Thursday, March 30, 2006
"My name is Todd, and I am a fattie..."
This is the infamous 100x100 Burger from In-n-Out. Yes, that's one hundred beef patties and one hundred slices of cheese. Tuesday night I was on my way to devour a much smaller version of this culinary masterpiece when I had what alcoholics call a "moment of clarity", caused mainly by my stomach and my jeans fighting for space and my stomach kicking some serious ass. So, for the first time in three weeks, I went to my Weight Watchers meeting. Yes, I have regained some of my lost pounds, but this served as a major wake up call and now I'm back to depriving myself of everything in life that gives me joy. Hurray!!!

I felt like the town drunk sitting in that meeting with all of the other porcine seat-fillers, knowing the things that make me happy are slowly killing me; except the town drunk is probably a skinny guy who gets laid every now and then.

One of the members reached his goal weight at the meeting. He lost sixty-five pounds, and he's a short, small-framed man, so that's a hell of a lot of poundage. It was kind of inspiring, to be honest. If I ever reach my goal weight, I'm going to ask if any of the ladies want to sleep with an honest-to-god thin dude. That should endear me to the group.


38 Comments:

You're liable to get more poon than you could handle in a week if you make that offer at the meeting. Careful what you offer up to ze ladies.

Blogger Phain said...

***hugs from Kitty***

Blogger diadima said...

ditch weight watchers.

there are chubby-chasers everywhere who would line up for you. that way you don't have to be deprived of everything that gives you joy AND get laid once in a while. perfect combo.

Blogger tlsd said...

Todds... well done babes!!!! I'm so proud of you!

I have to say that burger picture made me sick-up my breakfast... urgh.

... and just think how much more energy you'll have for those marathon sex sessions when you've lost a few more pounds... *wink wink*

*hugs n' kisses*

Blogger katarina said...

""My name is Todd, and I am a fattie...""

WE LOVE YOU TODD.

I told you many times, that stuff doesn't matter. You're a great guy with a masterful sense of humor.
Diadima was right.

I'll be in line if you need me.

Blogger The DogGrrrrl said...

I'd make the trip. You'd deserve a reward after that ordeal!

Blogger The DogGrrrrl said...

I wonder if those burgers stack up neatly like that in your colon...

Blogger Nick said...

Doggurrrrl made me throw up.

Blogger aughra said...

I am so glad that you had your moment of clarity. I'm proud of you.

Blogger AWE said...

Next time take a burger and fries with you, tell them that talking about weight loss makes you hungry.

Blogger Cherry! said...

You should just offer up sex at the weight watchers meetings as a form of exercise. It would burn fat and maybe help you acheive your goal faster.

Love you, Toddles. Anytime you want yet another fawning blog-friend to liven you out of Vegass glum, let moi know.

Also, I really really have to get back on the diet and elliptical horse again. I can't even pull out the boyfriend excuse anymore.

Blogger Anna said...

I struggle with my weight as well - recently, I found this guy, Paul McKenna who wrote a book called, "I Can Make You Thin".

Pick it up if you can, or google him for more info - it sure has made a huge difference in my life...

Blogger Übermilf said...

I love you for you.

Blogger miss kendra said...

i think that burger would kill people.

and i like todd for todd, not for the skinny deprived todd inside him.

Blogger solethoughts said...

Wow that burger is one aorta short of triple bypass.

Blogger ginonymous said...

todd: the picture was unnecessary. oh my god. 'course, i ate hot dog pizza for din last night.

i battle with my body all the time, all the time. i can't seem to get to where i think i should be and the fact is, i look okay. we're all screwed in this respect, i think. so what you need to, and what makes you feel (maybe not "good" but..) right.

as evidenced from the comments on your blog, and your blog itself, there's more to what's attractive than just what something looks like. laughs go a long way. i'm still enamored over the crack baby thing.

Blogger Karen said...

Henderson, I'm with the choir here: you're fine as you are, and that's from someone that's never seen you.

I'm overweight as well, and I didn't start losing weight until I finally said to myself that I love me as is. If someone else doesn't, that's tough caca for them. I'm a damn fine woman to know. And you're a damn fine man to know.

Blogger Rachel said...

Honey, you already know what I think.

However, if you want me to tell you again and again just call me.

Lovin' you!

Blogger tlsd said...

Todds... it goes without saying (although I will just in case I need to) that the more Todd there is to love the more love you get... and I'm lovin' every bit of you.

Blogger little ol' me? said...

Personally, I like a man with some meat on his bones. Keeps me warm at night!

