Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Pink Taco
This is the outside of the fabulous Pink Taco restaurant, located at the Hard Rock Hotel in vegASS. The food is delicious, the margaritas are top notch, and the service staff is hot. Also, it's named Pink Taco. One of their slogans is "Our taco tastes better than yours."

The fine folks behind Pink Taco recently opened a second location in conservative yupscale shitbox Scottsdale, Arizona. The stuffy SUV moms who flock to that town like maggots to roadkill were not amused by such a suggestive name. I guess my proposed restaurant chain, Auntie Souse-Curtain's Cunteria, won't be franchising in Scottsdale anytime soon.

Undetered by the community-wide lack of a sense of humor, the Pink Taco's owners currently have the high bid for the naming rights to a new football stadium in Phoenix. Yes, that's right, they want to call it PINK TACO STADIUM.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Please, God, let it happen.

"The players are complaining of a slippery surface here at the Pink Taco."

This is an EXACT quote from the Sports section of the Louisville Courier-Journal, explaining why residents are so up in arms: "The restaurant is named after a slang term for vagina."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I couldn't breathe, I was laughing so hard. I wonder if they'll answer my question in print if I write a letter to the editor asking for the definition of "blumpkin"?

In other news, a coalition of 13 conservative activist groups have united to move toward one common goal: The elimination of hotel room pay-for porn. Holy shit on a pornstar's freakishly huge cock, Batman! Porn that adults pay outrageous rates to watch in the privacy of their own rooms is actually a problem? This is the huge threat to America's well-being that united a fucking baker's dozen right-wing fringe groups? I'm convinced we are very near the end of days.
Why, oh why, does ANYONE care if a business traveler beats off to some porn in his hotel room? Really, the only injured party is the maid who has to soak up the jizz trail from the bed to the bathroom. Other than that, no one is effected. No one. This is the biggest non-issue EVER.

Well, it's a big issue to Tony Perkins. I forget the name of his group...I think it's Citizens Who Secretly Want Separate Drinking Fountains for Black People but that's not important. Tony said "These are places that you take your family - these are respectable institutions."

Well, that explains everything. I'm convinced now. This makes my head hurt, it really does.

Side thought: I wonder if Tony thinks a waitress has never been after-hours-fucked by a closing manager on the toilet his little girl uses at TGI Friday's?

The corporate response? Kathy Shepard of Hilton said "In their zest to have their personal morals prevail, they're eliminating choice for others." I think Ms. Shepard just rebutted every opinion Tony Perkins has ever held.


Blogger Übermilf said...

I have children.

I've taken them on vacation.

They've never once accidentally ordered porn.

Blogger n.v. said...

I've studied the porno stuff for a long time. Read about it. Wrote about it. And my conclusion: the people who complain about it are just angry about something else.

The owners of the Pink Taco restaurants are my new heroes.

Conservatives go on and on about how they want smaller government. What they really mean is smaller taxes (a noble desire). Otherwise, government can't be big enough or intrusive enough for the hypocrites. A bigger military is bigger government. Removing the choice to pay for porn in the privacy of your paid-for hotel room is bigger government. Telling chicks they have to carry fetuses until they give birth is bigger government. And the list goes on. At least Lefty Liberals are honest about wanting big government.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

I like vaginas.

Eliminating porn in hotel rooms, huh? That's almost as bad as Ruth Bader Ginsburg's fight to lower the age of consent to 12.

Blogger yournamehere said...

well, you're a reasonable person.

these are angry people.

I want government to fluff my fucking merkin for me. Yeah!

vagina is non-slang for pink taco.

Blogger yournamehere said...

first of all, I believe that comment has violated several agreements we've made in the past, but I'm willing to overlook it.

If, in fact, Ruth Bader Ginsburg wants to lower the age of consent to 12, that is a horrible thing. It has absolutely nothing to do with this post, but it would be terrible. Is there a link that describes her crusade to allow this? If so, please email it to me.

Do you honestly think it matters if someone watches hotel room porn? If not, then we are in agreement on this subject. It just seems a terrible waste of effort on an issue that is really no one's fucking business.

