Britney Spears made the best decision of her life the other day; at least the best decision since she chose to wear a Catholic school girl outfit in the "...Baby One More Time" video. She decided to dump KFed and get back to the business of making really shitty music. Good for her!
While performing in Chicago last night, Kevin Federline reportedly said "You know I'm a free man, right, ladies? You wanna dance with a pimp?" I call upon all real pimps to kill him immediately.
On second thought, he's a talentless douchebag who spends the money of a worthless whore, so maybe he is a pimp after all.
Anyone who attends a Kevin Federline concert should have their intestines sucked out of their rectum with an industrial strength vaccum. He probably impregnated every female in the first three rows just by leering at them insipidly. And any woman who actually has sex with him should have her vagina sewn shut.
Okay, I'll make an exception for Britney. Her camel toe in this picture is hypnotizing me. I want to do its bidding. I want to build statues in its honor. I want to sacrifice virgins in its name and kill the fatted calf upon its return.
This decision can only help Britney's career. It kind of brings a person down to be married to the most useless human being in recorded history. For Federline, the gravy train just left the station. I wonder what demand there is for a wannabe ganster with delusions of grandeur?
Maybe I can make an introduction that will help him in his new career:
"KFed, glory hole; glory hole, KFed."