Monday, April 10, 2006
Elvis Has Consumed the Building


The man pictured is Pete "Big Elvis" Vallee, a five-hundred pound Elvis impersonator who works on the Las Vegas Strip. The other creature is obviously the decomposing corpse of Strom Thurmond, exhumed and dressed in female garb for this occasion.

I mention Big Elvis because I was reading something in the Las Vegas Weekly the other day that caught my eye. A local ambulance company reports that in the past six months they've had approximately seventy-five runs in which the person they had to transport to the hospital weighed over six-hundred pounds. That's Big Elvis and a supermodel, folks. It's enough to make the ambulance company invest in a new ultra capacity model to handle its more porcine clientele. No lie.

Of course, some of those were probably repeat customers. My guess is if you weigh six-hundie, you most likely spend a lot of time at the hospital. I thought about that story this past Friday and while two of my friends went to In-n-Out for lunch, I opted for a salad with the dressing on the side. The way I like food, if I don't watch it, in a few years that's me without the ability to carry a tune.

Despite the title of this post, which I meant as a joke, this is not a personal attack on Big Elvis. I saw him interviewed in the local media and he seems like a nice man who enjoys what he does. But does he have to eat himself to an early grave to satisfy a bizarre marketing niche? Learn more about the legend that is Big Elvis at www.bigelvis.biz

Note: For those of you who don't read blogs on the weekend, scroll down and join the anti-Tom Cruise bandwagon.


14 Comments:

Blogger Phain said...

ooooh scary... Granny reminds me of that puppet "Madame" that used to appear on Solid Gold!!

Blogger Cherry! said...

This has inspired me to get back into fitness mode.

Blogger katarina said...

I need to get some lettuce.

Blogger tlsd said...

So, is that his girlfriend?
*shudder*

I may never eat again. Ok, that's a lie.

He should be employed by weight watchers as a deterrent for those tempted by the lure of burgers and pizza...

ps: I'm sure he is a very nice man but dead men can't sing...

Blogger Princess Steph said...

when I was at the hospital last week I was being chatted up by a male RN who twice that day had to help load 600 lb people into an ambulance. WTF?

crazy.

That lady in the picture DOES look like the Solid Gold puppet - good call le chat.

Blogger JJ said...

Actually, those are the clothes Strom was buried in. You know how conservatives are.

Blogger megan said...

that woman is disturbing.. i think i can actually smell the death coming from her.

Blogger Claudia said...

I feel sad. I just read this post after an evening where I completely binged on not one, but two pogo sticks, leftover noodles, pasta, chocolate chip cookies and doritos. Oh maryjane, why must you give me the munchies...?

Blogger miss kendra said...

i heart elvis in all his many forms.

When you get a cholesterol test done and the score is "Bacon," you know you're in trouble. By the way, is that the reanimated body of Rose Kennedy?

Blogger Ilovebawlz said...

I've actually never seen that guy. Heard of him, never seen him.

Blogger yournamehere said...

le chat,
she is Madame, with the gay man's hand up her ass.

cherry,
nothing will ever inspire me to do all that, but I am staying on my diet.

kat,
I like salads, actually.

tlsd,
I think they got it on after the show.

steph,
I'm glad Vegas doesn't have a monopoly on the hyper-obese.

jj,
the J. Edgar Hoover syndrome.

megan,
and that smell never goes away.

claudia,
you smoke the wacky tobacky? For shame!!

kendra,
even this form?

vast,
maybe the Crypt Keeper is a tranny.

bawlz,
I would guess his show wouldn't be your cup of tea.

Blogger Jo said...

I really wanted to go to Big Elvis's website, but you didn't make a link out of it and I was too lazy to cut and paste.

Blogger Hulkster said...

Kinda gives new meaning to the discussion of "Fat Elvis" vs. "Skinny Elvis."

I just hope in the name of all that's holy that Big Elvis doesn't incorporate any hip-swivelling into his act...

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