Monday, March 20, 2006
Sleeping with the enemy...


Once again, sports have served to highlight the depths of my hypocrisy. Damn.

Several seasons ago, when he was with the San Francisco 49ers, Terrell Owens scored a touchdown against my beloved Dallas Cowboys and celebrated on their star in the middle of the field. It was a typically classless, horseshit act, and a giant "Fuck you" to the Cowboy players, coaches, and fans.

I saw this act on television as it happened. To say I reacted negatively to this celebration would be an understatement. I wished death upon Terrell Owens that day, as well as disfiguring illnesses to his mother, siblings, and girlfriend. There were over fifty-thousand Cowboys fans in the stadium, and I shouted "Pussies!" at the top of my lungs when they let Owens leave the stadium with his miserable life.

Well, guess who signed with the Dallas Cowboys the other day? Uh-huh, Terrell motherfucking Owens. He's one of the best receivers in the league and the Cowboys desperately needed him. I'll keep repeating that until I actually believe it.

You know, why not use this scumbag's talents for a year before he becomes the team cancer I know he truly is? If the Cowboys don't sign him, someone will. Once again, I'm trying to convince myself that my favorite pro sports team didn't sell its soul to the devil for a playoff appearance.

Next season, whenever Terrell Owens scores a touchdown for the Cowboys and humiliates his opponents to call further attention to himself, I'm sure I'll be leading the cheers. And for that, I am already ashamed.

Just for my own amusement, however, I'm going to post this picture:

This is former Cowboy George Teague, knocking Owens off of the Star. I wish he would have hit him harder, but the thought was there.



19 Comments:

Blogger Dan-E said...

i'm a diehard 49ers fan and even though i don't like the cowboys (america's team my ass) i also thought that dance of his was classless. funny, but classless. i was quite happy when he was traded.

he's your tumor now but i will say that if there's any coach that might be able to handle owens, it's parcells.

Blogger Princess Steph said...

Well since he will be here in Dallas do you want me to seduce him and then do evil things to him while he sleeps? Give me some suggestions....

I would do that for you Todd, but only for you. The rest of these Cowboys fans are cunt-faced idiots.

Blogger afromabq said...

HAH (she says in her evil spirited way). You know how I feel and who I love!

Blogger JJ said...

I think he would have been justified tearing TO's head right off his shoulders. He may have good hands but he's caused more trouble than he's worth for every team he's been on.

Blogger tlsd said...

The spangley gold latex pants are haunting me...

Whilst I thrilled at the picture showing Teague attempting to knock Owens head off,(ged in there my son- said in cockney accent) the ass in the air detracted somewhat from the overall enjoyment.

I feel nauseous...

Blogger Egan said...

I can see why you're perplexed about this. He's a grade A prick who knows it. I really can't stand the guy either. I was afraid he was coming to Seattle. He's a real pain in the ass to say it mildly.

Well the Mariners got his close arrogant cousin, Carl Everett. This should make for another forgettable season for our baseball team.

Blogger Snap said...

Dale Hansen is on WFAA and theses are his opinions on the Terrell Owens and they reminded me of your comments.


The Cowboys can't win enough games to make me enjoy a team that has Terrell Owens catching passes.

The Cowboys say this is such a good signing because it will open up the passing game for Terry Glenn and tight end Jason Witten... even the running game for Julius Jones.

It better not open it up much, or Owens won't be happy again.

This is a man who complained they didn't throw him the ball in San Francisco enough, when they were throwing it to the best receiver who has ever played the game instead.

I'm in favor of giving anybody a second chance, but Owens had his second chance in Philadelphia... and told them the same thing he's telling us now.

Think about this: A league that tolerates just about anything if a man can play, and the two teams he played for tell Owens to go away.

You use illegal drugs? No problem.

Sell drugs and spend time in jail? Come on back.

Beat up women? It's simply a "domestic dispute."

Lie to police about your friend killing a guy in a parking lot? They make you player of the year in this league.

But two teams tell Owens to go away.

This isn't about being a perfect man. You put 50 guys in a room, I guarantee you there will be some bad guys. That's true in Congress, any state house or city council, and most of our churches.

I've only even heard of one perfect man,, and he was left to die hanging on a cross. (Now, if you're Jewish, he may not have been the only perfect man, but that's what I was taught).

I break somebody's rule every day (think I just broke one right there), and on a good day, I break four or five of them. But it's incredible to me that Jerry Jones—who told us just weeks ago that Cowboys assistant coach Tony Sparano couldn't take a job in New Orleans to better his coaching career because he had a contract, and the Cowboys expected him to honor that—will give Owens $10 million this year because he wouldn't honor his contract in Philadelphia.

The man has no honor, and the Cowboys don't, either.

Jones says a leopard can change his spots, and I thought maybe they could when Jones passed on drafting Randy Moss.

He told us then he gets it. Character counts.

But nine years without a single playoff win and apparently character doesn't count much anymore.

And the spots are back.

A football coach who spends as much time thinking and talking about retirement as he does coaching this team, and now a player who thinks "team" is a four-letter word never to be used by him.

