-The other day I was at Target (Wal-Mart for people who bathe) and I noticed a Blu-Ray version of Bring It On: In It to Win It on sale for $29.99. Are folks going to make the expensive switch to Blu-Ray so they can spend thirty bucks to see a cheerleader movie in hi-def? This piece of crap wasn't even released to theatres. They'll give you the dvd version of the same movie if you buy a twelve pack of Mountain Dew.
-Apparently KFC is test marketing a "sandwich" called The Double Down which consists of bacon, two kinds of cheese, something called "Colonel's Sauce", and...wait for it...two fried chicken breasts instead of bread. Yeah, I thought it was a joke, too. Sadly, it is not.
Yes, this is an abomination, but if the evil minds at KFC are really trying to kill everyone in this country - and what other reason could there be for such a product - they could do much better. I suggest shaping the contents of a KFC Bowl into a ball, dipping it in thick batter, and frying it in human body fat, the kind Tyler Durden used to make soap. Stick that between two fried chicken breasts and you've got yourselves a sam'ich, KFC.
-I suppose it is kind of "socialist" to take care of all sick people, but why don't we seem to have any qualms about being socialist in other areas? For instance, I have no children but pay taxes to keep schools open. People who don't drive pay taxes for highway upkeep. We pay for firefighters even if nothing of ours catches fire, we pay for police when we aren't the victims of crime, and we pay for war whether or not we support it. But for some reason we draw the line at health care. "People are sick? Fuck 'em!" I just don't understand why this is even up for debate. The United States is something like 37th among developed nations when it comes to the quality of health care.
That is fucking unacceptable. It should EMBARASS every American that we've sunk so low. If we can all get together and pay for firefighters, police, schools, war, etc., we can unite to take care of our sick people. If this is really a "Christian nation" as described by politicians from both parties, how can we sit around and choose who gets to live? Do any of the Christian right actually believe the words of Jesus, or is it simply lip service to get votes from people who don't agree with their economic policies? I already know the answer to that, by the way. I pray they'll DO something to prove me wrong.
-Oh, and all of those angry old people screaming at town halls across America need to relax. You see, these old fucks are worried money will be spent to keep people in their twenties and thirties from dying, leaving none to help them live to see one hundred. We get it...you're better than everyone else because you didn't die young. Congratulations on that. No one is going to touch your medicare, so will you please give the rest of us a chance to one day be mean and useless?*
*Joke's on them. I'm already mean and useless.