Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Smoke cigars? Fuck you!
It's time once again for an infamous Death Wore a Feathered Mullet Sweeping Generalization: If you regularly smoke cigars, you're almost certainly a douchebag. I'm sure someone out there in internetland knows a cigar smoker who takes orphans to the zoo and donates bone marrow to the homeless, but kindly keep that information to yourself. I take a certain comfort in knowing that anyone who emerges from the giant walk-in humidor at work is not only carrying several stinky cancer logs but also a suffocating sense of self-importance.

I'll give a pass to those who smoke a cigar at a drunken bachelor party or to celebrate the birth of a child. And when you receive your first back-alley blowjob from someone who may or may not be an escapee from a traveling freak show, light 'em up Potsie!

But if you subscribe to Cigar Aficionado, which was this close to being called Mancunt Monthly, you're simply Rush Limbaugh without the radio talk show. Society should use you as an ashtray.


2 Comments:

Amen.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

I know what you're saying here.

I don't think you're talking about the old men with hair in their ears who like to go to seedy racetracks.

You're talking about rich people who smoke expensive cigars, right?

You know who smoked cigars and made a big deal out their expense and their pedigree? My ex-husband.

Case closed.

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