Thursday, August 10, 2006
Don't Look Back in Anger (part 2)
Part 1 was hardly a runaway blockbuster, but the sequel had already been greenlighted and budgeted, so here are more of my memories in convenient picture form.

This is Suzy, my friend's girlfriend's cousin, also known as my prom date.

There's nothing better for a teenage boy's self-esteem than to be rejected by someone like this. It doesn't matter; with her dull personality and garish style of dress, it would have been like fucking Cyndi Lauper's corpse. And check out her belt. I think she may have been a newly crowned professional wrestling champion.

















Let's just say my first strip club experience was a regrettable one, and leave it at that.



















This is Ralph-Fred McGraw. I shared an apartment with him during college. He's wearing his trademark Mark Martin Viagra shirt. No, he's never kissed a girl.

One Halloween he went to a party as the Grim Reaper, an event which inspired the name of this very blog.













Continuing the Nascar theme, my Uncle Cleofus was so devastated by the death of racing legend Dale Ernhardt that he shaved Ernhardt's car number into his grotesquely hairy back. That's but one of the many reasons he was named White Trash Magazine's 2001 Hilljack of the Year.












I decided to leave Louisville when this man, Vernon "Toofisis" Clark, was overwhelming elected Mayor.

He died of a crank overdose three days into his term, but by then I was already in Las Vegas.






Apparently blogger is imposing a five picture limit, even though I've downloaded more than that in the past. If anyone knows how I can get around this, please let me know. Otherwise, this is the end. If you haven't looked at part 1, by all means do so.


22 Comments:

Blogger Übermilf said...

I am poised to comment, yet have nothing to say.

Blogger thr said...

dude,
after you've uploaded 5 pics, you can upload 5 more. Hit the damn button!

Get with the fucking program for fuck's. We're waiting here with baited fuckin' breath and you are using technical issues to stop the circle jerk that is this blog.

Jesus H Christ-in-a-chicken-basket.

yours etc

thomasr

Blogger Dawn said...

Part 2 is better - well as better as it can be. Can you tell that there was nothing good on TV and I ended up here for entertainment?


P.s. We saw Lewis Black in Vegas a little over a week ago and he was AWESOME! I wish he was president.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Where'd you get that picture of me with Nick's mom?

Segues are for pussies. Remember that time you split Phil's head open with a flute in a pillow case?

I thought uncle Cleofus was White Trash Magazines "Slack Jaw'd Yocal" of the year, 2002.

Blogger tlsd said...

I sincerely hope you don't share much of Uncle Cleofus gene pool... My eyeballs are burning... ew ew ew...

Please tell me that when I visit you'll take me to a better class of strip joint...

Blogger Kris said...

The baby Jesus is either crying or howling. It's hard to say.

Blogger yournamehere said...

ubie,
and when has that stopped you before?

thr,
Believe it or not, hitting the damn button was something I already tried. Thanks for your help, though.

dawn,
I'm happy to be your last resort entertainment option.

tits,
sadly, Nick emailed it to me.

john,
the fucker had it coming.

vast,
no, he was Backwoods-Ass Country Fuck Magazines "Slack Jaw'd Yocal" of the year.

tlsd,
no, Cleofus married into the family.

kris,
either way, a hard rain is gonna come.

Blogger miss kendra said...

start another post in a new window, upload your pictures, then cut and paste the code into the original post.

no need to save the second post either.

or get a "fake" blogger account for to upload pictures only.

Blogger Cold Hands said...

you keep the best company.....

Blogger Trix said...

What the fuck are those strippers doing? Wait. I really don't want to know the answer to that.

Blogger sonrisa morena said...

okay the hairy dude is just gross!! the prom queen brings memories...aaahhh yes the memories

When sonrisa says "yes," is it wrong that I hear "jes?"

Blogger tlsd said...

Thank FUCK for that... PHEW!!!!

ps: pleeeeease tell me you're not THAT hairy... I'm guessing the German genes, way back when, have rendered you hairless(as in your back), am I right?

Blogger yournamehere said...

kendra,
thanks for something more helpful than "hit the damn button."

cold hands,
I try to filter out the real losers.

trix,
I think those strippers are failing to dodge the ol' ugly stick, as it looks like it has struck them repeatedly.

sonrisa,
please post all of your prom photos.

john,
kindly stop insulting the future mother of my semi-swarthy children.

tlsd,
yes, the German genes have rendered me backhair-less and completely intolerant of this line of questioning.

Blogger Burr-ee-toe said...

If I ever visit Louisville, please don't let me go to a strip club. Hit me hard if I think its a good idea.

Blogger Rachel said...

All I can say to the Ernhardt tribute is...


OH MY FUCKING GAWD!


Hair is fine, totally can deal, but DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!

Blogger Übermilf said...

So, are you just looking for stream of consciousness here? Because I can do that.

My ice cubes melted. How long will my water stay cold without them? Speaking of ice, I hate this "ice mint" gum I'm chewing. Yet I chew it anyways. Don't ask me why. I may be punishing myself.

Punishing myself for what? I don't know. If one doesn't know oneself, then how can one truly ever know another?

Damn this gum. And ice. And everything else that makes me doubt myself.

Blogger Violet said...

You take entertainment to a whole new level. I'm not sure if this is an appropriate response, but it made me weep.

Blogger Hey Jo said...

ohhhh... the hairy back guy creeps me out!!

Blogger aughra said...

fuck blogger, and get involved with Flickr. I'll let you be one of my contacts!!

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