This is my last meme. Ever. Do not tag me again. Thank you all.
The only reason I'm doing this final tag thing is because Crystal asked me to, and Crystal writes the funniest fucking blog on earth. Her link is under my VIP list. If you don't read her blog daily you are a douche with questionable taste who enjoys The Family Circus comic strip. Or maybe you just didn't know about it. Well, now you do and therefore are a douche with questionable taste who enjoys Foghat 8-tracks if you don't start reading it right away.
10 years ago- Worked at a four-star restaurant in Louisville, Ky. I was the pantry chef, better known as Salad Whore. I made barely enough money to survive.
5 years ago- Worked at a large liquor store in Louisville, Ky. I enjoyed the job, but I made barely enough money to survive.
1 year ago- Worked as an asst. manager at now-defunct retail circle-jerk Organized Living, in semi-lovely Henderson, NV. I made barely enough money to survive.
Yesterday- All my troubles seemed so far away.
5 snacks I enjoy- guacamole and chips; leftover pizza; cashews; Tim's Cascade Style Wasabi Flavored Potato Chips; chocolate Gee, why do I need to lose weight?
5 songs I know all the words to- 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall; Happy Birthday to (insert name of birthday boy/girl here); My Old Kentucky Home; The Alphabet Song; Fucka Buncha Trickass Mutha Fuckas as performed by the Osmonds.
5 things I would do with $100 million dollars- 1) Play it all on one hand of blackjack... OH SHIT! Cancel 2-5.
5 places I would run away to- San Diego; my hometown; Chicago (not in the winter); Ireland; Dallas to hang with Andi and Steph.
5 things I would never wear- An "I' m With the Anorexic Cunt" t-shirt; Willie Nelson's headband; my heart on my sleeve; out my welcome; the increasingly popular clown pant/sombrero combo.
5 favorite tv shows- Family Guy; Sopranos; Entourage; Simpsons; Bearded Clambake.
5 biggest joys- I've only known two girls named Joy, and they were both of average weight.
5 favorite toys- Computer: cd player; DVR; DVD player; death ray.
5 people I tag- One-legged Al, Butternips, Mister Sister, Puddin' Twat, and aeiouandsometimesy...get to work.
The only reason I'm doing this final tag thing is because Crystal asked me to, and Crystal writes the funniest fucking blog on earth. Her link is under my VIP list. If you don't read her blog daily you are a douche with questionable taste who enjoys The Family Circus comic strip. Or maybe you just didn't know about it. Well, now you do and therefore are a douche with questionable taste who enjoys Foghat 8-tracks if you don't start reading it right away.
10 years ago- Worked at a four-star restaurant in Louisville, Ky. I was the pantry chef, better known as Salad Whore. I made barely enough money to survive.
5 years ago- Worked at a large liquor store in Louisville, Ky. I enjoyed the job, but I made barely enough money to survive.
1 year ago- Worked as an asst. manager at now-defunct retail circle-jerk Organized Living, in semi-lovely Henderson, NV. I made barely enough money to survive.
Yesterday- All my troubles seemed so far away.
5 snacks I enjoy- guacamole and chips; leftover pizza; cashews; Tim's Cascade Style Wasabi Flavored Potato Chips; chocolate Gee, why do I need to lose weight?
5 songs I know all the words to- 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall; Happy Birthday to (insert name of birthday boy/girl here); My Old Kentucky Home; The Alphabet Song; Fucka Buncha Trickass Mutha Fuckas as performed by the Osmonds.
5 things I would do with $100 million dollars- 1) Play it all on one hand of blackjack... OH SHIT! Cancel 2-5.
5 places I would run away to- San Diego; my hometown; Chicago (not in the winter); Ireland; Dallas to hang with Andi and Steph.
5 things I would never wear- An "I' m With the Anorexic Cunt" t-shirt; Willie Nelson's headband; my heart on my sleeve; out my welcome; the increasingly popular clown pant/sombrero combo.
5 favorite tv shows- Family Guy; Sopranos; Entourage; Simpsons; Bearded Clambake.
5 biggest joys- I've only known two girls named Joy, and they were both of average weight.
5 favorite toys- Computer: cd player; DVR; DVD player; death ray.
5 people I tag- One-legged Al, Butternips, Mister Sister, Puddin' Twat, and aeiouandsometimesy...get to work.
6 Comments:
I triple confirm what you say about Crystal. Easily the most entertaining blog around. Don't take this personally, but yours comes in a distant second. Maybe even third. But I digress. Just wanted you to know that I happen to OWN a Foghat 8-track.
Thanks for making me laugh out loud so early in the morning!
I guess my blog is in the shitter if all of these other bloggers come before me :(.
Have a fabulous weekend! Don't do anything I wouldn't do!
OJ + shovel. I hope you can run fast or you just my lose your head ;)
I love it when you whore me out.
Thank you for playing. I had no idea you had been tagged so many times or I wouldn't have messed with you.
For the record, yours is the first blog I read every morning..and usually the only one that makes me laugh. In other words, we should procreate.
Crystal,
We should procreate, because I think your blog would be even funnier if you had another child.
Also, when your boyfriend finds out it isn't his, that's when the hilarity really ensues.
Crystal, Popeye always said 'vagina' and 'spinach' in the same sentence.
I must have missed that episode. Or that dose of acid. Either way, I missed out and that makes me sad. Love my sadness away, baby.
Post a Comment
<< Home