Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Google AdSense Can Suck My Penoose
People have asked why I don't sell ad space on this blog. Well, now I have an answer for them. This blog was rejected by Google AdSense. The reason? Inappropriate language.

Profane language? Yes. Obscene language? Sure. Offensive language? Okay, if you're an old school marm from the Ozarks. But I object to the word "inappropriate". I say the language is APPROPRIATE for this blog, because it's my blog and I write what I want. I even warn easily offended pussy-ass bitchfucks to stay away, because I'm a sweetheart of a guy.

Despite my outreach to oversensitive nancycunts, Google AdSense chose to reject my blog, finding it too offensive to feature the ads for penile enlargement, mail-order fuckmates, and hard-on pills I see regularly on other sites. Let's not offend the delicate sensibilities of some hampster-hung doucheneck looking to introduce a kidnapped Asian minor to the joys of indentured servitude and hours of pharmaceutically-enhanced forced sex. Heaven for-cunting-bid.

I saw a blog today (one of my favorites) that featured Google AdSense, and the latest post contained the words "fuck" and "piss". In all fairness, that blog isn't as profane as mine, but everyone better watch out before the jackbooted thugs of AdSense decide all curse words (or all "dangerous" ideas, or all political thoughts) are forbidden.

Jesus on a trampoline, all I wanted to do was make a fucking nickel from this god damn albatross I call a blog. It doesn't matter anyway. Once I move I'll no longer have access to this borrowed computer, so my internet access will be sporadic at best.

Would someone do me a huge favor and email Adsense at adsense-support@google.com and tell them to fuck right off?


29 Comments:

Blogger Claudia said...

I think I may have been rejected as well. I had an ad on for like 3 seconds and now-vamoosh-gone.

Fuckers.

Blogger katarina said...

Guess you'll have to call me when you don't have web access.

Blogger Blonde said...

Damn Blogger AdSense!!

This is a perfect example of the CUNTIFICATION of America. For the love of twat, can't they see you are a rock star?

They make even more ridiculous decisions than this. I had a site that sold BB guns that they nixed Adsense from. Freakin' BB guns. But I tried to get even. I climbed a water tower near GooglePlex in California and fired round after round from my Daisy Red Ryder. You know, the kind Ralphie pined for like a little bitch in Christmas Story. Turns out I was too far away and the BBs fell harmlessly to the ground a few hundred feet from my intended victims. Either that, or, as I have long suspected, Google is surrounded by an impenetrable force field.

Blogger Jo said...

Okay people... we need to start a "Buy Todd A Puter Of His Very Own" fund. I will be so not amused if he can't blog cuz he doesn't have a computer.

Blogger Crazy Lady said...

What do those twatwaffles at AdSense know anyway? Screw 'em all!

Blogger Knitty Kitty said...

what I'm a I going to do while you are away? I have no cable!!

thank goodness for my vibrator

Blogger Brookelina said...

I think it's a conspiracy started by the people at American Idol. See, this is what you get for bucking the establishment. Next time try fucking the establishment.

And Kitty, don't thank goodness for your vibrator. Thank me.

Blogger ChiroMum said...

What the hell am I gonna do without your uplifiting blogs each morning? Phrases like "hamster-hung doucheneck" and "pussy ass bitchfucks" keep my coworkers living day to day. I'm w/Jo on the 'Buy Todd a Puter of His Very Own' fund.

Blogger aughra said...

I think you should be proud of this distinction!

Blogger AWE said...

You shouldn't have written about Hippies or one of their mothers is a cunt.

Blogger WunEyedDog said...

I think I'd actually be proud to be shot down by google adsense. It's a distinction of sorts.

Blogger Blonde said...

Seriously.....

We need to raise funds to get you a laptop. Where do we begin?

Blogger Shelly said...

Count me in on the computer fund. I cannot live without Todd's blog!

Blogger Rachel said...

You are just about too adorable darlin'

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

I'll send you a computer.

Blogger solethoughts said...

Jesus on trampoline always cracks me up. Don't be gone too long once you leave.

Blogger Stephanie said...

Done! E-mail sent


:)

Blogger Trix said...

http://www.mangosauce.com/about/google_kills_dissident_blog.php

Check out this guy's blog...AdSense dropped him, and the story is hilarious. He's gone at least 20 rounds with google. He's now using AdBrite. Just a thought.

Blogger tlsd said...

Todds... Told you! Smirk

So... am I the only one thats noticed the donate button...

I mean really 'fuck' and 'piss'... are kindergarden language in comparison.

Jesus on a trampoline... smirk

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

Make a nickel? That would have taken a while anyway.

Blogger JJ said...

It's really something when the internet's worst whores turn their noses up at you for speaking your mind. It's not like putting their ads on your site is going to lure 9 year old girls to read it.

Blogger myboyfriendiscrazy said...

Maybe if you'd had adsense you'd be able to have bought your own computer by now. Bastards.

Blogger Nick said...

I love that not only do you get rejected in real life you also get rejected on the internet.

Roffle, bitch.

Blogger Cold Hands said...

I was rejected as well. Just another thing to add to the 'ole resume.

What a bunch of nancypants whore licking assmunches. They should give you an award for the most creative linking of profane language because it is a valuable, audience-pleasing gift.

E-mailing now...

Blogger FRITZ said...

What the hell, Todd? Your blog is offensive? Profane? What?

I didn't get that fucking memo. Ad-Sense can go latch onto some donkey dick and catch a stream of knuckle babies, in my opinion.

In all honesty, your blog is one of decency sprinkled with colloquilisms. I appreciate your word-crafting. To use the word 'cunt' so many times in so many ways is genius.

There is no sense about Ad-Sense. I will buy my penis enlarger via some other ad program. You, meanwhile, remain my favorite cunt of the blog world.
I meant that in a good way.

Blogger Egan said...

Yep, you have to adhere to their code of conduct. Who the fuck wants to do that? That's not the point of blogging in my mind. Rat bastards.

Blogger IndependentGrl said...

I would love to know who nominated Google as the official internet police. There are millions of people seeking out sex chats and acts with youth, yet our govt and these big Internerd companies have nothing better to do with their time than monitor cell phone activity and bust those with inappropriate language. How 'bout going after the predators folks?

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