Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Tired of Dating. Tired, Tired, Tired!
(Update at end of post)

"Where I come from isn't all that great
My automobile is a piece of crap
My fashion sense is a little whack
And my friends are just as screwy as me

I didn't go to boarding school
Preppy girls didn't talk to me
Why should they, I ain't nobody
Got nothin' in my pocket..."

Rivers Cuomo, get out of my head!

These lyrics are about me, damn it. I should receive royalties for this shit. I really don't know why I allow myself to date. I just shouldn't do it. I should continue my regimen of masturbation and strip club visits (I've been to a strip club three times in the past year, so my routine leans heavily in favor of the former). All of my dates eventually lead to bitter disappointment and/or heartache; if not sooner, then later. And I wonder how many women I've driven to nunnerys over the years? Even if it's just one, that's pretty sad.

I'm too old for these fucking games. I'm too bitter and tired to audition myself to women so they can evaluate me with their mental checklists. I've had it with the dog and pony show that is dating. And maybe it shows while I'm on the dates or even when I'm being bombarded with questions on the phone before she decides if she'll HONOR ME with her fucking presence on a date. A woman I met on an online dating service said to me, "I've never met anyone our age who hasn't been married before."

What? What rural hilljill community did she come from? I SO wanted to say to her, "Well, you're divorced, so at least one guy on earth thinks you're a total cunt" but I didn't BECAUSE I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH BEING DIVORCED; just like normal people don't think there's anything wrong with being middle-aged and single. Despite my overwhelming misgivings, we agreed to meet for coffee on Saturday afternoon at a Starbucks to be determined later.

On Wednesday, I called her and at her insistence picked a Starbucks at which to meet. I was going to ask her what time would be convenient when suddenly she said, "I'm at Wal-Mart. I'll call you right back." She didn't call back, so that fact, combined with her disinterested tone of voice during our conversation, led me to believe she didn't want to meet for coffee.

She finally calls back on Saturday and leaves a message. I guess I was supposed to put my life on hold till she decided to call back? I ignored the call. Then she sends me an angry email which reads "What happened to you?"

So now I'm the villain? Fuck that! You know what happened to me? I answered an email from a crazy person and agreed to meet her for coffee, that's what the motherfuck happened to me. I hope she sneezes and her tits fall off.

I did go out Saturday night and the lady said she had a great time, but she hasn't answered my phone call as of yet. It's a little too early to tell, but I have a bad feeling about this one too.

So basically, I'm sitting in the angry chair and it's making my ass hurt.

I'm posting early because I'm meeting a friend for a nice non-date.

UPDATE: I received an email from the lady I went out with Saturday night. She said there was another man she went out with who she wants to pursue things with. I appreciate the honesty, but it doesn't heal the bitter sting of rejection. Yeah, so I'm pretty much a hermit now, content to die alone, as is my destiny.


36 Comments:

Blogger Lushy said...

Dating sucks. There is nothing fun about it. It just sucks big fat donkey balls.

Blogger miss kendra said...

order yourself a russian bride.

then, in a few years when she's all mean and ugly and spent, divorce her and order a new one.

I actually have a friend who just divorced his Russian bride, so I'm sure she's looking for that emergency marriage/green card bit right now. Just in case you're interested....

Blogger Monkey! said...

You deserve much better than that. She sounds like a ho. For show.

Blogger Egan said...

Todd, I am speechless man. This is when I am happy I am a married person. I know there are good people out there because look at all the people that read your blog. We're nice. It will happen when you least expect it.

Hope you have a good nice non-date.

Blogger Livia said...

Hahaha I had a wonderful non-date. We should definitely do it again.

Blogger katarina said...

Fuck her. If it feels wrong, run away!

Blogger Kopaylopa said...

Amen brother. Dating blows big bouncing beef bollocks. Oh, and go for Thai bride over Russian. At least they'll cook better food.

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

Life is unfair and many women are stupid.

If it's any consolation, they probably wouldn't get any of your jokes anyway.

Blogger Cincysundevil said...

Dating sucks ass!! I have a g/f and I'm miserable. Maybe we should just have arranged marriages in this country.

Blogger AWE said...

Start taking your dates to strip clubs, that would be a nice ice breaker on the first date.

Blogger Blonde said...

You should have checked her off of your list when she said "I am at Walmart". That and the fact that she sounds bipolar was enough to eliminate her.