Blogger yournamehere said...

andi,
no, regardless of my weight, I ooze non-sexy.

le chat,
thanks, sweets.

diadima,
there are men chubby chasers. Women, not so much.

tlsd,
that picture makes me hungry.

kat,
please step to the front of the line.

doggrrrl,
how about a little encouragement DURING the process? And by "encouragement" I mean "dirty sex".

nick,
wuss.

aughra,
thanks, my dear. Everyone has to die, but why was I encouraging the grim reaper?

awe,
that's all I need, to get beat up by a mob of heavyweights.

cherry,
there are a few ladies there I'd like to "help out" with their weight loss, but like all women who've actually met me, they want nothing to do with me.

Blogger yournamehere said...

monkey mc,
of course I want you as a friend. Why wouldn't I?

anna,
thanks a lot. I'll check it out.

ubie,
you are so much better than the world, my friend.

gin,
hot dog pizza? Send a recipe. How many weight watchers points is it?

vixen,
I'll never be cut or ripped or whatever. I just want to be less fat.

rachel,
I'm going to call you and hear what you think.

tlsd,
way too much of me to love right now, babe.

little ol',
you would be a little too warm at this point.





miss kendra,
both todd and the skinny deprived todd are tired of being alone (and neither of them want a heart attack).

sole,
yeah, I get a double-double and some fries and that fills me up.

Blogger Princess LadyBug said...

Todd, I'm proud of you for doing what you really feel is right. I've weight has yo-yo'd my whole life. I'm not kidding. I've been on a diet since I was 5 years old. So I understand your struggle with your weight. And your struggle with a double cheeseburger. (OF COURSE I want fries with that!)

If you ever need someone to talk to about the struggle, I'm here. Seriously, email me and I'll send you my cell phone number.

Now having said all that I feel the need to also say that I think you are funny, intelligent, sexy, and cute just as you are. If I lived in Vegas, I'd be begging you to go out with me. Do you like a woman on her knees? :P

Blogger Egan said...

Todd, hang in there man. You can do it. If all else fails there's the professional eating circuit you can join. Those guys make more bucks than poker players on ESPN.

Todd,

I know I haven't been a very positive influence lately. I promise to change that bro. I've declared war on myself, as I want to get back to my 2000 self. I'll help you in any way you need.

Blogger Hulkster said...

Anyone else see that burger and think of Comic Book Guy with a wheelbarrow full of tacos saying, "This should provide adequate sustenance for the Dr. Who marathon..."?

Blogger Todd said...

Good job Todd. Keep at it.

Blogger Brookelina said...

Is it wrong that I am totally turned on right now?

Blogger yournamehere said...

ladybug,
yeah, "Do you want fries with that" has to be the dumbest question ever.

egan,
those contests are always won by ninety pound Asians.

vast,
you were a real health Nazi back in the day.

hulkster,
I love Comic book guy. "It is a very rare Mary Worth, in which she advises a friend to commit suicide."

todd,
thanks, dude. I will.

brooke,
no. I'll buy you this hamburger if I have to.

Blogger FRITZ said...

Hello,my name is Elizabeth Anne Fritz, and I am also a member of Weight Watchers.

Funny, I just did a whole post on being fat.

Good for you for your moment of clarity. I, for one, know what a bitch it is to let go of crutches.

If only I could shake the heroin.







I'm only kidding.

Blogger Secret said...

Todd honey, do you have a third eye? Hideously disfigured? No, really, You are a great writer and have a wonderful sense of humor and I'm sure that there are many women who would love to be with you. Give your self a break (and a cheeseburger, maybe not as big as the one pictured) Smile enjoy being YOU! I really would love to meet ya in May when I'm there. We share the same type of outlook on life. Let me know. Teri~

Blogger JJ said...

Is there any way you can have a "blow it" day once or twice a week to let off the steam? That's what I do and I find it has helped me be good on the other days. That and a lot of scotch.

Blogger Blonde said...

I think it is wonderful that you went back! However, you don't have to deprive yourself of anything if you manage your points right.

I happen to know for a fact that you can pick up like a champ. Why do you make it sound like you can't?

Blogger MoDigli said...

looking at that 100X100 kills my desire for burgers.
I saw pictures (somewhere on the net) of a group who actually ordered and ate one of those.

The pics were sick. Some of the patties weren't even fully cooked cause they had to cook so fast. I've heard that in-n-out won't actually do the 100X100 anymore for just that reason, too. It's bad publicity. Have you heard anything about that?

Blogger n.v. said...

Christing fuck, Modigli -- who's emaciated collarbone is that?

Blogger 太陽˙眼鏡 said...
Blogger 太陽˙眼鏡 said...

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