Despite the guilt, I rather enjoyed my Wal-Mart tirade, so I've decided if I publicly befuddle people for my own amusement, that's all of the fun and none of the guilt. Today, after work, I put this theory to practice.
I went to my neighborhood Von's Supermarket, purchased a few items, and walked toward the exit with a group of random strangers. As we walked past the ever-present bank branch, I spotted a posted ad and read it aloud: "'Stop in for milk, bread, and nest eggs.'" I laughed and read it again, then said to a couple trying their best to avoid me, "See what they did there? That's quite clever. They said 'nest eggs' because the bank is in a grocery store. It's a pun."
The woman, to her credit I suppose, chuckled politely, but the man gave me a look that was an odd combination of hatred, confusion, and fear.
I might have to do this more often.
I went to my neighborhood Von's Supermarket, purchased a few items, and walked toward the exit with a group of random strangers. As we walked past the ever-present bank branch, I spotted a posted ad and read it aloud: "'Stop in for milk, bread, and nest eggs.'" I laughed and read it again, then said to a couple trying their best to avoid me, "See what they did there? That's quite clever. They said 'nest eggs' because the bank is in a grocery store. It's a pun."
The woman, to her credit I suppose, chuckled politely, but the man gave me a look that was an odd combination of hatred, confusion, and fear.
I might have to do this more often.
20 Comments:
Todd, you are sick, sick man.
I think I love you. :P
Howie Mandel?
Welcome to my world.
dude, that shit is right up my alley. I do that kind of thing all the time. Annoying strangers is like my meditation.
Keep it up! I love doing this kind of thingjust to watch people squirm.
Some guys are so fat, I wonder how they can take a leak without pissing all over themselves...and how do thay ever get any puss? Jeez, I'm regressing this morning.
Amusing yourself in public is good.
Playing with yourself in public is very bad.
Do not under any circumstances get the two confused!
ladybug,
I'm only sick when I'm awake.
egan,
Few who've compared me to Howie Mandell have lived to tell the tale.
mshellion,
can I still wear short pants?
nick,
someone will probably shoot me.
vixen,
happy? Never!
cherry,
I have to be in the right mood.
porch,
they usually have the motorized wheelchairs, so I'm assuming they're hooked up to a colostomy bag.
bawlz,
no, you are the awesome one.
ruben,
thanks, man.
lou reed,
sure, send one over.
tlsd,
thanks for the advice.
Hmmm, was I making a comparison?
Maybe he was offering you Howie Mandell. Perhaps Egan has Howie locked up in his basement and he was looking to unload the wiley canadian on you.
Or maybe he has a Howie Mandell Pez dispenser and instead of offering Pezm he simply says Howie Mandell.
i like the second option. you know the pez would be especially clean coming from a howie mandell dispenser. i can get behind that.
you should have kept saying it over and over, looking around at people and asking if they get it.
Next you can get into and elevator a stand really close to the one other person already in there...and...that's all I got right now.
I love it.
I love to do that too. It's the only joy I have in doing everything alone.
I would've laughed at you and joined in.
Todd, that *is* pretty clever. I agree with Katarina - the only thing cooler than finding creatively-used words is being able to share them with someone.
Today is the day that Jesus comes and delivers candy to all the good little boys and girls. If he sees his shadow it's six more years until the rapture.
egan,
either way, I'll most likely let you live.
nick,
I think he was just throwing out the names of famous Canadians on random blogs. As long as they aren't French-Canadian...
kendra,
unfortunately I was sober, so saying it once was hard enough.
mung,
after my tirade on the guy who invaded my personal space, I'd better not do that.
kat,
I would have been too distracted by your boobs to think of anything to say.
violet,
you're right...it is all about the sharing.
nick,
I'm sure Jesus really hates having to use his powers of omnipresence to simultaneously be in every shopping mall on earth dressed in a bunny suit.
Brian Orser
Neil Young!
By the way Nick and Todd, I loved that you guys tried to figure this out. I think Mr. Mandel's name just popped in my head because that lame NBC show he hosts. Nothing more, but I love your hypothesis.
oh, me me, I wanna try it! thanks for the fun tip!!
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