Monday, July 31, 2006
Gay marriage, stem cells, and other topics
I think I mentioned this before when commenting on other blogs, but it bears repeating. In 2004 Nevada voters passed an amendment called "The Sanctity of Marriage Act" banning all same-sex unions. There are really, for all practical purposes, only two areas in Nevada that are inhabited with people. They are Reno and the Vegas valley. Both are places where drunken strangers are married twenty-four hours a day, every day. So you see, nobody in Nevada gives a squirt of piss about the sanctity of marriage. They just want to discriminate.

In my opinion, gays are the new blacks. Allow me to explain: Some people always have to have someone to hate, and since it isn't socially acceptable to be a racist these days, the gays are a convenient scapegoat. Take Reverend Jerry Falwell, for example. In the 1950s he was a segregationist. He used passages from the Bible to justify his belief that black and white America should be two seperate entities. This is funny to me, because there aren't any white people in the Bible. Nothing in the Bible happened in Europe. Your favorite Bible-type folk were all brown, all the time. This inconvenient fact never stopped Reverend Falwell from preaching from his pulpit that it was a sin for whites and blacks to live amongst one another.

Years later, when societal views shifted, Falwell realized it would be hard for a racist to swindle the elderly and the ignorant out of their money, which is what all televangelists do, so he renounced his hatred of blacks and turned his God-fearing ignorance toward them pesky sodomites. A legion of the narrow-minded soon followed his lead.

Reverend Falwell has every right as a "minister" to deny same-sex marriage in his church. Since his "ministry" is funded not by U.S. taxpayers but by the pensions and disability checks of the people from which he steals, it's his choice. And if the Catholic church wants to budget time from its busy schedule of protecting priests who've raped children to "take the moral high ground" regarding marriage, that's fine by me.

But there is no reason why two consenting adult taxpayers, regardless of gender, can't go to City Hall and get married (or call it a civil union). These people are U.S. citizens, so any moral qualms anyone has about homosexuality is irrelevant. It doesn't matter if Uncle Jedjack from Alabama finds it distasteful. I find it distasteful that Britney Spears and K-Fed are married, but I wouldn't deny them their rights.

***On another subject, why in God's good name doesn't Crystal from have a book deal? A few nice people have suggested I deserve a book deal because of this tripe, but I have to admit I'm not worthy. Not even close.

Crystal, on the other hand, writes the funniest blog I've read, and she's book deal-less! Unsigned, people! I'm guessing the powers-that-be had one book deal left to give to a female blogger, so they handed it over to yet another smug, overdressed, self-obsessed, stuffy, pseudo-intellectual, Manhattan Sex in the City ripoff chick. God, I've read some of those blogs and every word is PAINFUL to me. None of these women will ever be satisfied until science invents a pill that makes their excrement smell like the inside of a Prada purse. Fuck off and die!!

***I almost cried when I saw my first paycheck. Retards who sell newspapers on expressway exit ramps make more money than I do. Immigrants selling roadside produce are like Donald Trump to me. I don't mind working, I just hate looking for work. But I have to find something else, and soon.

***Well, "President" Bush vetoed the stem-cell research bill, despite its support by a vast majority of Americans. Three people with a lot of money are against stem-cell research, so by all means let's shitcan the whole operation. "They might use aborted fetuses," one of them said before he slipped on the snail-trail left by the other two. YES, BY ALL MEANS SAVE THE FUCKING PRECIOUS UNBORN FETUSES. NEVER DO ANYTHING TO HELP ANYONE WHO'S ALREADY ALIVE, BUT KEEP YOUR HANDS OUT OF GOD'S COOKIE JAR!!! Fact: When Bill Clinton ran in '92, pro-life protesters threw fetuses at him, on more than one occasion. If they had used just one of those fetuses for stem-cell research, maybe Ronald Reagan wouldn't have spent the last twelve years of his life drooling into a bucket hanging from his chin. I'm kind of glad Reagan went out like that, but I'm a vindictive asshole. I guess President Bush and I do have something in common.


Blogger EEK! said...

Books by bloggers usually suck, unless they already know how to write a book. Blogging and book-writing take different skills. Be thankful one of your favorite blogs hasn't been tarnished by a crappy book.

Blogger solethoughts said...

I'd have to agree with you on the gay marriage bit. I think everyone should be allowed to marry anyone as long as the union won't bear children with six arms.

Blogger Crystal said...

I would never write a crappy book. Promise. I'm my own worst critic.

I've never read a book by a blogger, but I would imagine that it's difficult to turn your bullshit about your everyday life into something viable that folks would want to read. However, that won't stop me from trying. Someday.

Todd, I keep saying we need to collaborate.

Blogger sonrisa morena said...

must check out crystal's blog.

good luck on finding a job!!

i'm all about gay marriage...and i'm not just saying that because i work for an LGTB agency ;-)

Blogger Burr-ee-toe said...

Wow, so many good points. I feel like maybe we are twins separated at birth. Except I suck at trying to articulate anything that I'm thinking. Gotta check out Crystal's blog. :)

Blogger Ian McGibboney said...

Some bloggers could write excellent books. I try to read every book I can based on blogs, and so far all I seem to find are books ABOUT blogging, and they all share the same circle-jerk blogger references. Those books age as fast as the ink dries, so what's the point? On the other hand, maybe an interesting person could translate their stuff on the page instead of just talking about their favorite bloggers. It could happen!

