America's Next Top Reason for Me to Run Away and Live in the Fucking Mountains, Relying Only on My Wits to Survive
I like television, and I like looking at beautiful women, but I can't stand even a nanosecond of America's Next Top Model. In fact, I just saw a commercial for the new season, and it made me want to bury myself alive in a bodybag full of rats. Congrats, Tyra Banks and company, for making it unbearable to stare at women in skimpy outfits.
How is this possible? Well, they let these vain, moronic twits open their mouths. Just from watching a thirty-second ad, I can tell that every conversation these women have is the prattle of the damned. A few of the contestants "introduced" themselves. One of them said, "Not everyone's going to like me." Nice people aren't even liked by everyone; a self-important GASH like her will be roundly despised. Another girl stated, "I'm not cocky but I'm confident." I'm confident that she loves only her looks and will slit her wrists when age fades her beauty.
I'm sorry, but some of these models are too skinny. One chick looked like the Crypt Keeper after a "queer eye" makeover. She refers to Nicole Ritchie as "fatso". If I ever had the chance to sleep with her, I'd use my cock to play her ribs like a xylophone. She needs to step away from Tyra Banks and get her boney ass to a buffet.
Of course, this just might be the part of me that despises Reality TV. The only Reality show I ever liked was Average Joe, because it confirmed everything I hold to be true about human nature. The producers stacked the deck by having the final "average Joe" be a funny, interesting guy while the good looking guy was a complete zero. And she still picked the one who looked better! Then they let the average guy have his own show AND HE DID THE SAME FUCKING THING. He learned absolutely nothing from his public humiliation. A woman declared her love for him on national television and then three days later dumped him for Fabio's nephew, and he responded by picking the beautiful woman he had nothing in common with over his quite attractive SOULMATE!!! Both times I got to say "I told you so" to the whole cunting world.