THE VARIOUS WAYS DIFFERENT TYPES OF PEOPLE REACT WHEN THEY HEAR I LIVE IN LAS VEGAS:
Perpetually stoned So Cal party guy: "Dude, Vegas is a non-stop party, bro. Seriously, bro, non-stop."
Impossibly pretty So Cal glamour girl: "My cousin flies there every weekend to work at a strip club."
World-weary poseur from back East: "Vegas...(exaggerated sigh)...what a cultural wasteland. Is it true they build casinos on top of graveyards?"
Socially conservative family man: "Branson, Missouri is just fine with me, thank you very much."
Perky girl who learned all she knows about Las Vegas from reality tv: "Aren't you too unattractive to live there?"
Fucking know-it-all douchebag: "Las Vegas should have depleted its water supply by the year 2012."
Midget: "Can you get me a job at Circus Circus?"
Mild-mannered Midwestern guy who kind of wants to visit Las Vegas but is a little apprehensive: "Is it true that bands of gypsies roam The Strip and steal babies right out of their strollers?"
Smarmy businessman who isn't nearly as clever as he thinks: "Whoa, 'What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas'; am I right?"
Woman who meets me, is swayed by my many charms, and decides to relocate to pursue a life with me:
Perpetually stoned So Cal party guy: "Dude, Vegas is a non-stop party, bro. Seriously, bro, non-stop."
Impossibly pretty So Cal glamour girl: "My cousin flies there every weekend to work at a strip club."
World-weary poseur from back East: "Vegas...(exaggerated sigh)...what a cultural wasteland. Is it true they build casinos on top of graveyards?"
Socially conservative family man: "Branson, Missouri is just fine with me, thank you very much."
Perky girl who learned all she knows about Las Vegas from reality tv: "Aren't you too unattractive to live there?"
Fucking know-it-all douchebag: "Las Vegas should have depleted its water supply by the year 2012."
Midget: "Can you get me a job at Circus Circus?"
Mild-mannered Midwestern guy who kind of wants to visit Las Vegas but is a little apprehensive: "Is it true that bands of gypsies roam The Strip and steal babies right out of their strollers?"
Smarmy businessman who isn't nearly as clever as he thinks: "Whoa, 'What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas'; am I right?"
Woman who meets me, is swayed by my many charms, and decides to relocate to pursue a life with me:
19 Comments:
Perky girl deserves a shovel to the face.....in my humble opinion!
you missed off:
Brit Girl:
"Fuck...(shakes head) why? (smirks)."
PS: I second little 'ol me's suggestion... shovel justice... it's been too long... and boy is perky asking for it.
Canadian girl with a fond appreciation for people from VegaSS says: "Vegas?...Let's get some pizza and get busy" a la DJ Jazzy Jeff.
Is there anything to do in Vegas? I hear it's kind of quiet and boring.
little ol',
some of these are direct quotes, but perky girl was a little more diplomatic than that, although I could tell what she meant.
tlsd,
are you smirking at me again?
claudia,
you always know just what to say.
nick,
good one, although someone who really likes Branson would never use any variant of the word "fuck" nor take Christ's name in vain.
ubie,
when you're poor like me, it is boring.
It's better than, "You from Joisey? I'm from Joise too! What exit?"
I'd say, "Cool! Are you a stripper?"
I say that to Brooke all the time.
Todd, check it out.
Hey - you met my brother! Wonder what he was doing in SoCal...
I was fine until I got the the bit about Branson. *heave*
"to the bit about Branson"
Fucking typos. My fingers must be on backwards today.
I got nothing. I think the Southerners down here haven't even heard of it.
LMAO at the last one....
So ummm the casinos aren't built on top of Indian graveyards??
so basically i need to go to irvine and beat bitches down?!
aww! it's like undergrad! part two! WOO!!
That's just wrong...
What about sexually frustrated, small town Kansas girl... "They have people that touch you in the naughty place in Vegas right?
brooke,
you need to "exit" from that conversation.
jo,
uh, no one ever thinks I'm a stripper.
nick,
scar jo may be my favorite, even over Jessica Alba.
anna,
he was just chillin'. He sends his love.
bawlz,
she'd better hurry.
andi,
Like Homer Simpson said, "Branson is Las Vegas if Ned Flanders ran it." I always call it "Ned Vegas".
wyneye,
wow, that's rural.
vast,
people think I lived on a farm. I've never sat foot on a farm.
lone,
only a few casinos.
buttah,
you are HOT when you defend my honor. And when you don't. You're hot, is what I'm saying.
shannon,
my absolute favorite!
sole,
one of my fave words.
kat,
which part is wrong?
tumbleweed,
you can get your naughty parts touched anywhere.
'Cept maybe Utah.
"Priceless".
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