Friday, July 28, 2006
Next stop, "The Vast Waistline"

Remember the classic Simpsons episode where Homer gains a lot of weight so he can go on disability? That's how I feel right now. I'm about a biscuit away from wearing a muumuu and a "fat guy hat".

I have the opposite problem of Nicole Richie: She can't start eating, and I can't stop.

Last night I was thinking that I probably wouldn't like it if Nicole Richie put a picture of me on her blog and lectured me about losing weight (Not that she would bother; her bony ass has a social life). But really, that post was less a personal attack on her and more a condemnation of a culture that makes women think they should look like that. No guy looks at me and thinks "I need to be that fat."

I may go back to Weight Watchers, but I'm not going to blog about it. I think I jinxed myself the last time.


Blogger Blonde said...

You are too hard on yourself. If you go back to WW support from your friends here is good!

I agree that the Nicole Richie's of the world make girls want to hurl every bite that they eat. I am a girl that threw up everything for 9 years. I know all too well the pain and why girls do it. She needs help not criticism.

Physical discrimination hurts both ways. We all need to love ourselves a little bit more and be comfortable in the bodies we are in. It has taken me a long time to say that even about myself.

I love you just the way you are Todd.

You've clearly not hit bottom yet, Todd, my friend. Once you do (and if you survive it), you'll come out the other end of that shit tube not giving a rat's ass what you look like to other people. It's a freeing moment. Meanwhile, the family size bucket of KFC beckons. Hey, remember those all-nighters at your old house off Taylor Blvd? We'd down about 4 2-liters of coke each and maybe 3 full bags of Doritos? Ahh, them were the days.

Hey blonde, do you have any pictures of you loving yourself a little bit more? :-)

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Couldn't have said it better myself, Blonde.

Hubby and I both struggle with our weight, and the one thing I can say with absolute certainty is that you are least likely to lose the weight when you are most deeply entrenched in self-loathing.

Love who you are, baby. When you're really ready to do it, the weight will come off.

Until then, a little cushion is nice for the pushin'.

Blogger MoDigli said...

Todd, you should do whatever you feel is healthiest for yourself. But why not get blogfriend support? We each have our struggles, and I'm sure you'd get a lot of support for reaching your goals from everyone on here.

Blogger miss kendra said...

nicole richie and her ilk make me feel like a big fat hairy man.

Blogger Violet said...

I'm laughing in recognition at this entry (in a good way). Just before I read it, I was writing out everything I ate today following their points system. I've been exercising all summer, and I'm not ashamed to note I've lost a bit of weight (three pounds, baby!). So, yeah, I'm trying to slip into their eating system without really acknowledging it. Turns out I'm actually scared of losing weight (go figure).

You have so many people who care about you. And I agree with Tits that you've got to love the body you're in first. I haven't seen you're body, but I'm pretty keen for your brain parts. Good luck!

Blogger Violet said...

Blegh! I meant "your body" - freakin' typo.

Blogger Brookelina said...

Todd, you are a fantastic man. If only you saw yourself the way we all do.

I think it's great that you want to lose weight. Not because of how you want to look, but because it's the best thing for your health. Maybe if you put the focus on that, and not the pounds, it might not be so difficult. That's what I'm doing and - it really makes a difference.

Just wanted to let you all know that the reason Nick over at the Sac changed his comment system is me. He got tired of my harassment, so, like the little Nancy boy he is, he banned me. But to do it, I guess he didn't know a better way than to scrap the entire embedded comment system from Blogger. That is all. Carry on with yer bad selves.

Blogger Übermilf said...

Living in Vegas could NOT have been good for your self-image.

I'm not going to spout a bunch of useless platitudes. It's not that simple. But I do know if you do it (weight loss) in the spirit of self-loathing, it doesn't work.

Blogger Anna said...

I hear ya. I hear ya. I hear ya.

I did the lipotrim thing for five weeks earlier this summer and dropped 24lbs. Went on vacation; managed to keep all but three of those pounds off. Can't seem to get back into the groove. AARGH!

Blogger katarina said...

Right now all I can do is eat.
Some of us are just bigger than others. It's about how you feel about yourself.

Best of luck, Toddles. I am not one to give out advice on this but you have to let go of the self-loathing before you start down that path. And as someone who has seen you in person, you don't qualify for the image you portray. Insanely tall? Yes. Everything else is sort of in your mind.

