The World Series of Blogging

Note: Yeah, this is an early post. I'm going out, if that's okay with you.

Why is poker on every channel these days? Who actually sits in front of their television and watches other people gamble? Is there any activity too mundane for cable TV?

I think blogging should be televised. Furthermore, I think MY blogging should be televised. They could set up a camera crew at my house and have commentators analyze my every move. Sometimes, they would be joined by a popular blogging expert, like that chick from Dooce or maybe even Brooke. But mostly there would only be two commentators, who I'll call Douchebag1 and Douchebag2.

D1: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the World Series of Blogging. I'm Tom Harrel along with Frank DeMarco. Here we are at the house of Todd as he prepares to write an entry to his obscure, d-list blog, viva las vegass."

D2: "Is that title supposed to be funny? Oh, and it should be pointed out that this house is a rental. Todd is much too poor to be a homeowner."

D1: "Yes, perhaps if he didn't spend so much time in front of a computer he could find more gainful employment. Here he comes from the kitchen area, Frank, and it looks like he has a can of Coke Zero."

D2: "He's not fooling anyone with that diet soda, Tom. This guy is fat."

D1: "It says here he's lost almost thirty pounds on Weight Watchers."

D2: "Holy fried mozzarella sticks, Batman! Are you saying he used to weigh even more? How is that possible?"

D1: "Well, enough insulting his physical appearance. Let's begin insulting his shitty blog."

D2: "Maybe his blog would make more sense if he didn't watch VH-1 Classic while writing it."

D1: "I hope he writes more self-pitying tripe about how lonely he is; boy, I can't get enough of that crap."

D2: "Or maybe he'll use the word 'cunt' as an adjective. That MIGHT have been funny the first time he did it."

D1: "It was never funny."

D2: "I stand corrected."

D1: "It looks like he's downloading a picture from the internet, since he's too poor to buy a digital camera and take his own photos."

D2: "He's writing now. His sentence structure makes my balls hurt, Tom."

D1: "He mentions boobs quite often, but if this buffoon fell into a ten-acre titty patch he'd walk out sucking his thumb."

D2: "Maybe he'll talk about strippers. It's hard to believe an overweight, underemployed middle-aged man is a fan of strip clubs."

D1: "Look, he's finished already. Another tossed off, half-assed effort by the creator of viva las vegass."

D2: "He's a wart on the crotch of blogging, Tom."

Okay, on second thought maybe I don't want to be on television after all.