Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Inspiration comes from the most unlikely sources...
Recently, I did a google search to check out some non-commenters who have linked me, and I found an interesting one. Some guy who described himself in his profile as "old fashioned and conservative" (oh, this isn't going to be good) apparently liked a point I made, but then warned his gentle, fragile readers that my blog was pure, unadulterated evil.

I'd like, at this point, to reply to a few of his comments.

"...almost entirely about sex."
I wish. It would be great if I could regale my readers with fanciful tales of poon-bangin'. In fact, this blog is mostly about a lack of sex. To begin with, if I was having as much sex as I'd like I'd be posting a hell of a lot less. And when I did post, this blog would indeed be almost entirely about sex.

"...completely crude and offensive..."
It amuses me when adults are offended by the insignificant. Even if you don't get the joke, move on to real injustices in the world.

"This guy is doing society no favors."
Fuck society; it does me no favors! For one thing, people like you are in charge.

There were other complaints mostly in the same vein. I'm not going to publish this man's URL, mostly because I don't remember it and don't feel like trying to find it again. Also, he wrote this months ago, so the statute of limitations has long passed as far as I'm concerned.

In fact, I'm not mad at all. He inspires me to keep going. I'm glad I offend the easily offended; they're mush-minded pus-sacks. I wonder if he talks about me over dinner at Applebee's after the squaredance.



As perhaps one of the most disparaged people who ever lived, I'm glad to hear you're not letting this douchebag bother you. If this guy is worried enough about you to make negative commentary on his website, then he is a pathetic sack of felch juice. You should write your blogs in a way specifically designed to get under his skin, all with the hope that it will drive him crazy and he will kill himself. If he's reading now, just let me be the first to say to that loser, "FUCK YOU!!!!!!"

Blogger solethoughts said...

Haha! Good stuff. Glad to see you've had a change of heart.

Blogger Cladeedah said...

Todd - loved the Applebee's square-dancing jab. Guess I know now not to ask you to barn dancing night w/ the gang, though, eh? ;-) Thanks for joining us Saturday. I had a fun night. Hope we weren't as lame as this guy. :-)

Blogger Karen said...

Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. That's my motto.

And that's a figurative fuck, not a literal fuck,k?


Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

I bet he's from Cedar City.

Blogger Cherry! said...

Sounds like he seriously needs to get himself a life.

Blogger Me said...

Well, he's getting you link traffic, so whatever.

You know he secretly lurves you.

Blogger thr said...

stress less cunt.

love yer stuff, and it's just great to see an American use cunt so wonderfully well.

cunts to you

PS from Australia, cunt!

Blogger Phain said...

Guess this means we WON'T be going to Applebees on our first date huh? *pout*

Blogger Knitty Kitty said...

something about how any press is good press.
Hey maybe there is a group of old people sitting around the buffet at denny's calling each other cunts

Blogger katarina said...

I feel the need to do a Google search.
I just love conservative people. They have such a zest for life. They make me laugh and laugh and laugh...

Blogger The Lone Rangers said...

Fuck that fucking fuck Todd, keep up this crude, sex filled, not favoring society blog!

Blogger SalamiSalome said...

I read "poon-bangin" as "coon-bangin" and began to wonder whether or not there were Kentucky pasttimes of which I have yet to be appraised. You've got enough on your list, far be it from me to attempt to add bestiality. Keep up the good work.


he's probably in a sulk because he masturbates to the post about the stripper blowjob and then feels lots of guilt and this led to linking for quick referral but a tremendous amount of self-hate.

Blogger Kris said...

What's wrong with Applebees? I love me some Dub Dub food.

Blogger AWE said...

Poon-bangin' that's a keeper. I wonder how many hits you will get from that word?

Blogger Rachel said...

Todd, will you go square dancing with me? I'll buy you a margarita at Applebees afterward.


Blogger tlsd said...


... it's bloody good to have you back!!!

Blogger FRITZ said...

Wow. See, the ability to piss someone off like that (enough that he would post about it) simply draws me closer in to your flame, you hot, hot Todd.

I'm gonna see if anyone hates me like they hate you. How we meter success...ah.

Blogger Cold Hands said...

mmmmmmmm - the squaredance.

I think i will wear one of those short flouncy squaredance dresses while im in Vegas. oh yes I shall.

Blogger spicehut said...

Surfed here through "Monkey in a Suit". Your blog is Really Fabulously Funny :) Pouring through your archives...

Blogger little ol' me? said...

Nothing will help that douchebag better than a good old fashioned fuck!

Glad to have you back, Toddy!

Blogger Brookelina said...

Clearly, despite your warning to move on if offended by the word "cunt", this man chose to hang about and read everything you wrote. You should be flattered.

He's a cunt.

Blogger yournamehere said...

I'm thinking of posting the most offensive joke ever. It even offends me. If I do, there's no going back.

I always said I'd be back on Tuesday.

you guys are great. I had a fantastic time.

I'm glad you cleared that up.

there's an Applebee's there.

he has five children. You'd think he'd be worried about them.

god, I hope he doesn't lurve me.

I love my Australian readers.

le chat,
I'd go anywhere with you, even *gasp* Olive Garden.

old people always call each other "cunt"; it's a product of dementia.

they're great...until they start bombing abortion clinics.

lone rangers,
I think I will.

Blogger myboyfriendiscrazy said...

When people take time out of their not-so-busy (but self-important) lives to bash you, it's hard to feel hurt. It's easier to feel pity. You're obviously much more important than them.

Blogger yournamehere said...

no bestiality, I promise. Unless I tell that joke...

monkey mc,
I like the way you think.

there's nothing wrong with Applebee's if every other restaurant on earth is closed.

the phrase "poon-bangin'" will rescue this blog from near obscurity.

yet another lovely lady I'd go anywhere with. The pleasure of your company would be all I'd need.

thanks. Bloody thanks.

you personify all women who think I'm hot: you live far away and you've never actually seen me.

cold hands,
will the dress show off your funbags? If so, wear it.

thanks. Any friend of Monkey Mc is a friend of mine.

the hell with him; I'm the one who needs a good old fashioned fuck.

I love it when you say "Cunt".

Blogger Rachel said...

Awww Toodles, you are just the sweetest thing.

Lovin' you!

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

I didn't comment here? I could've sworn I commented here.

You should be proud to be the talk of his AARP meeting.

Blogger Crazy Lady said...

well, maybe he considers the word cunt interchangable with sex. It's not like you didn't warn him right from the get go!

Blogger yournamehere said...

I'm bigger than Jesus, in that I weigh more.

I'm not always sweet.

I think I'll start messing with your head by randomly deleting your comments. No, I can't...you're my hero.

crazy lady,
My disclaimer is a public service, I like to think.

Blogger Secret said...

*sigh* I missed you..I'm glad your back to your "old" self?!

Blogger MadMeer said...

Gah! Applebees! I fucking hate that place and all the jelly rolls that feed there! I hope he chokes to death on meat loaf.

Anyone with half a brain would safely assume that guy molests little boys and crys about it later.

Me has a good point. Just think of all the interesting people who stumble upon that asswipe's site by accident, immediately realize he's an asswipe, and then see that he has linked to someone interesting.

Blogger DogGirl said...

I think it's great when they promote you by bitching about your website and getting more traffic here.

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