Blogger little ol' me? said...

I second everyone's opinion about loving yourself first. It's taken me a long time to learn how and I'm still learning.

Support is good in all ways, including support from your fellow bloggers.

Blogger tlsd said...

They're all right you know...
and if we all love you and think your wonderful then we can't ALL be wrong.


You are too hard on yourself. But, seeing as I'm also too hard on myself I'm not going to lecture you about it. I'll just say, I'd slip you the tongue if I was closer.

Blogger Sysm said...


We have a secret handshake.

Actually, our whole body shakes.

Blogger Egan said...

I'm happy you posted this. I think it's important you had enough self-awareness to call yourself out on the previous post. Do what you got to do make yourself happy. Once you're happy then things will improve for the better. Take care man.

Blogger The Lone Rangers said...

Enjoy who you are but if you're gonna do it for your health do it right.

I went from 262 (at 5'8 mind you) to now a constant 180-185 3 years ago because I felt like shot constantly and was EXTREMELY sarcastic and bitter. Well, I'm still sarcastic and bitter but I digress...

I did it through Body For Life (you can find them online), you can buy the shit they sell but dont need too. Just follow the diet, eat six small meals a day and the excersize routine...

Worked for me.

Blogger Secret said...

Good luck. Just know that I love you for your writing! It would be nice to see a picture of you though??? I think your WAY to hard on yourself.

Blogger Burr-ee-toe said...

I've been reading your blog for some time now, but only recently started my own blog. Now I'm glad that I did, so I can tell you that you are so rad and that I fully support you in whatever you do. My mom and sister both did WW and it worked great for them. Just remember vegetables are your friend. I went to the fair in town and ate some fried artichoke hearts. They are the exception to the rule. Stay away from them. They'll just make your stomach hurt.

Blogger sonrisa morena said...

oh mr. todd, i've been keeping up with you blog for quite a while but have started commenting recently and why, you may be asking yourself? well because i thought you seemed to be a good person...and funny as hell!!! i like to have good people around me...even if it's just through a blog ;-)

i've struggled with my weight for years and i'm still struggling but as mentioned before i've accepted my body just the way it is...doesn't mean that i won't try loose the extra pounds that i sooooo need to loose but i like me just how i am and better yet i like the person that i am.

i never really understood when people told me "once you start loving yourself everything will come into place". i never really got that until a few years ago. okay i'm getting all mushy on you so i'll stop.

you do what you think is best for you and know that you've got the bloggers support..well you've mine at least :-)

Blogger yournamehere said...

I can't wait until you love me just the way I am. Seriously, thanks for your support.

I ate more as a teenager than I do now, thank god. I'd weigh five-hundred pounds otherwise.

I'm trying to convince women about the whole cushion-pushin' thing, but they aren't buying it.

I'd rather turn to fellow bloggers for support regarding my low paying job and lack of sex.

I saw a picture of you. You are extremely attractive. And all woman. I don't know about the hairy part, though.

in a way I'm scared of losing weight my own self, because then maybe the reason people don't like me is because I'm an asshole.

I want to lose weight so I can pick up cocktail waitresses. Is that the wrong reason? Just kidding, that ship has sailed. I am worried a bit about my health.

there was quite a little brew-haha over on your blog, huh?

oh, Vegas is the fat-fuck capitol of Earth. I blame the buffets. And tourist tend to be meaty. I just stayed away from the hotel pool parties.
And I do almost everything in the spirit of self-loathing. You're right, though.

vacation is a diet killer.

I'll always be big, I just don't want to be as big.

I realize I'm more "regular Homer Simpson" than "disability Homer Simpson". I appreciate what you said, because you are one of the nicest people I've had the pleasure to meet from blogdom.

little ol,
so masturbation doesn't count as "loving yourself"? Damn.

a lot of people watch American Idol, are they're all wrong.

you'd slip me the tongue if you were closer? Is the house next to yours for rent? I want us to be closer.

I'm winded when I climb a flight of stairs.

I think it may be illegal to do what I have to do to make myself happy.

I'll check that out.

picture? Maybe in the future.

thanks for the support, my dear. I like vegetables. My problem is fast food and late night snacking. I'll stay away from the fried artichokes.

you seem like a fantastic person and I'm glad you came around.
Women with curves are SEXY, so I'm glad you feel good about yourself. Thanks for the support.

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