Yes, it's a small, run down stage with bad lighting and a poor sound system, but it's a stage nonetheless. Blogger is the open-mic night of written expression; everyone is invited and the results will vary.
This is my way of saying I know I have no right to bitch so much, but I'm not going to stop. It's cheaper than therapy, and I don't think as many people would read this blog if it suddenly went bitch-free. Here is an example of viva las veg-everythingisjustswell:
I had some pizza today. I like pizza.
That's it. That would be the entire blog. Did you like it? I didn't think so. So I, a white male American, am going to continue to complain like there are flies buzzing around me and Sally Struthers is using my pet sheep as a tampon.
I'm going to bitch like my wife is going on a ski trip with Bill Clinton.
I'm going to whine like I went to the hospital for routine surgery and woke up with a pierced clitoris.
And there will be bad language.
This is my way of saying I know I have no right to bitch so much, but I'm not going to stop. It's cheaper than therapy, and I don't think as many people would read this blog if it suddenly went bitch-free. Here is an example of viva las veg-everythingisjustswell:
I had some pizza today. I like pizza.
That's it. That would be the entire blog. Did you like it? I didn't think so. So I, a white male American, am going to continue to complain like there are flies buzzing around me and Sally Struthers is using my pet sheep as a tampon.
I'm going to bitch like my wife is going on a ski trip with Bill Clinton.
I'm going to whine like I went to the hospital for routine surgery and woke up with a pierced clitoris.
And there will be bad language.
32 Comments:
Your blog is the first one I chcek every day. Whatever you cunting do, don't change the content.
Are you kidding me?
Your blog is like the best thing since sliced children.
"And there will be bad language."... did I miss the use of the word cunt??? I couldn't cunting find it anywhere...
I do however like the fact that every cunting comment so far has included it...
*smirk*
YAY! BAD LANGUAGE!!
My day is complete.
What kind of pizza was it?
Don't leave me hangin'.
You should add more pictures.
I had a pierced clit for breakfast this morning.
I look forward to reading your words every day. It makes my whole day. Don't change a thing.
You seem so sad, lately, though :(. I hope that everything is ok...
You wouldn't bitch about the pierced clitoris. Or so I hear.
And I had pizza yesterday. I like pizza.
And cake. I love cake.
I routinely pay people to piss you off. That guy bitching about how nobody speaks Spanish at the Home Depot: $50. Your outraged response: priceless.
Please continue to bitch, whine and use bad language. Otherwise my hope for decent human beings who are enraged by the world as much as I am is crushed forever!
I save your blog until last because it is my favorite! Don't change a cunting thing!
Thank god for that.
Sheep as a tampon. What an image. You are truly gifted.
i also think there should be more pictures.
also, you should send samples of vegas to all your readers, complete with a quarter, a watered down well drink and the aura of hopeful misery.
Holy cunt batman, I wouldn't come here if you didn't bitch about Vegas or whine about being single! As long as I know someone else out there wakes up alone and horny...I can't keep on living!
Besides, nobody can do it in the creative and entertaining way you do.
That should have been "can" keep on living...I'm an idiot!
You're my favorite bitch. Keep it up.
You couldn't find a therapist that would keep you, right?
Twat.
If my day doesn't include reading your cunting blog, then trust me, it's not a good day.
I'll be your therapist ;)
cherry,
I may make it a third more cuntier, if that's alright with you.
vixen,
I usually choose to bitch.
fritz,
I'm kind of afraid of you.
todd,
I hear pierced clit goes well with sliced children.
tlsd,
cunt is in the eye of the beholder.
kat,
That was an example. There was no pizza. And I would only leave you hanging if it involved a harness and some baby oil.
ubie,
there are pictures when pictures are necessary, and none when they aren't.
nick,
you don't scare me so much.
blonde,
I am very sad, and utterly defeated by life. Now, who wants a Fresca?
andi,
if I had the pierced clit, I'd bitch.
violet,
would you pay someone to shoot me in the head?
your anti,
a mere technicality.
cincy,
will do.
shelly,
thanks.
princess steph,
can the bad language describe what I'd like to do with you?
jess,
no, you're the gifted one. May I ad you to the list of female bloggers I'm in love with?
kendra,
what you request takes far too much time, energy and postage.
tumbleweed,
we should wake up together and still horny from the night before.
jj,
just keepin' the pimp hand strong, huh?
awe,
I've never been to therapy. Unless you have a chemical imbalance therapy is a leisure class luxury.]
brooke,
you always know just what to say.
little ol',
if you're my therapist will you break the doctor-patient code by givin' me some good lovin'?
bad language, shakespeare- what's the diff?
will there be nudity as well?
I personally check your blog every single day to see the new and wonderful ways you've discovered or invented to use the word cunt.
You are awesome and I enjoy being your groupie.
I've never been in a harness.
You'll be my first.
I also like the fact you respond, oh so virtuously, to your commentators.
I'm amazed that I instill fear in much of anyone. I'm still trying to figure out how to instill my vibrator batteries.
Gawd, I fucking hope so!!
And I'm well known for my brevity. Except when I'm drunk.
diadama,
there will be nudity if you submit a naked photo of yourself for publication. Otherwise, no.
ladybug,
thanks for the groupiedom.
kat,
I'm too horny to think of a reply.
fritz,
thank you, dear lady.
lucky,
embrace the cunt. Make it your own.
rachel,
when I think of your newest HNT picture, I begin to hyperventilate. Nice.
brooke,
does drinking also increase the chances of you sleeping with someone you aren't at all attracted to? Just wondering...
It's just like what makes a great columnist, Todd. Your own unique perspective is what mekes your blog great and certainly your unique modifications to the English language that should be taught in every university from Henderson to Holland.
It's c*nt-tastic!
We'll see how scared of me you are when I make a jogging suit of your skin.
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