It isn't every day that a native Kentuckian such as myself, who grew up in a neighborhood full of hicks, is absolutely flabbergasted by a level of hillbilliness rarely seen in civilized society. But then again, it isn't every day that thousands of West Virginians come to town.
The liquor store where I work is near several hotels and an interstate, so fans in town for the West Virginia-Louisville game flocked there in droves. All day long peckerwoods in Mountaineer garb bought all of our cheapest whiskey and vodka. I'm sorry, but I hate people from West Virginia. One guy, who seemed to be covered in soot and whose eyes were so close together he could have worn a monicle as eyeglasses, was sporting a sweatshirt that didn't cover the final one-third of his stomach. Thanks for that visual image, Cleofus.
Last year, when the game was in Morgantown, WV, my friend went and said the locals celebrated their win by burning couches in the street. Yes, they set fire to furniture. In public. They also threw beer on and spat at Louisville fans. These are some classy people.
If anyone from West Virginia is reading this and you aren't a couch burning white trash hillcunt, I suggest you move. And if you are a typical West Virginia fan, it's nice that you have someone who'll read this blog to your illiterate ass.
In case you think this is sour grapes, Louisville beat West Virginia 44-34 to remain unbeaten. And if any couches were torched in celebration, it was done with a sense of irony.
19 Comments:
The West Virginia fire circle:
Steel belt radials left over from the last bald tire that was used to roast marshmallows.
...now that's camping in comfort!
Ah, this is all starting to make more sense. I saw the couch burning shot on a pro-Mountaineers' blog and couldn't figure why the need to burn perfectly good furniture. Thanks Todd. Congrats to your boys on their fine victory.
I used to date a guy from West Virginia. The first time I met him I asked if his parents were brother and sister. He replied, "My parents are my brother and sister."
On that comeback alone I had to go out with him.
'hole time' hehehe.
you let them have it!!!!! i've never met anyone from virginia but i'll support you 100% sweetie..
I was impressed with Brian Brohm. I actually made it a point to watch this game because of the BCS implications. Go Loo-ville.
I wish somebody would throw beer on me.....
"One guy, who seemed to be covered in soot and whose eyes were so close together he could have worn a monicle as eyeglasses"
AHAHAHAHA that is the funniest thing I have ever read in my whole life.
A friend of mine lived in West Virginia and spoke of a rural area where everyone looked like their eyes were on the sides of their heads, like a cow. I can almost hear the banjo.
Well, let's not forget those classy people in Columbus who burn any piece of household furniture they can swap from nearby frat houses and then proceed to riot with police whenever the "Best Football Team Money Can Buy" loses a game.
ok ok... so I don't have time to read such a long post... geeees... I'm on hotel internet here!!!
I just wanted to say "hey" and send to you smooches from Perth...
;op
This brings back memories of my sojourn in Lexington. Your descriptions defy description Todd. I salute you.
They burn their couches?
Then where do they make the hot sex?
Oh that's right. In their pick up trucks.
My bad.
I set a couch on fire once, but only because Anne Coulter was sitting on it.
holly's boyfriend,
marshmallows taste good with that burnt rubber smell on them.
egan,
they're proud of it? Good god.
vast,
as far as making WV a landfill, God beat you to it.
brooke,
I'm guessing he was attractive since it wasn't that good of a comeback.
krill and kelp,
burn in hell, fuckers.
nick,
Florida barely beat Vanderbilt, so #3 should be in the bank. Unfortunately, Louisville isn't as good on the road, where they play Rutgers Thursday. Of course, if they are really #3, they should win.
dawn,
oh god, parts of Kentucky are just dreadful, especially the parts that border West Virginia.
Just kidding. I only hate West Virginians when they play Louisville in football and basketball. Otherwise I don't care.
sonrisa,
not Virginia...West Virginia. I don't want Virginians mad at me. They hold a grudge.
mark,
their other best player, Michael Bush, broke his leg the first game of the year or they'd be damn near unstoppable.
cold hands,
I'll throw ice cold beer on you so your nips get hard.
kendra,
comments like that are what makes blogging worthwhile. Thanks.
liv,
He could wear one contact, I swear.
tracy,
I'll bet the West Virginians whose eyes are too close together feud with the West Virginians whose eyes are too far apart.
cincy,
I love sports. Really. A loss by one of my favorite teams really pisses me off. BUT...the police should be allowed to open fire on anyone who riots because of a sporting event.
ruben,
I recommend Visine.
tlsd,
you don't have time for my long post, huh? Too bad.
monkey,
there are some hot chickies who go to UK. Just ask their dads.
steph,
how about a couch in the bed of a pickup truck? I'll drive right over.
nick,
you should have just shot her in the face.
mike,
are you drunk?
I don't want to say it, but I have to. Michigan and Ohio State play on November 11th. One of them has to lose. If Louisville beats Rutgers I see no reason why they shouldn't play the winner of the OSU/Mich game for the national championship.
That would be sweet.
New post please.
Oh my God. I will love the day you rip Arkansas down.. It will come.
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