Wednesday, November 02, 2005
This is the kind of shit that angers up my blood
I saw this image in its bumper sticker form in the summer of 2004. Nothing compliments a 120-degree day like gazing upon unabashed, unapologetic idiocy.

Quit rubbing your eyes; this is indeed a rendering of George W. Bush engaged in prayer with the ghostly images of Abe Lincoln and George Washington. Uncocksuckingbelievable!

PEOPLE MAKE MONEY SELLING THIS SHIT! Anyone who pays for this mental pablum needs to be institutionalized. And that's a lot of occupied rubber rooms, because a hell of a lot of people think President Fuckwad deserves to be on Mt. Rushmore.

I want to design my own picture of George W. Bush praying; on his left, an image of a young George W. being arrested for drunk driving back in 1976. On his right, an image of him being arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct at a college football game.

Jesus Herman Christ, do you know how drunk and disorderly you have to be to get thrown out of a college football game? Several years ago at a University of Louisville game I fist- fucked a one-legged albino and didn't get thrown out. In fact, the entire incident was shown on the stadium scoreboard, and we received a standing ovation. And it was all accomplished without the help of those meddling spectres Lincoln and Washington.


I threw up on a cop and had him drive me to my car at a football game and my ass still didn't get arrested. So, the answer to your question, you'd have to be pretty fucking drunk.

I put on a donkey show at a Baylor game and didn't get thrown out.

I want to crush the skulls of fuckwads that buy shit like this. The cocksucker that designed it is makin' a hefty wad while I'm scrounging up $$$ for a student loan payment.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

I like your George W. picture much better than that piece of shit at the top of this post.

I'm also fucking tired of the tacky magnetic car ribbons. They're like a creepy projection of the christian fish symbol. If people really want to help a cause why don't they donate the fucking money they spend on the garbage magnets to whatever fucking cause they claim to promote?

Blogger Egan said...

You're all talk man. I want to see some action. Fist fucking...pssshaww!

Pants, you don't need to worry about the yellow magnetic ribbons. I am doing my part to rid the world of those fuckers. I have stockpiled about 8 of them thus far. Those damn things really really piss me off. Time for me to go monkey shit on yellow ribbons.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Egan, you're my hero.

Blogger yournamehere said...

a cop drove you to your car so your drunken ass could drive home? Behold the power of tits.

I think I saw your donkey show on a Sports Bloopers DVD. I'd never seen a donkey die of exhaustion until then.

ms. pants,
yes, my picture of Bush would be much better than the one with the dead presidents. I think I angered up your blood, huh?

no really, that albino would totally walk with a limp if she had two legs. Should "albino" be "pigment-deprived"?

is egan the "Wind Beneath Your Wings"?

Blogger Egan said...

Thanks Pants. Just kindly remove them from cars when you see them. That's what I do.

Blogger yournamehere said...

I wouldn't want anyone to take something from my vehicle just because they disagreed with its message, so I can't endorse this. I do, however, encourage the continued mockery of those stupid ribbons.

Blogger Nick said...

A couple of friends and I made our own magnetic ribbons (as we have access to that sort of thing). One said "I Support My Magnetic Ribbon Industry" and the other said "Fuck Our Stupid Troops".

People didn't really like the second one.


Blogger The DogGrrrrl said...

I'm surprised Jeebus isnt in there too.

Blogger Übermilf said...

You have angried up my blood and I shall take it out on Donald Rumsfeld.

Blogger Brookelina said...

I still think they are standing on either side of him yelling "SCHMUCK!!!"

Blogger yournamehere said...

Bill Hicks used to say during the FIRST Gulf war, "I'm in the awkward position of being for the war, but against the troops." He was joking, but that didn't stop people from throwing things at him.

Jesus' estate charges too high a copyright fee.

Ubie v. Rumie? Kick his fuckin' ass! What can I say to anger up your blood even more? "President Bush's newest Supreme Court nominee will be easily confirmed and go on to set women's rights back fifty years."

True, it's probably a word they learned in heaven watching Henny Youngman's act.

Nah, he drove me to my car so I could get my house keys out, and then drove me to my friend's truck where I passed out in the back. UNLV tailgatin' used to be awesome back in the old days.

