Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Lookie What I Missed

If I'd have bothered to watch the Golden Globe pre-show on E!, I would have seen Scar Jo get her boob grabbed by openly gay designer (redundant, I know) Isaac Mizrahi while closetedly gay Ryan Seacrest and a nameless bimbo look on insipidly.

The next time there's a star-studded event here in Vegas, I'm going to show up with a microphone and cameraman, pretend to be a homosexual designer, and grab me some boobies.

Honestly, I don't understand why it's okay for Mr. Mizrahi to publicly molest poor Scarlett just because he doesn't enjoy it. She seems to think it's hilarious that a homosexual is fondling her jug-biddies. I do it and drinks are thrown in my face. UNFAIR, I SAY!

And why does Ryan Seacrest keep getting work? In a fair and just world, he'd be squeegee bitch at the peep show.


Blogger katarina said...

Look at his face. He loved every minute of it. Don't let his fake gayness fool you.

Ryan is a bitch that will do anything for any amount of money just for publicity. That's why he keeps getting work. And he has a nice voice.

Blogger Jo said...

Seriously, how does he keep getting work? Does anyone like him??

Blogger Trix said...

Had you watched the pre-show, you'd have seen Isaac grab more than just ScarJo. I think that man felt up half of Hollywood. I think he got more play that night than Leo DiCaprio.

Blogger Lushy said...

It's always ok for gay guys to grope. One of the best nights of my life was spent in a gay bar in New Orleans, being groped repeatedly by gay men. One even did a brumski and I did not care.
I think your plan will work.

Blogger Übermilf said...

personally, I think one should ask permission.

What if she was sore? Or lactating?

Blogger Monkey said...

Übie is right. There is an etiquette about these things, a protocol if you will...

Personally, I think Scar Jo has the most wonderful bottom ever seen in granny undies. Ever.

Thank you.

Blogger Blonde said...

It is not who you is who you BLOW. That is why Ryan Seacrest keeps getting million dollar gigs ;).

I give million dollar head too, I guess I am just blowing the wrong guys.

BTW, guys that pretend to be gay but aren't truly can get the inside scoop with chicks. I have gay friends that I walk around naked in front of. I flash them my boobs all of the time, etc. I think they are gay, but now I am not so sure...

Blogger yournamehere said...

if he's faking being gay, he's the one who deserved the acting award the other night. Joaquin Phoenix ain't got nothin' on him.

I hear he's quite popular in Miami.

oh my god, there used to be a prank show on M-TV called Buzzkill, and one of the "stars" of the show looked just like Isaac, so they had him throw a fake fashion show and dressed beautiful women in assholey clothes. Maybe that was really the Buzzkill guy feeling up all of those actresses. Genius if it was.

if we ever meet, I'm gay, alright?

of course one should ask first. Thanks for ruining my post with your good sense.

Don't thank me. You are welcome to discuss Scarlett's hot granny-undie-wearin'-ass anytime.

I am completely gay, so when you come to Vegas be sure to walk around naked in front of me and flash me your boobs. Also, I'm thinking some million dollar head might bring me around to the joys of heterosexuality. You never know.

Blogger Übermilf said...

So, if all us female bloggers were to come to Las Vegas, we could stay at your house and have a naked pillow fight that ended with giggles and a make out session, and that would be okay because you're gay?

Blogger yournamehere said...

yes, it would all be okay. Also, you are now in charge of all of my press releases.

Blogger AWE said...

Ryan Seacrest is the squeegee bitch at the peep show. He works there for free so that he can get a tax write-off and feel like he is helping out the Boys Club. I can't believe he got to grab SJo, the Bastard.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Todd, this is me, directly responding to your post...

For once I'd like to see a FEMALE reporter/fashion expert, gay or not, reach out and grab some guys balls. Do you think she'd get to keep her job?


She'd be lambasted in the media as stepping over the line... a guy grabs some tit (OK, he's gay but so what) and the bimbo (er lady) giggles? What's with that?


Blogger Slutbag said...

her boobs look fabulous...i'd grab them too!

Blogger Trix said...

With all this talk of boobs, etc., Todd, I'm wondering why you haven't yet stopped my my site to cast your vote...

Blogger Brookelina said...

I never knew there was such a thing as a squeegee bitch at a peep show. I feel so....sheltered.

I'm giving my boob a squeeze for you right now - if that makes you feel any better.

Blogger yournamehere said...

it's so unfair.

you're right. The whole situation is just strange.

I'd like to see you grab her boobs.

I'm on my way over.

it makes me feel a lot better. Thanks.

Blogger Cincysundevil said...

WOW! I officially volunteer to become her official breast groper. It would be the only job I would look forward to each and every day.

Blogger Tumbleweed said...

Ryan Seacrest is a poon!
I would have slapped the gay fucker, I only let straight perverts grab my girls.

Blogger JJ said...

I'll be your cameraman.

Ryan gets work because that's Satan's end of the bargain. What do we get out of it? The entertainment value of watching Satan burn him to a cinder and take his soul on Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve 2016.

It'll be worth the wait.

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