And yes, why does every blog-book written by a woman seem like Sarah Jessica Parker wrote it? Female bloggers are by and large not like that, so where are they represented in the print world?

Great post, ynh. I agree totally with everything political and sympathize with all things paycheck.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd actually prefer peppermint to Prada.

Right on, Toddster. Agreein' with the Toddman. The Toddmeister. Todd-o-rama. Toddopolous J. Toddenheimer.

Oh, and Reagan's ghost called. He said your remarks about him have earned you a time teleportation trip to a life in the Soviet Union, circa 1975. Enjoy!

Blogger Übermilf said...

Yes, because forget about all of those poor Polish workers who risked life and limb to defy the Soviet Union, Ronald Reagan is the only one who took down the USSR. Actually, it's only because he could outspend them, which led to a huge deficit...But that's not why I stopped to comment.

Crystal, if you want to collaborate with Todd, you have to come to me. I'm his pimpstress now. I own him. I better get him so more work -- it sounds like he's starving. No one likes a skinny ho.

Blogger Arbusto said...

I just wrote a 25 page paper for my law school seminar on gay marriage. I looked at the usual interests of the state in its control of marriage. I found none that were supportable under case law save religion which is a violation of the first amendment.

Kids is usuall given but since gays have kids anyway and you don't give the couple all the benefits and protections those kids are left at a disadvantage.

Also, there's a case that says that a felon in prison who cannot have sex is allowed to marry for the emotional and spiritual benefits. So reproduction is not a state interest at all.

Just my thoughts.

Blogger little ol' me? said...

I agree with you on all points, Toddy! Thanks for putting my thoughts into funny and poignant words!

Loving you!

Blogger Tits McGee said...

I pray every night that Jerry Falwell will get caught taking it in the ass from this guy.

Blogger Shelly said...

It's okay to be a vindictive bastard like George W. Bush, because you're far funnier and you can pronounce "nuclear".

And yes, Crystal needs a book deal. And to post more often. That chick is hilarious!

Never said Reagan did it alone, UberSexy. Funny you should mention Poland, by the way. In Polish homes, you'll find many a hearth with two pictures prominently displayed: Pope John Paul II and Ronald Reagan. They love Ronnie Raygun.

Re: Reagan's deficits, let's see... a huge national debt or a USSR pointing a few thousand noo-cue-ler missiles at us? Seem like a tough choice to you? Not to me. Reagan had his flaws, of course, but he got it exactly right on how to handle the Cold War.

I'm jealous. I want a pimpstress. :(

Blogger yournamehere said...

nothing could tarnish Crystal's blog. I still read it even though she turned down my proposal and married that other guy.

yeah, siblings shouldn't be allowed to marry. I guess I'll have to amend my statement.

when you say "collaborate" I'm hoping you mean "have an illicit affair", but you're talking about writing, aren't you?
Seriously, the last time I tried to send you an email it was kicked back to me. What is your email address?

I may have to start selling my plasma.

no, we aren't twins. I wouldn't wish that on you.

I don't think publishers ever want to leave Manhattan.

fair enough. I wish mine smelled like "new car".

so many Russian chicks want to marry me from, I might as well go there and inspect the goods.
I hope Reagan's ghost gets his spectre-cock caught in a food slicer.

you're pimping me out? Cool.

To be honest with you, nothing about man-on-man sex appeals to me in the very least, but I don't care if it appeals to others, and I certainly have no right to tell taxpayers how to behave.

little ol,
I love it when you call me Toddy. That's so cute.

whew, I thought that was going to be a picture of Lexington Steele's cock. Thank you for your restraint.

I can say "nuclear" and I'm from the South. And I went to lousy public schools and an open-admissions university.

Blogger yournamehere said...

find your own pimptress. Ha ha.

Blogger Crystal said...

Hmm. Odd. I wondered why you never write or send flowers anymore.

Blogger Knitty Kitty said...

oh todd, how lucky are you to be ubie's latest toy!
Another fabulous post.

Blogger Cincysundevil said...

I've always maintained that if gays can't get married, then why should they pay taxes if they're not going to be allowed to participate fully in our civil rights? No taxation without representation is what I say. If gays didn't have to pay taxes, you'd be amazed at how many of these conservative cocksuckers would start declaring they're gay.

And the only true justice in this world would be if W, a.k.a. the Anti-Christ, would need a procedure that came about as a result of stem cell research.

Blogger Brookelina said...

How is it we agree on so much? You express everything I'm thinking - only with better analogies. And by better I mean fouler. And by fouler I mean better.

Blogger Übermilf said...

Yes, Todd is one big, shaggy foul beast. Sort of like Bigfoot, only more literate.

Blogger JJ said...

I'm with you on everything except the Spears-KFed thing. I am actually willing to start a church whose only sacrement is the concrete encased bodies of those two arguments against the whole idea of evolution just to get rid of them.

Blogger Nick said...

That's why I like JJ, he finds ridiculously circuitous alternatives to murder.

Blogger Askinstoo said...

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Blogger Flounder said...

My picture of Jesus looks like a white guy to me. Do you think that it is a fake?

I love the Catholic Church's hypocrisy on these issues. You didn't mention gays adopting kids, but it's funny that the Church opposes it because of the welfare of the child, while their own "remedy" for child-abusing priests is to surreptitiously move them from parish to parish. That way, they can ply their trade on a whole new crop of unsuspecting tikes. But hell no to gays raising kids! That would just be immoral.

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