Friday, June 10, 2005
Is Nothing Sacred?
How's this for a shit idea: A corporate entity, in obvious conjunction with the Lords of Bad Taste, is opening a bar on the Las Vegas Strip called "Toby Keith's 'I Love My Bar and Grill.'" Yes, the Toby Keith of right wing warmonger anthems; THAT Toby Keith.
Godcocksuckingdammit. Why don't they just call the bar "Las Vegas Jumps the Shark" or "A Sure Sign of the Fall of Western Civilization" or my personal favorite, "Fuck Todd and All He Holds Dear"?

You see, I love bars. Bars have endless supplies of alcohol and drunk women, the only kind of woman who'll talk to me. To associate a pile like Toby Keith with such a noble institution is a blasphemy to me, akin to Normandy survivors seeing Hitler in an Uncle Sam outfit.

I guess Toby Keith needs money. It could be months before the next exploitable war and/or national tragedy. Believe me, Toby loves himself a disaster. The TK express runs out of steam if it can't refuel with the blood of innocents. "Come on, terrorist networks, Daddy needs a new big stupid hat."

Toby, if you like the war so much feel free to fight it. You're able-bodied and they're desperate enough to fudge a little on the minimum I.Q. requirements, so join the army. You may find it a little harder than penning moronically jingoistic ditties and bad-mouthing the Dixie Chicks.

Apparently our city leaders thought the Strip, while replete with absolute douchebags, is somewhat lacking in the number of complete jackasses. This bar should level the playing field.


12 Comments:

Blogger Steve Caratzas said...

Well, that's gotta be better than some rude, greasy son of a bitch from New York opening a joint there, right?

Blogger Steve Caratzas said...

Oh, and no: nothing is sacred. Sorry.

Blogger yournamehere said...

Steve, I'd rather eat New York style pizza with Joey Butafucco than set foot in Toby Keith's bar.

Blogger MsHellion said...

Hon, it's not a conspiracy just against you. Witness what I was blitching about back in January. I, too, am going ape scat over this one.

Blogger Brookelina said...

I love the word jackass. It just says it all.

Blogger Ruben said...

The very fact Toby Keith is even alive makes me want to puke. I hope he doesn't get the urge to bring his hee-haw George bush worshiping ass to Illinois.

Blogger katarina said...

Toby Keith is the Anti-Christ. Satan in a cowboy hat. I hope he falls on the grill.

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

Do you suppose that, instead of barstools, they'll have boots for your ass? Because that's the American Way.

Blogger Cincysundevil said...

I'm with you. He's so gung-ho, but he won't take his chicken ass over to the recruiting office and raise his right hand. Piece of shit .. he represents the most base element of American culture (just because you can say ass in a country song and get 10,000 inbred to go nuts doesn't make you a great American) and now he's going to have a bar? Great; the only hope for mankind is that it goes under because the Natty Light and Moonpie crowd can't afford to miss NASCAR races.

Blogger Evil Petting Zoo said...

nothing is sacred...by the way..i fail to see a link to my blog. i thought you liked the cut of my jib?

Blogger yournamehere said...

As soon as I find out how to fit more sites on my template, I will. You see when I added the Wick's Pizza site it is all fucked up. My lack of knowledge of computers is quite staggering.
I have several sites I want to add.

Blogger Brian said...

"They have a name for guys who say they don't enjoy watching two hot chicks go at it: Liar."

Or: Gay

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