I know what you're thinking: "Damn, the Crypt Keeper looks great in a bikini." Sadly, that's Nicole Richie, the once-cute pseudo celeb. Holy Karen Carpenter, Batman; I'm surprised flies aren't buzzing around her.
Remember the first season of The Simple Life? Nicole carried a little extra weight and was attractive. Oh, she was annoying and stupid, but she looked good. But she had a tiny amount of belly fat, so some four hundred pound male TV critic probably called her a porker, resulting in a chain of events which led to her looking like a ten-year-old boy.
Why are so many women in Hollywood so unappealingly thin? I realize a lot of Americans, myself included, are fat, but there has to be a healthy medium. And if you're a celebrity, and part of your "job" is to look good, why make yourself look disgusting to everyone but necrophiliacs? Someone is telling these women this looks good.
I think that "someone" is the fashion industry. Designers think their clothes look better draped over a bag of bones than clinging to hips and tits. Hey, maybe they do, but speaking as a man, when I take off the gift-wrapping I'd like the present to have a nice round ass.
Lindsay Lohan has actually regained a few pounds (probably after seeing Nicole in that bikini). Yeah, she' up to a B-cup now; when she gets to C, someone let me know and I'll reinstate her as an object of my legal-yet-inappropriate old man lust.