Right-Wing Douchebag of the Month

Don't look at this image of Pure Evil for too long, or you'll turn into a pillar of salt. This piece of human filth is Eugene Scalia, son of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia. He is the inaugural winner of the not-at-all-coveted vivalasvegASS Right-Wing Douchebag of the Month Award.

How did he do it? How did he beat out such stalwart right-wing douchebags as Karl Rove, Rush Limbaugh, and our own "president"? Well, it should be noted that Dick Cheney, as Douchebag Emeritus, is ineligible for the award; but that still left a stellar field to be vanquished by the son of Antonin Scalia (who's no sloutch in the douchebag department himself).

Eugene Scalia is a lawyer with one specialized focus: He represents large companies against workers in cases involving repetitive stress disorder.

Repetitive stress disorder is what happens to a human being when she, let's say, guts fish for eight hours a day, using the same motion over and over again. When these workers become crippled, Eugene Scalia swoops up from his home directly under Satan's nutsack and tries to get a refusal of any sort of worker's comp or benefits.

If that isn't enough to justify his lofty position in the Douchebag Rogue's Gallery, he is also an outspoken opponent of ergonomics, the study of how the human body reacts to work-related physical stress. He called it "junk science" in front of a joint session of Congress, despite the fact that he isn't a scientist, ignoring the views of every real scientist on the planet Earth. Eugene Scalia, well-educated and by all accounts highly intelligent, contends that repetitive motion doesn't cause stress-related injuries, so there's no need at all to adopt safety measures to prevent them.

In short, this sharp-minded man could have chosen any area of law and would have inevitably been rewarded handsomely. As the educated son of a Supreme Court justice, he could have named his price at any law firm in the country. Instead, Eugene Scalia has devoted his professional life to make damn sure impoverished, poorly-educated workers, the vast majority of whom are women, are held down and force-fucked by the sweat shop industries. For that, he is our Right-Wing Douchebag of the Month.

Oh, here's the punchline: From 2001 till 2003, Eugene Scalia was Chief Solicitor (Head Lawyer in Charge) for...yep, the Department of Labor. In other words, if your company fucked with you in those two years, you stayed fucked. Rumor has it if you filed a claim against a company when Labor's Worst Enemy was in charge of defending Labor, you got a letter in the mail which read "Claim denied. Welcome to Dick Cheney's America, motherfucker."