Friday, March 31, 2006
All Hail Mayor Oscar!


Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce to you Las Vegas mayor Oscar Goodman (he's the one in the middle). No mayor on earth has more fun than this fucker. And he's a former mob lawyer. Seriously, he played himself in the movie Casino; he represented the real-life mobsters played in the film by Robert Deniro and Joe Pesci. A mob lawyer is now the mayor of Las Vegas. HAHAHA!!

Here are but a few of his "highlights" since I moved here in October 2002.

-He floated the idea of turning downtown Vegas into a Thailand-style "red light district" of legal, state-licensed brothels and sex shops (kind of like it is now, only the city would collect taxes on it).

-He proposed that all people convicted of graffiti have their thumbs cut off. That may seem harsh, but it also greatly reduces the amount of hitchhiking.

-He was talking to a local third-grade class, and when one of the kids asked him what he'd take to a deserted island, he replied "A bottle of gin." Oscar likes his gin; he even did a local ad for Bombay Sapphire. He donated the money to charity, but still....the mayor did a gin advert.

-He has a monthly meet and greet with Las Vegas residents called "Martinis with the Mayor". And yes, his honor does indeed listen to the concerns of the average citizen while getting plastered.

Oscar is my kind of mayor. Sure, I officially live in Henderson, but I work in Las Vegas, and since I have no idea who Henderson's non-attention-seeking anonymous mayor is, I'll claim Oscar. Bottoms up.



26 Comments:

Blogger n.v. said...

Is he Jewish? Is the sky blue?

Blogger n.v. said...

I'm gonna have some cheesecake now.

Your blog makes me so heppy!

Oscar is cool! I'm trying to get him to help me pass a law that would allow me to smite anyone who slights me in the least. I just don't think he shares my reactionary view of the world. Did you know he's trying to make "Gin and Juice" the official anthem of Vegas? I think the Richard Cheese version would work best. I only wish he'd come over to the right from the dark side. Damned bleeding heart lib.

Blogger Nick said...

we just elected a democratic mexican as mayor. He's a stone cold pimp. Better than the douchebag before. He and his cronies lined their coffers for years with the city's money and when he got caught all they asked him to do was not run for re-election. If I were in politics I could be a professional thief too.

Blogger FRITZ said...

Reason 154 Fritz could not live in Las Vegas.

Oscar.

mmmmfff. While I know it's all fun and games in Las Vegas, I seriously have to question the ethics of this dude.

Of course, my 'liberal arts' education consisted of me getting drunk with a whole bunch of preists. Then, we played pool.

So, who am I to judge?

Blogger Karen said...

Oscar's definitely a colorful character for us. You forgot to mention that he's the main reason we are going to have a state of the art Alzheimer's Research Center, where all the great minds of the world will congregate to wipe out that damn blight.

Blogger Brookelina said...

That's it. I'm moving to Vegas.

Blogger Knitty Kitty said...

If I did an advert for Bombay could I get free gin?

Blogger tlsd said...

I won a bottle of gin yesterday... boy, am I a happy ladeeee.

I nominate Todd for mayor of Vegas... I can just see Todd sipping cocktails with a showgirl on each arm...

Blogger AMS said...

Oscar is a legend in fairness...the rest of us can only aspire

Blogger The real me said...

Well, at least the guy is real!

Blogger solethoughts said...

That's it. I'm moving and I will become his underboss.

Blogger JJ said...

So can you ask him to get some guy whacked? Cause I know you got a list.

Blogger Übermilf said...

I wonder if I'd get arrested if I went everywhere in a showgirl outfit.

Blogger ginonymous said...

i just realized that if you flip those words around, it's Oscar Mayor.

am i the only dork who thinks that's funny?

and nick's right. the mayor here is a pimp, a mexican democrat in the middle of kansas! it's like the fifth sign of the apocalypse.

Blogger yournamehere said...

dena,
at least someone's heppy.

vast,
only you would describe someone who wants to cut off thumbs as a "bleeding heart lib."

nick,
Kentucky elected a Republican governor for the first time in years because the last Democratic gov was a crook, and it turns out the Republican's a crook too. Big surprise.

fritz,
ethics? Does he employ family and friends? You betcha. But I don't think he steals because he doesn't need the money. He got plenty defending vicious murderers back in the day.

vixen,
Isn't he also responsible for the expansion of the Elvis museum?
Just kidding. Actually, I wasn't aware of that; but I'm glad his flamboyance is doing some good.

brooke,
we can get married by a Klingon at the Star Trek wedding chapel.

knitty,
if you were the Mayor of Las Vegas you would. Or you could find a bar I'm in and ask me to buy you a drink. I wouldn't be able to refuse you.

tlsd,
no, I'd spend most of my time on vacation.

Blogger yournamehere said...

ams,
Oscar sets the bar high!

real me,
yeah, real drunk.

sole,
can you get me into Jet?

jj,
I'd be afraid I'd offend him in some way and then I'd get whacked.

ubie,
would you get arrested if you went everywhere in a showgirl outfit?
In Las Vegas: No.
In your suburb of Chicago: Yes.

gin,
Oscar Mayor will get by with m-a-r-t-i-n-i

Blogger Spirit Of Owl said...

I wonder if I'd get arrested if I went everywhere in a showgirl outfit.

Blogger Knitty Kitty said...

I could use a drink... Its 5 minutes to noon on a Saturday, is that sad?

Blogger Blonde said...

At least he isn't smoking crack like the Mayor of DC.

Blogger Livia said...

Lesson about the Mayor of LV. He orginally was a Beefeater drinker but switched to Bombay Sapphire because Beefeater wouldn't make him their spokesperson. Bombay Sapphire has gotten more exposure because of him then in any other advertising they have done.

I learned that in bartending class.

Here's a link about it: http://www.lasvegassun.com/sunbin/stories/archives/2002/may/17/513460412.html?Bombay+Sapphire+gin

Blogger mastershake said...

ooh havnt been here in a while, but then ive been preforming a terrible injustice to myself lately; seriouly check it out and tell me if i should seek advice from the doctor, please

Blogger Crazy Lady said...

Oscar is very cool, and also a very nice guy. I think we are doing pretty good to have such an eccentric, balls out guy looking after our city. Besides, does any other mayor get to travel with his own show girls? I don't think so!

Blogger Ilovebawlz said...

lol, I've had martinis with him...on several occasions.

I've been a guest in his swanky office too.

He's loads of fun!

Blogger Gef said...

It's too bad there are not more people on the net like you.
Thanks for the great tips.

Sean Cody

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