I'll have you know I used Axe body spray recently and I wasn't attacked by hordes of nubile young women.
I was, however, stung by several flying insects.
ALSO: Two fantastic bloggers have birthdays today. Hailing from Canada, Claudia is no doubt enjoying a state-sponsored Canadian seven-course meal: a slice of back-bacon and a six pack. And from Las Vegas (or maybe Henderson, I don't know), Bawlz is probably kickin' it VIP at a club that wouldn't let me in if I bought the place. They're both twenty-five and are too kind to me, as they were taught to respect their elders. Best wishes, ladies.
I was, however, stung by several flying insects.
ALSO: Two fantastic bloggers have birthdays today. Hailing from Canada, Claudia is no doubt enjoying a state-sponsored Canadian seven-course meal: a slice of back-bacon and a six pack. And from Las Vegas (or maybe Henderson, I don't know), Bawlz is probably kickin' it VIP at a club that wouldn't let me in if I bought the place. They're both twenty-five and are too kind to me, as they were taught to respect their elders. Best wishes, ladies.
19 Comments:
hmm...did you spray it in an arrow formation from your chest to your crotch?
Cause that's what I do.
I've never smelled it. At least, I don't think so.
Now that I think of it... I ripped off some man's clothes last week and straddled him in a parking lot. I wasn't sure what came over me. I wonder if he was wearing it.
hmmmmmm. that definitely means you should have sprayed on more. Did you apply liberally? Did you?
Gross, never use that again.
I like Axe, but no, I don't attack the men who wear it. Let's sue.
Does that stuff work in Vegas? I thought you had to stink of money to get anywhere.
I went through this already with Hi Karate. I won't get fooled again.
If you look really really REALLY closely at the disclaimers on those commercials, you'll see something to the effect that young nubile women (or their mothers) won't actually attack you while you're wearing the spray UNLESS you're a skinny little whiteboy twink. If you're not, all bets are off.
Then again, if you're a skinny little whiteboy twink, the odds that random hot women will attack you are much higher than normal, even without the AXE.
In the same vein: my Snackwell cookies aren't doing a fucking thing for my figure.
You have to spray it on the southern hemisphere for the nubile lovelies to come a'running.
I almost attacked a married middle-aged Christian co-worker wearing Bod one day. Try that?
The wind must not have been blowing in the right direction. Here's hoping for an easterly wind tomorrow!
Maybe they were lady-bugs...
claudia,
you have an added enticement for the opposite sex: a little something called physical attractiveness. Cheater.
vast,
the Cambodian transvestites never have the hips to pull it off.
knitty,
so you went home every day with the stench of cheap cologne and sack-sweat stuck in your nostrils?
kat,
he must have been.
cold hands,
just kidding around. I've used the body wash (i.e. soap) but I use real cologne.
trix,
they give Drakkar away with Car washes these days. How the mighty have fallen.
eden,
yes!! This is the type of frivolous lawsuit I was talking about. Way to stay ahead of the curve.
ubie,
money or hotness. Alas, in those categories I am the Scentless Aprentice.
jj,
I need to get some Sex Panther. "Sixty percent of the time, it works every time."
dennis,
yeah, "Not being ugly" is their disclaimer for everything.
pants,
exactly! I ate four fat free muffins the other day... I gained weight.
andi,
the results would have been the same, except for the unbearable pain.
violet,
I will if I ever meet you.
little,
let's not blame the wind.
tlsd,
that makes me feel better.
what flavor was it?
i find that some of them smell ok and some smell like chernobyl.
Pumpkin, only because you didn't wear it in my presence. And would it still count if it was a milf in her 30's???
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
I feel so special!
YAY!
I do love me my bacon.
What?! And you didn't fuck the insects?! What's wrong with you?
I love Axe body spray....I would have attacked you!!
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