We need an evil pharmaceutical company to develop a pill that produces an irresistible urge to mind your own fucking business. Except no one would buy it. People who mind their own business don't need it, and people who can't mind their own business don't think they need help.

You know I could care less if somebody wants to watch a porno in their hotel room or anywhere else for that matter. Trying to change the name of the Pink Taco is just as bad as the morons in Louisville trying to shut down Dad's Muffler Shop, where "There's No Muff Too Tuff." The people trying to stop these things should go pound sand.

As for Ginsburg, I was simply offering something absurd that was fought for on the other side. The only point I was making is that idiots on both sides of the political fence deserve to be called on it.

I didn't think I violated our agreements, but won't comment henceforth on any political posts.

Blogger FRITZ said...

Jesus God, I hope the stadium gets that name, too. I hate Phoenix, Scottsdale, and any town in that godforsaken state. Beyond hating Arizona, I also think this is really a feminist thing. I mean, how awesome is THAT?

Men can take their phallic skyscrapers and capitol buildings. I'll take a pink taco stadium (funny, I just realized that a stadium is even SHAPED like a taco or a cunt, so that's beautifully poetic)....

And then: porno in hotels.

My fucking God, someone has decided to waste TIME and EFFORT to limit another personal freedom and choice?

Oh, wait. Republicans tell me they are all about freedom.

Fucking morons. Next time I check in to the old Ho-Jo to turn a trick, I'm so going to order 'Chicks with Dicks' and have an orgy.

Blogger katarina said...

As Bill Hicks would say, it's all hairy man ass anyway.

Blogger Flounder said...

Pink Taco Stadium, eh?

Does it have a retractable labia, errr, roof?

Are there a few days each month that you can't play there?

Considering it's not even a year old, will grass even grow on the field?

On opening day, will the satdium shatter Houston's record for most men inside the pink taco in one day?

These are important questions Todd.

Blogger Trix said...

You know, one of the owners of Pink Taco is the grandson of the owner of the famous Morton's Steakhouses. He's also porking that whore Lindsay Lohan. Now how do feel about him?

Blogger Cincysundevil said...

I really hate right-wing Christian conservatives. They're not going to be happy until we're all as miserable and sexless as they are.

I could really go for some Pink Taco right now .......

Love the new logo! I bet death drives a tricked out '69 Chevelle.

Oh, and Flounder's questions demand answers. The public has a right to know.

Blogger Nick said...

If we are going to bash all conservatives for the actions of these Morons then I think that Vast Right Wing etc. should be allowed to comment.

Blogger little ol' me? said...

I laughed hard the first time I heard about the Pink Taco. Genius!

There are a lot of questions about the stadium that need answered, though.

Liking the new look, Toddy!

Blogger yournamehere said...

that pharmaceutical company wouldn't be evil. Whoever develops that pill should win a Nobel prize.

I love the phrase "go pound sand". Dad's Muffler Shop sponsors the Friday night football scores on one of the local news channels. It's funny when the voice-over guy has to say "There's No Muff Too Tuff".
And I know this blog is heavily biased toward the left, but I did point out, just a few days ago, what I thought was a leftist overreaction regarding the bourbon ad.

I really wasn't trying to be political with the Pink Taco piece, just juvenile. I giggled like a schoolgirl when "vagina" was written in the sports section.

Bill Hicks was wise.

"Houston, you have a problem."
She does. Yuck.

the women who work at his vegass restaurant aren't anorexic skanks, so at least he knows how to separate business and personal.

ummm, pink taco.

the Chevelle is primer right now, but he's gonna paint logos of fire on it next weekend.

I appreciate your advocacy of free speech, but vast right wing conspirator is, in real non blog life, my brother. I don't want to argue with him on the internet. I think "family business" is best conducted in person or via private phone conversations and emails. All conservatives who aren't related to me are more than welcome to voice their opinions. I think on four or five occasions that has happened.

Blogger Übermilf said...

To be safe, I think all TV's should be removed from the rooms as well. I mean, there could be a discussion of breast cancer on the news or something.

Blogger Brookelina said...

They should probably get rid of the beds too, cause you know, people do it on beds.

Blogger Brookelina said...

And the showers. Cause they do it in showers, too.

Blogger Brookelina said...

And the rugs...

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