Monday, August 21, 2006
Did they register at Bed, Bath and Beyond?
Some women really like their boys "bad".

For those of you unfamiliar with Richard Ramirez, he's the infamous L.A. "Nightstalker". In 1985 he murdered thirteen people because Satan told him to.

What Prince Charming would do was break into a home in the middle of the night, immediately take out the male of the house with a bullet to the head, and then proceed to repeatedly rape and brutally torture the female. Amazingly, a few of these women survived to testify against him at his trial.

Despite the fact that Richard Ramirez is a gutless murderer and a raper and torturer of women, he became quite popular with the ladies during his trial. Throngs of young women gathered outside the courthouse, screaming when they caught a glimpse of him like he was Elvis Presley circa 1957. He eventually married the most persistent of his followers, a woman who has an IQ of 152.

The conversation every father fears:

"What did you do today, sweetheart?"

"Well, daddy, I hung out at the courthouse hoping to get a good look at Richard Ramirez."

"The murderer and rapist?"

"Yeah, but he's so...mysterious."

AAAAAAARGGGGH!!! Some of these bad boy lovers just had to up the ante, I suppose. "Oh sure, your bad boy might never call and cheat on you with your sister, but mine could very well slit my throat, rip my eyeballs out, and skull-fuck me under a full moon. That is so hot."

It's not only women who are fucked up, though. Some men find Ann Coulter attractive.


13 Comments:

Blogger Fella said...

God, this is depressing.

Blogger Violet said...

Too bad he didn't marry Ann Coulter. That would make cosmic sense. Plus, her womb is probably too mean to have his babies.

Blogger Ubermilf said...

Clearly, I.Q. tests are not proper measurements.

Also, what Dawn said.

And, Ann Coulter is an automaton. I don't know if they built her anatomically correct.

Blogger MsHellion said...

"Did they register at Bed, Bath and Beyond?"

Emphasis on "Beyond" when they fry his ass, I reckon. Suppose they sell redemption at the BB&B?

Ann Coulter's adam's apple has its own zip code.

Ramirez was probably an illegal immigrant who was getting all kinds of perks from the state of California.

Blogger Burr-ee-toe said...

Eew... gross. I guess it goes to show there really is someone for everyone. But still... eew.

Blogger Andi said...

Oook, hysterical fits of giggles. The Ann Coulter comment really put a stamp on things. Definitely one of your finest posts to date, Toddsky.

Blogger Scarlet Hip said...

And suddenly my choices in men look normal again.

Blogger katarina said...

He's getting laid yet, there are single men in the world.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mmmmmmm... I love the Bad Boys
: )~~
I have several of my own. Knowing what they have done, reading their little dark twisted desires, and feeling their arms around me in the visiting park has me totally twitterpated.

~Calli~

Blogger yournamehere said...

nick,
like the end of Ol' Yeller.

steph,
I can't even get someone to let me buy them dinner.

breastless,
So, uh...you like feet, huh? Ha.

vast,
are you and breastless hanging out, watching Fox News and badmouthing Bill Clinton?

violet,
her insides are a rocky place where his seed could find no perch.

dawn,
because people are stupid.

ron,
I think she's certifiably insane, but we all have our opinions.

tits,
you are my large-breasteded oasis in a desert of dispair.

cherry,
ain't it though? Next thing you know, someone will have a baby with Tom Cruise. Oh...nevermind.

le chat,
a lot of crazy people are smart.

ubie,
my guess is Ann has a vagina, but it's a foul portal to the gates of hell.

ms. hellion,
I, mister research, don't even know if Richard Ramirez is still alive. I believe he is, since they don't really execute people in California anymore.

scumbag,
I forgot about that. Ha, that's right, they beat his ass.

john,
I'm too lazy and uninterested to look up his citizenship or lack thereof at the time of the murders.

tlsd,
just as crazy, but probably not as mean.

burr,
I would say it gives me hope of finding someone, but I really don't want to compare myself to Richard Ramirez.

andi,
you are too sweeeeeet.

brooke,
no. no they don't.

kat,
actually, they aren't allowed to have sex. California death row inmates are NOT allowed conjugal visits.

calli,
well good for you. I certainly hope someone you love is never brutally murdered, but enjoy your fetish. I was going to berate you, but you have a fine ass.

If calli is really Nick or Egan in disquise, you've really outdone yourself, creating an entire blog with months of entries in the less than twenty-four hours since this was posted.

Blogger aughra said...

Eeek.

And Ann Coulter must die.

Blogger Narrator said...

Spinning girl is right.

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