Thursday, September 10, 2009
Recent observations...
-The other day I was at Target (Wal-Mart for people who bathe) and I noticed a Blu-Ray version of Bring It On: In It to Win It on sale for $29.99. Are folks going to make the expensive switch to Blu-Ray so they can spend thirty bucks to see a cheerleader movie in hi-def? This piece of crap wasn't even released to theatres. They'll give you the dvd version of the same movie if you buy a twelve pack of Mountain Dew.

-Apparently KFC is test marketing a "sandwich" called The Double Down which consists of bacon, two kinds of cheese, something called "Colonel's Sauce", and...wait for it...two fried chicken breasts instead of bread. Yeah, I thought it was a joke, too. Sadly, it is not.

Yes, this is an abomination, but if the evil minds at KFC are really trying to kill everyone in this country - and what other reason could there be for such a product - they could do much better. I suggest shaping the contents of a KFC Bowl into a ball, dipping it in thick batter, and frying it in human body fat, the kind Tyler Durden used to make soap. Stick that between two fried chicken breasts and you've got yourselves a sam'ich, KFC.

-I suppose it is kind of "socialist" to take care of all sick people, but why don't we seem to have any qualms about being socialist in other areas? For instance, I have no children but pay taxes to keep schools open. People who don't drive pay taxes for highway upkeep. We pay for firefighters even if nothing of ours catches fire, we pay for police when we aren't the victims of crime, and we pay for war whether or not we support it. But for some reason we draw the line at health care. "People are sick? Fuck 'em!" I just don't understand why this is even up for debate. The United States is something like 37th among developed nations when it comes to the quality of health care.

That is fucking unacceptable. It should EMBARASS every American that we've sunk so low. If we can all get together and pay for firefighters, police, schools, war, etc., we can unite to take care of our sick people. If this is really a "Christian nation" as described by politicians from both parties, how can we sit around and choose who gets to live? Do any of the Christian right actually believe the words of Jesus, or is it simply lip service to get votes from people who don't agree with their economic policies? I already know the answer to that, by the way. I pray they'll DO something to prove me wrong.

-Oh, and all of those angry old people screaming at town halls across America need to relax. You see, these old fucks are worried money will be spent to keep people in their twenties and thirties from dying, leaving none to help them live to see one hundred. We get it...you're better than everyone else because you didn't die young. Congratulations on that. No one is going to touch your medicare, so will you please give the rest of us a chance to one day be mean and useless?*






*Joke's on them. I'm already mean and useless.


19 Comments:

Blogger R said...

I can't even BEGIN to say how glad I am to see at least one American blogger saying this. It's been kind of sad to sit up here in my igloo and see people condemn universal health care as an unjust, unconstitutional, socialist curse.

It's not like Canada's doing everything 100% right, either, but at least nobody up here goes bankrupt because their kid develops leukemia, or because they were hit by a drunk driver, or stroked out.

Blogger lp said...

if by "mean and useless" you mean "mean and hilarious" then yes.

Blogger Übermilf said...

R, you seriously think he's the only blogger saying this? And that countless Americans don't know the depictions of the "socialist" health care systems of, I don't know -- THE ENTIRE REST OF THE CIVILIZED WORLD as inefficient and evil is the propaganda work of insurance companies and others who rack up huge profits at our expense?

Maybe you are in an igloo. Because the blogs I read are written by people begging, crying and pleading for universal health care.

Blogger yournamehere said...

I was hoping for more comments regarding Bring It On: In It to Win It.

Blogger Great Big Nerd said...

I can't think of KFC any more without thinking of Patton Oswalt talking about a failure pile in a sadness bowl.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

I think the Colonel's new sandwich is the strongest argument for universal health care yet.

Blogger Sara said...

I was shocked at your elitist attitude toward those that shop at Wal-mart, I guess my biases toward Target lovers are well founded

Blogger Heather said...

On every subject in this post...

BRAVO!

Blogger foundinidaho said...

You LIE!

(Sorry, someone had to say it.)

Blogger Johnny Yen said...

You know, I've changed my mind. You're America's most important political commentator, not Jon Stewart. He's a close second, though.

Why don't people who don't have health insurance buy their own? I'm self employed and insure my entire family for $200 a month. Don't have the extra $200 a month to buy it yourself? Get a 2nd job. Don't want to do that? Eat 3
"Double Downs" a day until you stop being a burden to society. Seriously though, if someone has a legitimate reason they can't get insurance, by all means we need to help those folks. That can also go for people who lost their jobs, etc. COBRA is way too expensive, and we should work to find a solution to that. That being said, none of the problems mentioned requires the upending of the entire US health care system. Personally, I don't want my heart surgery being done by the lowest bidder that got a D- from the University of Tijuana. If you libs want that, you can have it. As usual, just leave me and my family the fuck alone.

Blogger lp said...

vrwc - i don't really understand how having a public option... or major health care reform... means getting heart surgery from a doctor from the university of tijuana. that's a pretty large gap you're filling there.

there are plenty of "public" options out there that seem to function just fine right now. why is this going to be so hugely different?

A family friend is my Dr. He makes over $1Million a year. He finished in the top of his class at an elite medical school, and is widely regarded as one of the top Dr's in the city. I realize that being successful and making a lot of money drives libs crazy, but so the hell what. I want this guy as my Doctor. For the time being, I have the ability to choose him as my Dr. He has told me point blank he will just retire if he is forced to work within the confines of a government run/operated health care system. You think he is the only one? Let's not chase the talent out of the game ok? Again, there is no reason to overhaul the entire system to assist those who really need the help. And what public options are you so excited about? The VA is a joke. I've asked dozens of my Veteran clients about this and they unanimously agree, the government run health care they receive SUCKS ASS. If that's the treatment our heroes get, do you think you will get better? Wake up.

Blogger Übermilf said...

If you found a plan that costs only $200 to insure and entire family, I'm betting they only approve that Tijuana doctor you mentioned.

Blogger lp said...

"I realize that being successful and making a lot of money drives libs crazy, but so the hell what."

you really believe this? that's hilarious. i mean, i'm actually laughing.

Blogger Heather said...

I'm with Ubermilf, sign me up! Hell, better yet, post the name of the company and their #! I can't find insurance for just myself for less than $275.00 a month.

Blogger Tracy said...

I saw a woman on NBC nightly news protesting the healthcare plan in DC by saying "we are here because we all feel the same way. We're sick of the muslims coming to this country and taking over everything"

wtf? Stay mean brother, stay mean!

Blogger Wolfeitz said...

Would you truly trust the federal government to run the schools, police, and fire departments?!
I don't have a problem with public health care - what I do have a problem with is the federal government trying to run it.

If a state runs something poorly, picking up and moving is not so difficult. When your country does it, what options do you have?
If the state says No, we're not going to pay for that, you can appeal to the federal government for help. If the federal government is running the nations healthcare, who can you go to?

If we're going to do this, mandate the states to each come up with their own plan for covering all of their citizens. Offer some federal assistance when the plan meets certain guidelines.

The idea that the federal government is going to be in charge of this is downright scary.

Blogger Jenster said...

You hit the nail right on the head: I bathe, and therefore I go to Target and drive a mile out of my way to avoid Wal-Mart.

Oh, yeah, I agree with your health-care stuff, too.

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