Monday, November 06, 2006
Hold me closer, Tiny Dancer

Midget stripper Tiny Tina is coming to Louisville's Deja Vu strip club. I couldn't find a picture of Tiny Tina, but I did find Britney Spears partying with two midgets who may or may not be in the adult entertainment industry.

I was seriously thinking of going to Deja Vu, just to see an honest-to-god freak show along with the usual compliment of titties.

I ultimately decided against it, because I don't want every redneck in town to take a camera phone picture of Tiny Tina standing next to me. The freak show didn't seem so appealing when it occurred to me that I would be one of the freaks.

I also thought it would kind of mess with Tiny Tina's mind if I walked up to her, but how do you shock a little person who takes her clothes off for a living and has most likely done porn? A midget who's been double-penetrated by men in leather hoods isn't going to be distressed by some cornfed cracker who's as tall as an NBA shooting guard.

Good luck in your chosen profession, Tiny Tina. You're more than just a stripper; you're a living, breathing curiosity. Perhaps upon your death you'll be immortalized at a Ripley's Believe it or Not museum. A girl can always dream...


25 Comments:

Somebody told me they saw a porn movie with a midget and a 7'2" guy. That had to be hilarious....and painful.

Speaking of the NBA, you will not believe who I have been told is moving next door to me. LeBron James! I'm not joking at all. I can look forward to gangsta rappers, thugs, and big tittied white chicks he and his entourage will be banging defiling my neighborhood/property. I just can't wait.

Blogger Nick said...

That midget on the left is kind of hot.

I think your brother is confusing Lebron James with Tupac.

Blogger Brookelina said...

She's probably from West Virginia.

Blogger Flounder said...

Sounds like you're nuts over her.

Get it?

Blogger Monkey said...

I think you made the wise decision. Those camera phones have ruined it for all of us.

Todd.. just think of the fun you could have. Lay down with a hard on and she could do a REAL pole dance on you... standing she could do chin ups.... lay on your side and she could have a little strippers limbo contest. C'mon big man ... let her expand her showomanship.

There you go, reminding me how tall you are again.

*sigh*

OH, but I found out this weekend that there's a conference in Louisville next year that I'll probably go to. *happy dance*

Blogger Cold Hands said...

oh my gawd I cannot believe you passed on that opportunity!

Blogger ETaylor said...

I dont get how Britney made it into this picture?

Blogger Mark said...

Is the little person in the lower right hand corner of the pic doing the little person version of the shocker?

Blogger miss kendra said...

tiny tina? seriously? i wonder if she hangs out with bridget the midget, or if that's too sterotypical, for them to be friends or something.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

"Little People" (not "midgets") have just as much right to exploit and denigrate themselves as everyone else! Here's a toast to women as objects! (clink)

Blogger Sindy said...

*clink*

mm.. how tall are ya Todd?

Blogger Sindy said...

http://thorgolucky.com/images/avatar_Stewie_-_Damn_you_all.jpg

you need this avatar

Blogger katarina said...

I would've been one of those people with the camera phones.

Blogger Übermilf said...

Flounder's working blue AGAIN?

You bring out the worst in that guy.

Blogger Molly said...

I probably would have had to check that out

...although my favorite freaky midget was Bridget, she hasn't done anything for me lately so the spot is kinda open.

Blogger Übermilf said...

I hope she's not short on talent.

Blogger yournamehere said...

vast,
are you kidding? I'd love to live next to King James, man. I'll be the big goofy white guy in his entourage. His rejects have got to be fine.

nick,
I think the one on the left just has a wee bit of dwarfism.

brooke,
she's not a mental midget.

flounder,
yes, I get it.

monkey,
yes, now there are consequences to acting like a jackass. I'm not in favor of consequences.

mike,
that's a frightening scenerio.

andi,
Probably? Get your sweet ass over here.

cold hands,
I have no regrets.

etaylor,
she's down with the midgets.

mark,
I think so, because there isn't enough room for two in the pink.

Blogger yournamehere said...

kendra,
it's delightfully stereotypical. I love it.

spinning girl,
of course they do. I'm just not down with it.

sindy,
I'm 6'6".

kat,
I'd hope so.

ubie,
I bring out the worst in most people.

molly,
I think Bridget is resting on her midget-whore laurels.

ubie,
ouch.

Blogger Übermilf said...

Thanks to you Britney's getting a divorce. Explain why this picture appears, then a divorce is imminent?

Midget pole dancers....I can't help laughing when I picture that...We used to have comps in oz bars to see who could through one the furtherest when you'd had a belly full of booze...But that got banned...But hey throughing naked ones sounds better!!!

Blogger -osmo- said...

that was the funniest post i've read to date

Blogger n.v. said...

cruel, but hilarious is the last line, Todderick.

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