That's what Jones has given you to support, and most of you will.

We're hearing again—much like we did in '89 when Jones bought the team and fired Tom Landry—you will never watch or cheer the Cowboys again, but most of you will.

And for those of you who don't, somebody else will take your place.

Terrell Owens

How long before T.O.’s first blowup?

Training camp


First half of season


Second half of season


No problem. He’ll be a choirboy.




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Jones was telling us back then—and says it all the time—he's a risk-taker. He says buying the Cowboys was a risk.

No, it wasn't.

You could put every single NFL owner who has lost money owning an NFL team in a phone booth, and there'd still be room for me to make a call.

A phone booth, incidentally, used to be on street corners so you could call somebody; we didn't have cell phones.

I know, it was a different world. And I think in many ways, it was a better world. Not in every way, by any means, but there used to be a respect for the game and a respect for the fan that just isn't there anymore.

The rain that falls tonight are the tears of Tom Landry and Clint Murchison watching what Jerry Jones has done to their once-proud organization.

The Cowboys used to be America's Team, and with Terrell Owens they may be again.

But if they are—if this is the game America's Team plays and the players who play it—it says a great deal about us as a people.

And it embarrasses me.

We used to expect more. We always wanted our team to win, but we wanted to win the right way; win with class and dignity. Not every team, not every fan, but most of us did.

We expected that and sometimes demanded that.

Why don't we now?

Blogger MsHellion said...

Did we learn nothing from Dennis Rodman?

Blogger Cincysundevil said...

I never knew you were a Cowboy fan. Wow, I'm just stunned. I think I need a moment.



OK .... better now. I somehow figured you might have that soft spot for the Colts or the Bengals considering where you grew up. But, signing T.O. is not a good move. Bledsoe will need some outstanding protection to put the ball in T.O.'s hands or you'll soon enough hear about him bagging on the Pokes. It seems to me either Parcells knows how to rope in Ownes or he is truly getting desparate to win. Unfortunately for Dallas fans, I think it's the latter.

Blogger Blonde said...

I am a diehard lover of TO.

You may hate him, but he could be the missing link to the Cowboys going all the way this year.

Will you still wish horrible illness if he took you guys to the Bowl?????

Blogger Todd said...

Terrell Owens is a douche and will do nothing to help Dallas. If I were a GM and I didn't like my job, the very best T.O would get is a one year incentive-laden deal. Honestly, how long until he starts talking bad about Bledsoe and Parcells?

Blogger Karen said...

This is going to be one of those "Ooo I can't watch but can't look away" scenarios.

It's either going to be SOSDD, or T-O will surprise us all.

I can't wait for football to start!

Blogger Rachel said...

LMAO at T.O. getting his shit knocked off that star and am pissed that anybody signed his dumb, cocky, showboating ass but WTF do I know?

At least he didn't go to the Pats, I'd have been hella pissed then.


Lovin' you, sorry I couldn't talk earlier but I should be around tonight sometime.

Blogger Brookelina said...

Owens represents everything that's wrong with sports today. Arrogant, greedy, and totally without class. I can't wait for Parcells to give him the ass-kicking he so rightly deserves.

You are a Dallas fan? Really?

Blogger Übermilf said...

I can't ... believe... Cowboy's fan...

Oh, Todd, how could you??!!

(Running from room, slamming door, throwing self upon bed, sobbing)

Blogger yournamehere said...

dan,
The term "America's Team" was coined by NFL Films back in the 1970s, not by the Dallas Cowboys. They just ran with it.

princess,
I want you to seduce me, damn it.

afromabq,
I wonder who that is?

jj,
yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.

tlsd,
don't be sick, my dear; it will be all right.

egan,
Carl Everett, huh? We're all fucked.

snap,
the glory days of sports are long gone. And they ain't coming back.

mshellion,
I learned that tall men shouldn't wear white wedding dresses.

Blogger yournamehere said...

cincy,
I have a soft spot for the Bengals, but not the Colts, really. They were the Baltimore Colts when I was a kid.

blonde,
I stopped wishing illnesses on him the day after the star incident; I just lost my temper that day. But I can't help but think he's a jerk.

todd,
the best thing is there are no guaranteed contracts in football. They can cut him after a year if they need to.

vixen,
I love football, but I'm enjoying college basketball right now.

rachel,
Deion Branch of the Pats played at the University of Louisville. He was good, but I never thought he'd be Super Bowl MVP.

brooke,
don't hate me because I'm a Dallas fan, and because I hate the Giants. Don't get me started on that spoiled fuck Eli Manning. "I don't wanna be drafted by San Diego." Fuck off, that's why it's called a "draft".

ubie,
don't cry. I hate the Yankees.

Blogger solethoughts said...

As a niner fan myself I got a kick out of it when he did that to the star. Yes it was the ultimate defacing on God's team but hey he was a niner. I'm so glad he's your problem now. It won't be long before he has Parcells longing for Keyshawn Johnson.

Blogger Nick said...

I fucking hate Dallas.

Is that better?

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