You are fabulous! Please don't judge yourself based on women like her.

BTW, I will be in Vegas from 5/4-5/8 and we will catch up then. Drinks and dinner are on me ;).

Blogger Trix said...

That's why I have a vibrator. It makes me happy and doesn't hurt my feelings.

Blogger Jo said...

You should date nicer people... then dating would be more fun ;-)

Blogger AWE said...

As for the update. Send her a link to the Blonde's website. Tell her that you have decided to persue things with the Blonde.

Blogger Claudia said...

fuck. that. shit.

Blogger Blonde said...

When I get to Vegas, we are going to hunt these stupid twats down and I am going to kick them in the cunt. Stupid Fucking Bitches!!!!!!!

I am with Trix...that is why I have a vibrator. Dating does suck. Everyone has been rejected and it sucks, but at least you are not alone.

You DEFINITELY need to start dating nicer women.

Blogger JJ said...

Sorry for the rough time, but that woman was a loon. Forget her. My buddy must've gone on a hundred Internet dates before he finally met the one.

Blogger IndependentGrl said...

Todd, I swear we are living parallel lives. I just had a guy who I had been on a date with a week ago call me today and tell me that he and a girl who he also recently met have decided to be mutually exclusive. "But if we don't work out, I would definitely be interested in going out with you". Fucking thanks buddy - I'll be at home slitting my wrists while I wait for you and the other online girl to break up.

As you can see, I couldn't agree with ya more!!!!!!

Blogger megan said...

i'm only 18 and i'm already tired of dating, too. (for your enjoyment: i know a guy who has turned 8 of his girlfriends into lesbians.)

Blogger Rachel said...

Hey hon, I agree with both Trix and Claudia. Sorry that sucked, or that there was no sucking going on.

Call me, we'll talk.

Blogger Brookelina said...

This is why I am going to spend the rest of my life using men for sex.

Blogger Knitty Kitty said...

fuck that.
come to brisbane and I will do what I do best.
get drunk.

Blogger katarina said...

Sounds like you need to hook-up with independent girl or steph.

Blogger Slutbag said...

what is wrong with people today? is it so much to ask that people are at least nice? i would have gone to starbucks with that lady just so i could sit there and be mean to her. what a bitch. lets rally and kick her ass.

i do think that some of this may be due to the fact you live in vegass. not that i'm ripping on it, cause look where i live, but there is much more value placed on how much money you make and what you look like there, than here.

not that you are going to move or anything, but not everyone is that mean.

Blogger JJ said...

I'll be first, Brooke.

Blogger BSN said...

I dated fat chicks and never had a problem. All they require is that you have hair, teeth, and a job.

Even two out of three works for some...

;-)

Blogger ETaylor said...

I just dont understand why a nice & funny person like you is having a hard time finding someone to love. Your personality is amazing. Unfortunaltey I live across the country from you. How old are you anyway?

Blogger Debby said...

I don't know what "your age" is, but many people have concentrated on their careers first and then have come to relationships later in life. That bitch sounded like she was a loon anyway, so you are much better off without her to begin with.

Your blog truly showcases your sense of humor. I am sure there is a good woman out there who will "get" both it and you, probably when you least expect it. I finally had given up, at the age of 38, because I was soooooo fucking tired of the bullshit out there, and along came my husband, who quite literally ran into me - LMAO. Eight years later and we are still going strong!! Don't despair yet sugar!!!!

Blogger your anti-hero said...

Shit...I'm torn at whether to laugh at the 'angry chair' line or to give you words of wisdom. When I first got divorced I was hellbent on dating as much as humanly possible and I did. The ironic thing was that with as many dates that I had, I was left feeling even more empty than before.

I quit dating like some kind of manwhore and things just fell in place. Life is funny like that.

Blogger Princess Steph said...

stop dating and just get cats, thats what im going to do.

Blogger Jo said...

Hey etaylor... back off and get in line there ;-)

Blogger Ruben said...

People who date should get combat pay, because if you weren't damaged befre you will be by the time it's over. lol

Blogger n.v. said...

Todd, dating is a horrible thing. It's not you. It's everyone else.

I heart you immensely.

Blogger n.v. said...

Egan, I thought your comment was totally condescending and prickish...then I saw your name under it and thought ". . . Egan?"

Blogger dianne_lone said...

you are all so negative. I met my fiancee through webdate.com... I think there is a time for everyone to meet their match.

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