.

Now, I have Nick AND no In-n-Out.

You, sir, play dirty pool.

Blogger jesse said...

Did you get your burger animal style? It's allot dirtier and they do grill the onions. It's kind of a secret "phrase" for the good stuff.

Blogger Joe Fresser said...

Del Taco absolutely sucks. I agree with the commenter about Five Guys. It's a DC area based chain that has gone wild with franchises. I'm not sure I classify them as fast food; they are somewhere between fast and casual dining. Really great burgers and fries. But there is nothing like In'n'Out. The best true fast food burger, hands down.

Blogger jesse said...

Has anyone been to The Green Room? Freakin' amazing.

Blogger CageQueen said...

Maybe I am just over In 'n' Out since I live in So Cal but I must admit to it beign a great company. I especially love their "secret" menu that's not a secret. They're a Christian company so all fo their cups have bible verses on the bottom. They do this cool thing where you can rent one of their trucks and they'll come to your event to flip fresh burgers; they even do weddings.

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