The only tailgate party I ever attended that was better was a WKU one. You Kentucky folk can drink!

Blogger yournamehere said...

You've been to Bowling Green, Kentucky? If so, you realize that drinking is all they have to do.

Blogger Nick said...

Bill was a genius. I love listening to his shows where he and the audience just hate each other. His jokes bomb and then he'll go on a tangent about how shitty the audience is. Mutual disdain makey good comedy.

Blogger Egan said...

Todd, I feel you man about the stealing thing. However it's a fucking two dollar magnet made in China to supposedly support our troops. Where's the two dollars going?

To me it's profiteering off the war. You wouldn't see me peel off a Bush/Cheney or Pro-life bumper sticker as much as I would like to do that. I just take issue with the yellow ribbon magnets. Nuff said and I respect your oh-pin-yun.

Blogger yournamehere said...

Have you read American Scream: The Bill Hicks Story? Good stuff.

yeah, it would be better to donate money to a worthy cause. The VFW was outside of my local grocery the other day, so I gave them a few dollars. They support sick and impoverished vets that the government has turned their back on.

Blogger Shannon said...

That bumpersticker is one of the most offensive things I've seen in my entire life.

And those least we're spreading economic liberty ala Wal-Mart to those chinese workers...

Blogger Egan said...

Amen Todd.

Yes, many moons ago, I flew to BG for homecoming during my freshman year of college. One of the most interesting weekends in my college career.

Yeah, I can't see where there is much else to do there.

Blogger Übermilf said...

(Aside to Nick:)

God, is everything about YOU??? Shut the fuck up already! Christ!

(End aside.)

Blogger Calzone said...

You missed the best part. You can barely see it but Reagan is standing behind Bush fucking him up the ass.

Blogger Kris said...

I can't top of any these stories.

And may I ask when in Hades I will be higher than like 86 in your list of comments?!? Come on! ;)

Blogger katarina said...

Bill Hicks is the master. He was on my blog today. What a co-inky-dink.

Nick, I must have a "I Support My Magnetic Ribbon Industry" magnet.

Blogger Crystal said...

Brilliant! And for the life of me I will never understand why vets & military people tend to vote Republican. I guess because that party has the more "masculine" reputation but the Dems are far better to the military. Disabled vets who've lost a few limbs get their discharge papers, about $700/mo in disability, and then are cast into a life of poverty. It's a pathetic shame!!

Blogger Monkey said...

Ah yes... this is why I love that John Prine song, "Your Flag Decal Won't Get You Into Heaven Anymore".

Creepy Photo Todd. Thanks for making my Halloween complete.

Blogger Rachel said...

You are so my hero, I love you!

Blogger yournamehere said...

wow, and you're a Vegas native, so you've seen some offensive things.

bless you, my son.

how do you fly into Bowling Green? Do you own a helicopter?

this is between you and Nick, so, moving on...

Blogger yournamehere said...

I believe it. Reagan was a known turd-burgler.

I don't think I've ever been in the top forty of your comments, oh queen of bloggers.

I just got home, so I'll read your post when I'm done here.

no one who's been shot at to protect my right to be a slacker should have to live in poverty.

when I first saw this, well over a year ago, it was about 130 out and it was on the bumper of a Lexus. I almost died of heatstroke.

I love you more.

Blogger Princess Steph said...

Todd----- SERIOUSLY I know you can do better than this (no offense babe, you know you are #1 with me and my conservative self.)

19fucking76. Who didn't screw up in 1976? Hell, my parents, the saints that they are, gave birth to ME in 76, so apparently of hell was breaking loose.

I've been kicked out of an airport sweetie, would you still vote for me? I think so.... drunken stories add spice to our lives dontcha think? ;)

I'm just saying if you are going to insult my kind (I know you love it) use something more current than these incidents :)

Blogger yournamehere said...

anyone, especially post-9-11, can get thrown out of an airport. Getting thrown out of a college football game is something special.

Steph, I know you're an intelligent person. Doesn't that bumper sticker, regardless of your political beliefs, insult your intelligence?

Blogger Princess Steph said...

meh. let's talk about porn some more. :)

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