I voted Tuesday afternoon, and although the polls have just closed in the east, I'm prepared to declare a winner: ME! Because I'm free from being bombarded with campaign ads. For the past two months, I've had the worst aspects of human nature highlighted in prime time. Negative messages that speak to me like I'm brain dead are not a way to get me enthused about the political process.
This is a bi-partisan hatred I'm talking about, folks. These people should be ashamed of themselves and we should be ashamed for allowing it to happen. Negative ads are produced because they work.
I'm a Democrat but I don't really think some freshman Republican Congressman from Indiana is responsible for Mark Foley (Yes, since I live across the river from Indiana, I have to see their bullshit, too). But come on, a Democratic challenger from Kentucky doesn't want Bin Laden to rule the world. Really, he doesn't. If you think he does, please kill
I was also upset when a Republican with no military experience guestioned the patriotism of his opponent, a retired army colonel. He stole that trick from Cheney and Rumsfeld. In case you forgot, Cheney received a physical deferment from the military because he had a defective vagina.
There was some joy this election day, however. I work at a liquor store, and in accordance with Kentucky state law, no alcohol can be served or sold while the polls are open. Isn't that the dumbest law ever? But standing in our customer-less store putting away deliveries while disappointed alcoholics beat on the door demanding to be let in, despite the numerous signs saying we can't open until 6, fills me with unbridled joy. Go away, social parasites! I like to drink, but I can wait till 6 and so can you, you god damned rummies. One guy yelled at me as I walked to my car at the end of the day. "I drove here from (some godforsaken dry county). Since when have you been closed on election day?"
I ignored him. I wanted to say "Since Daniel Cunting Boone wrote the fucking law, hillbilly." But his alcohol deprivation was punishment enough.